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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030620">You're The Habit That I Can't Break</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsoundsgood/pseuds/thatsoundsgood'>thatsoundsgood</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Criminals, Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Prison, Blow Jobs, Bottom Louis, Choking, Daddy Kink, Derogatory Language, Dom/sub Undertones, Drug Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Family, Finger Sucking, Happy Ending, Harry Styles Loves Louis Tomlinson, Healthy Relationships, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kid Fic, M/M, Narcotics, No mpreg, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Organized Crime, Past Abuse, Praise Kink, Prison, Protective Harry, Recovery, Respectful harry, Sobriety, Top Harry, Under-negotiated Kink, blink and you might miss it, chosen family, everything between larry is consensual, getting better, ignoring safe word, non graphic drug use</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:28:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>45,020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26030620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatsoundsgood/pseuds/thatsoundsgood</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>When Louis crosses paths with a green eyed stranger in prison, he learns that some habits aren't so bad.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character(s), Louis Tomlinson/Original Male Character(s), Niall Horan/Liam Payne, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Zayn Malik/Liam Payne</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>172</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>573</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"If you want an ounce then I get your ass." The man in front of Louis stated dangling the baggie like an awful pendulum. He tried and failed to keep his dull nails from biting into the skin of his palm. </p><p>"But last time a blowie did it." Louis shook his head, desperate.</p><p>"Well that was last time and now I want your ass." Sam was a larger man and his dick tasted like sweaty old man. One of the many men who were only 'gay for the stay' at Doncaster Correctional Facility. Louis knew for a fact that he didn't want his dick in his body again, let alone in his ass. He hadn't had to cross that line yet and didn't want to now.</p><p>So, he shook his head, "No. I'll give you a blow job."</p><p>"Listen here, junkie, I don't think you're in the position to be making demands." Sam growled, back handing Louis across the face, "Ass or nothing. You have forty-eight hours and then the offer expires."</p><p>Sam and his two goons wandered away, one of the bald men who follow Sam everywhere even faked it out like he's going to hit Louis when he passed. Laughing with a mouthful of meth teeth when the smaller boy flinched.</p><p>"Fuck." Louis huffed, sliding down the wall of the prison laundry room. This was one of the only places left in the prison without adequate cameras leaving multiple blind spots including the one where Louis currently sat against the wall, head in his hands.</p><p>He hadn't always been like this; he was born into a nice middle-class family. Went to a nice public school and made his way through almost two years of college before he met Olivia. She was a pretty girl who liked control and Louis was an easy-going boy who liked to give it to her. When she grew bored of Louis, she tried to leave, he begged her to stay, and she told she'd stay if he experimented with her.</p><p>When she showed up to his dorm room with cocaine he almost backed out. But she just raised her perfectly manicured eyebrow and threatened to leave, so he did it. That's how every step down this path went, he could leave but he chose to stay. No one to blame but himself.</p><p>At least the sex was good, that's what Olivia said anyways, he barely remembered it. She'd load him up on drugs, sometimes pills, cocaine, or meth, she always bought using her father's money and he'd get sluggish, slurring, docile.</p><p>She knew her limits, so it always seemed like she was just a step closer to sober than he'd ever be. She'd lean over him and ask him to debase himself and Louis would without hesitation. The words and the memories long gone but the feeling of humiliated submission brought color to his cheeks without warning.</p><p>He didn't know what was worse. The fact that he let it happen or the fact that in some sick way he still craved the feeling to some extent.</p><p>Drugs for Louis were an escape he never knew he needed. So after that first night he fell behind in his classes. His grade tanked and he lost his scholarship and more importantly his will to continue in school. He was kicked out of his dorm but that was ok because Olivia had an off-campus apartment.</p><p>She would go to class each day leaving Louis behind, she would giggle saying Louis was her housewife. He'd cook and clean and get high. His parents didn't even know he dropped out until he was supposed to graduate two years later, and he had to tell them not to bother coming to the ceremony. He went for Olivia though, dressed in a nice little suit and sat next to her parents.</p><p>After graduation, Olivia started a cushy job working at an accounting firm and didn't have time for their criminal activities anymore. She quit cold turkey and laughed in Louis' face when he couldn't, saying it was a lack of self-discipline. That's when she started to refer to him as her junkie deadbeat boyfriend and made him beg her to buy him high quality drugs. He could only afford some back-alley shit working his minimum wage job. She liked when he begged, they always do.</p><p> </p><p>Louis' misery was suddenly interrupted by the sound of the door swinging open and the quick steps of steady feet. A taller man, with curly hair and a lean but muscular build appeared. He didn't seem to notice Louis sitting across from him as he slipped between two giant washers and accessed a vent. The smaller boy leaned his head over to see two huge bags, one looking like heroin, the other meth. Both of which the man slipped into his pants replacing the grate before turning to leave.</p><p>If Louis wasn't strung out, desperate for a fix, he might have thought to hide but he didn't. Like a deer in headlights green eyes met blue for the first time, the larger man paused, staring at the boy across from him, silent on the ground, "Did you see that?"</p><p>Louis' eyes flickered between the grate and the man in front of him and he shook his head, "no."</p><p>The man rolled his dark green eyes, "Liar."</p><p>Louis shook his head again, stumbling over his words, "I-I-I..." </p><p>"Liar and a junkie." The man mumbled, a look of frustration growing on his face as he looked over Louis like he had a giant sign giving away that truth. Anyone could tell he was a junkie just by looking at him. Maybe it was the dark circles under his eyes, or the way he always looked nervous and skinny. Whatever it was brought a deep coat of red to Louis' cheeks and the smaller man just huffed, before green eyes continued, "Fucking perfect."</p><p>"Sorry." The word hung in the air, so small and inadequate the taller man didn't even acknowledge it.</p><p>"Tomlinson?" The man read his name tag, "What's your first name."</p><p>Louis shook his head, he was definitely about to have a hit out for him, "I won't tell anyone."</p><p>"First name?" The man growled, mouth set in a fine line.</p><p>"Louis." The man spared him one last look, walking back out, drugs in hand. There were big names in this prison, gangs, cartels, and crime families, they wouldn't want anyone knowing how they got their drugs in and they'd be willing to kill to keep that secret. The sinking feeling in his stomach steadied Louis' shaking hands, fuck.</p><p> </p><p>"Tomlinson, you've had a cell reassignment." A particularly nasty guard everyone called Calypso stopped outside Louis' cell the next morning, "You have ten minutes to pack and move."</p><p>It came as no surprise, he'd been more on edge since that curly haired man left him sitting in the laundry room. Everyone that walked by started to look like an enemy, like large lurking shadows. He flinched at every noise that echoed around the stone building. Waiting for an inevitable death like a lamb to slaughter. He just didn't know when.</p><p>He was so fucking dead. Louis rolled his bed up slow trying to think of a plan, maybe he could offer the guard some payment for protection. His mouth could work wonders, he's been told by many people. Calypso looked like the type to accept bribes.</p><p>But he didn't even get his chance to offer before he arrived in front of his new cell—in the same block just a short walk away. The entrance was dark, and he paused before walking in, maybe the hitman that waited within would have the decency to wait until he was asleep to shank him.</p><p>"Are you coming in or are you gonna sleep in the doorway." The man from the laundry room asked, as Louis hovered near the door. His new cellmate.</p><p>The smaller boy took a small step into the room—it felt too small, too dark, and the guard was already gone.</p><p>"I haven't told anyone." The words spill from his lips soft and scared, the way predators like it. Something appeasing in the degradation of their prey.</p><p>"I'm sure you haven't." The man nodded towards the bottom bunk and Louis placed his stuff down, muttering, "You wouldn't be allowed to live if you did."</p><p>"You're not going to kill me?" Louis' voice quivers.</p><p>"I won't if you don't give me reason to." He explained, as if it were that easy.</p><p>"Ok." Louis gulped, he could be good, obedient, people liked that.</p><p>"When was your last fix?" The man asked and Louis felt his nerves settle, maybe the bigger man would keep him drugged up to keep him quiet.</p><p>"A few days ago." Louis mumbled.</p><p>"Oh good." The man nodded again, "So you'll be through the worst of the withdrawals in less than a week."</p><p>"What?" Louis' eyes snap up to the other man's face, now leaning near the entrance.</p><p>"You're getting clean." The man stated easily, like that was even an option after years of being strung out.</p><p>"I-I-I can't." Louis shook his head, coming to stand in front of the other man, "I can't quit."</p><p>"You can and you will." The larger man's tone was steely, even. This wasn't a debate.</p><p>"You can't make me." Louis shook his head, his finger twitching nervously at his side.</p><p>"How do you pay for your drugs, Louis." His name on the other man's lips felt oddly intimate, no one had called him that his entire time here. It was always Tomlinson or a slew of degrading nicknames.</p><p>"I work for them." The blush that settled on Louis' face an indicator of his embarrassment, his eyes dropping to the ground as well.</p><p>His cellmate walked Louis back until he was against the wall, the other man had a few inches on him. Not to mention his shoulders out width Louis' own. The man's hand rose and Louis flinched waiting for an impact on his face but not finding one, instead it landed gently against his cheek. His hand large enough to splay across the entirety of the right side of Louis' face, his thumb pressing on Louis' bottom lip, "You work with your mouth or your ass."</p><p>"It doesn't matter how I earn it." Louis shook his head or tired but the grip on his face slid down to his chin, holding him still. Green eyes pressed his thumb in between Louis' plump lips, the pad pressing onto Louis dull bottom teeth, onto his tongue. Louis watched enchanted as green eyes darken and focused on his entry point, the way they bowed around the other man's thumb.</p><p>"It does now." His cellmate hummed, "You are mine and no one would be dumb enough to try to use what's mine."</p><p>"No." Louis shook his head again, "I need it."</p><p>The man just quirked a humorless smile, "No you don't." His eyes lingered where his thumb slipped out of Louis' mouth, spit coating the tip before stepping away. Nodding to himself and leaving their cell, Louis was left to collapse onto the floor. Fuck.</p><p> </p><p>The next morning Louis woke with the urge to vomit, barely making it to the toilet in their room before his dinner from the night before came back up. He shivered uncontrollably and sweat, as he hunched over the metal bowl. He didn't even hear Harry get up, flinching sharply when he saw a water bottle appear in his peripheral vision. The man nodded towards the commissary item and Louis' shook his head wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.</p><p>"I can't pay you back." Louis stated and the man just rolled his eyes.</p><p>"Take it, Louis." Again, he used Louis' first name and it sat heavy in the smaller man's gut.</p><p>When one pm rolled around he searched out Sam in the usual spot, finding him already there.</p><p>"I'll take the deal." Louis nodded, fingernails scratching a little too hard over the skin on the bottom of his wrist, up to this elbow.</p><p>"The deal?" Sam played dumb, raising his eyebrows. A few of his thugs around him were smirking. Meth mouth even nudged his buddy, winking and sending a mocking kissy face. </p><p>"My ass for the ounce." Louis nodded, looking to where he knew Sam kept his stash hidden.</p><p>"Say it like you mean it." Sam nodded, a shit eating smile on his face. Louis shuddered, his fever getting higher, sweats even worse. He was about to hit a sobriety record soon.</p><p>"I want you to fuck me for an ounce."</p><p>Sam laughed, pinching Louis' cheek, "No can do, kiddo."</p><p>"What?! You said I had forty-eight hours!" Louis felt tears enter his eyes, "I need it."</p><p>"You had forty-eight hours when you were a free agent." He shrugged, "Now you belong to Styles and even I'm not dumb enough to fuck with him." Styles, that must be the name of his new cellmate. Apparently, he worked quickly spreading the news of his acquisition.</p><p>Louis' lips trembled with desolation, his body sore when he finally returned to his cell after going through all his plugs. Each denying him one after another, he stood in the doorway as Styles read a book on the bottom bunk, Louis' bed.</p><p>"Why?" Louis' voice trembled, nowhere near as strong as the anger he felt brewing in his chest.</p><p>"Hmmm?" The taller man asked, eyes flicking from his book to Louis' face. </p><p>"Why are you doing this?" Louis pressed his back against the wall, sliding down across from his roommate. Just a foot or two between them.</p><p>Styles finally put his book away, eyes flashed to Louis again before sitting up straight, his feet square on the floor, "Come here."</p><p>The man wanted Louis to crawl to him? To go down on him? Louis would, Olivia used to love that. That's how these people were; those who craved control.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Olivia went to answer the door what felt like hours ago to Louis' ketamine induced euphoria. Like his body floated in a soft pool of pillows but his mind was somewhere even better. He laughed to himself thinking about his childhood bed and the pillow he used to hug at night, with little bees all over it.</em>
</p><p><em>"</em> <em>What's he on?" A deep voice spoke from above him, to which he lazily tilted his head up to see a skinny man sitting on the couch.</em></p><p>
  <em>"It's the K you gave me." Olivia giggled and Louis giggled too because Olivia's laugh was funny. Louis lifted his fingers and giggled at them too, they were tiny and wiggling.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I told you that shit was strong." The man was named Kyle and he was one of Olivia's plugs, Louis knew that. Waving lazily at the man with a sloppy grin.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis didn't see or hear her reaction but then she was tilting Louis' head towards her, "Did you hear me, Lou?" Louis shook his head, he may have said something, but he couldn't be certain.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I said I want you to suck Kyle's dick."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis giggled again, because that had to be a joke, but it wasn't and Louis did it. That part came in flashes, Kyle's grip in his hair. The hard floor against his knees. The sound of Olivia laughing, her hand on the back of Louis' neck.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Louis shook himself from that thought and clumsily got onto his knees and closed the distance between them. His cellmate's deep voice left no room for argument, so he sat kneeling with slumped shoulders between the larger man's thighs.</p><p>Again, Style's hand rose and landed softly against Louis' cheek over his ear and onto the side of his neck, "You ask why? Why would I do this?"</p><p>"You don't even know me." Louis muttered towards the ground, the man's fingers tighten not painfully but firmly at the nape of Louis' neck. Directing his face upward, his eyes meet the other mans.</p><p>"Maybe I'm altruistic?" Curly laughed when Louis shook his head. No truly altruistic man would be here.</p><p>"Maybe I just want what's best for you." The man asked and Louis shook his head again, then the other man's face fell serious, "Or maybe I want it so that if you ever come back here high, I'll know exactly where you got your fix."</p><p>Louis huffed, there it is, "I won't steal from you."</p><p>"You certainly won't if you're clean." The man nodded, with an easy smile.</p><p>"I can't." Louis sobbed into his hands, so pitiful sitting between the legs of a man he barely knew.</p><p>"You can and you will."</p><p> </p><p>The first week of withdrawals was so bad Louis remembered why he hasn't been sober in years. His body quaked and he stayed in bed for a full forty eight hours, time all blurred together. He vaguely had a feeling his new cellmate held a water bottle to his lips and fed him crackers but that can't be true.</p><p>Once the worst of it was through, Louis found himself more sober than he can remember being in recent history but that doesn't mean he's better. He still itches for it, can feel a hum of desire under his skin like a constant vibration. Not to mention he was on edge all the time and regularly felt a terrible sense of impending doom whenever he was out of his cell, so he stopped. He stopped showering, eating, or anything else for days.</p><p>A shadow fell over Louis' bed where he sat picking at his blanket, Styles tilted his head to see Louis leaning against the wall, "You haven't eaten in days."</p><p>"'M not hungry." Louis shook his head, not meeting his cellmate's dark eyes.</p><p>"Bullshit."</p><p>"I just can't go down there." Louis admitted, picking at his nails now. A gasp of surprise escaped his lips when Styles gripped his ankle, pulling him to the side of the bed, finally getting a good look at the smaller man's face. All dark circles and pale skin.</p><p>"You scared?" The taller man mumbled, hand gently cupping Louis' chin, tilting his head until his neck ached to see him. His hands were just as warm and soft as the first time they met Louis' skin.</p><p>"Fuck you." Louis spat out much too soft to sound menacing at all, ""m not scared."</p><p>"It's ok. Anxiety and paranoia are common symptoms of withdrawal."</p><p>"I just don't feel safe." Louis shook his head; he sounded like a kid. Who the fuck feels safe in prison?</p><p>Harry hummed, his thumb brushing Louis' jaw, always with those dark and searching eyes, "I'll watch your back, come on." </p><p>There's no room for arguing, Curly hauled him up and walked them towards the mess hall, with a firm hand on the back of Louis' neck. He'd never admit it out loud, but it made him feel better, more secure. It was a giant red flag to everyone else though. Louis Tomlinson is this man's bitch.</p><p>If Louis had any dignity left, after what he'd done to get his fix in here than it was lost when he allowed his cellmate to walk him to the mess like this.</p><p>The food sucked but Louis ate and ate until there was nothing left. When he finished, Styles wordlessly pushed his tray over and replaced Louis' empty one. The smaller boy blushed but ate that tray too. He didn't feel bad, he knew the other man had commissary for days.</p><p>"Why?" Louis asked again, when he finished half the second tray.</p><p>"Why what?" The larger man asked, eyes stopping their constant scanning of the area to look at the smaller man before continuing.</p><p>"You didn't have to do this." Louis murmured.</p><p>"I did this to keep my supply chain safe." Harry chanced a small smirk, "I'm a business man."</p><p>"I meant this. Bringing me to the mess." Louis blushed, "Getting me water when I was coming down."</p><p>"You remember that?" Dark eyes inspecting Louis' face for something.</p><p>"Barely." Louis shrugged, eyes now fixed on his hand playing with the food left on the tray,</p><p>"I just don't get it." The taller man's long fingers tapped the table while he thought before responding, "I'm not a bad guy, Louis."</p><p>Blue eyes searched out the other man's face, stoic as ever before nodding, "Ok." He could accept that answer for now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>"Why?" Louis sobbed his hands numb, skin burning from where the rope bit into his wrists.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why what?" Olivia shook her head, standing above Louis, hand loosely holding a whip.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis opened his mouth to respond but the sound he made was a pathetic sob instead of words, "Please, uh uh grapefruit?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are you trying to safe word out?" Olivia threw her head back in a laugh.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, please no more." Louis sobbed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh well that's not the safe word." Olivia twisted her face into condescending pity, her words tortuously slow, "You must not want it that bad, if you can't even remember the word."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis racked his mind trying to come up with the word and all he could remember it ever being was 'grapefruit'. The tears becoming too much on his face, the sobs too heavy in his lungs, "Please, Olivia? I'm scared."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, Louis." Olivia's hand was actually soft when it landed on his shoulder, tracing its way to his chest, "You forgot something."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"W-w-what?" Louis whimpered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I like it when you're scared."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>That night Louis fell asleep early, before the overhead lights even turned off, but woke in the night. Sweating from a dream that fled his mind quickly but left him hard and sad. He didn't even realize he was crying until he felt the tears on his cheeks, wiping them quickly and trying to stifle his noises. </p><p>At least when he was high he didn't have dreams, good or bad.</p><p>The bed above him rustled and Louis prayed his cellmate was just turning over but then legs appeared in his vision and the man jumped down.</p><p>Styles rested his hand on his own bunk dunking down to look over Louis' face. Illuminated by the moonlight slipping through their tiny window, the taller man sat on the side of Louis' bed. There was a few beats of silence in which they just stared at each other before he spoke.</p><p>"When I first got clean someone told me that you have to find something to cut the edge." His voice was rough like Louis had woken him.</p><p>"To cut the edge?" Louis sniffled, briefly hoping the other man didn't notice he was half hard or that his face was still slightly wet with tears.</p><p>He nodded with a deep hum, "Yeah, like a hobby, running or religion. Something less dangerous to keep you busy. To keep you clean."</p><p>"oh." Louis thought over his options, "I don't know what I would do. I haven't had a hobby since I was a kid. I haven't been sober since I was nineteen."</p><p>His cellmate's eyes, serious and intense, flicker down to Louis bulge, "I can think of one way."</p><p>The smaller man blushed, the tone unmistakable, "I don't even know your name."</p><p>"Harry." The man replied without hesitation, reaching down and cupping the smaller man through his uniform. A soft sigh leaving Louis' lips, as Harry leaned closer but he didn't connect his mouth to Louis' instead inspecting his face.</p><p>"Why're you always looking at me like that." Louis asked, around huffs as Harry's eyes searched out his. </p><p>His hand, large and firm against his crotch, finally slipped into Louis' pants, taking him into his hold, "Like what?"</p><p>"Like that." Louis panted, gliding a dainty hand onto Harry's arm, "All dark and searching."</p><p>Harry huffed out a breathy laugh before bending down, his lips wet when he glided them over Louis' cheek, over his jaw to his ear, "I'm thinking about how fucking delicious you'd look bouncing on my cock with those pretty little tears running down your face."</p><p>Louis gasped, his dick twitching in Harry's hand, "Fuck."</p><p>"Would you like that, good boy?" Harry asked, the taller man scrunching up to straddle Louis' thighs, "Instead of getting high on nasty drugs you could spend all day getting high on my dick, my cum?"</p><p>Louis nodded, going up on his elbows his head lifting to take in the way Harry's breath puffed against his dick, he couldn't think of the last time he'd been on the receiving end of a blow job, "Uh huh. Please."</p><p>"Tell me what you are?" Harry asked, brushing just his lips over the tip, tongue sneaking out to skirt just his slit.</p><p>"Uhh..." Louis was confused, thinking back to all the names he'd been called, the names he'd been forced to call himself over the years, "A slut?"</p><p>"No..." Harry brushed the tip again, "Guess again."</p><p>"A whore?" Louis asked, lips open and pupils blown. The large man sighed softly before crawling up Louis' form until they were face to face, "No no no please Harry, please!"</p><p>Harry's face tilted as he took in Louis' desperate face, his cries, pressing his lips into Louis', a closed mouth firm kiss, "Guess again."</p><p>"Anything." Louis whimpered quietly, grinding himself against Harry's thigh. How many times had Louis given himself away for a fix? He'd done, said, been worse for less, "I'll be anything you want."</p><p>The larger man shook his head, nosing over Louis' cheek again taking in his scent his soft skin, "You are my good boy, Louis. Sober and good."</p><p>Oh. Louis froze, he hadn't heard that one before. Maybe that was a kink for his cellmate? He gulped and nodded, "Ok."</p><p>"Say it." Harry's nose nudged Louis', a quiet but powerful command. Intense eyes fixed on Louis', "Tell me."</p><p>"I'm a—I'm your good boy." Louis' voice shook and it felt wrong, people like Harry don't compliment people like Louis. They don't praise people like Louis. But Harry did and boy did it make Louis' impossibly harder.</p><p>His cellmate smiled wide, a completely new expression on his face. And low and behold, the dangerous man had dimples, "You are so good, Louis."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"What're you doing?" Louis' head whipped up as Olivia entered the terrace. She wasn't supposed to be home yet.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Reading?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Reading?" She asked like she couldn't even imagine it. dropping her bag and settling on Louis' lap. Sending his book flying to the ground, "What's a pretty boy like you need with books?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis shrugged, it wouldn't do him good to argue, "How was your day?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"It went well." Olivia shrugged, " I brought you a present."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You did?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Uh huh." she dropped a kiss onto Louis lips, "open your mouth." Louis did without question, his eyes fluttering closed, "Actually I want you to ask me for it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"But I don't know what it is?" Louis laughed nervously.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"So?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So he nodded looking down, "Please, Olivia? Can I please have my present?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh, Louis..." Her finely manicured nails dug into his scalp, "it doesn't even seem like you want it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Please? Olivia, I really want my present." Louis faked enthusiasm, " I'll do anything."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Now that's what I like to hear." She giggled instructing him to hold out his tongue again. She placed a pill there and Louis swallowed.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What is it?" Louis whispered.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"GHB."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis balked at her, "isn't that a date rape drug?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean technically but I can't rape you because I'm your girlfriend." She finally climbed off his lap, "You trust me, right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yeah." Louis stood and tried to excuse himself. He was going to force himself to vomit it back up.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I know you're not going to waste my hard earned money by trying to pull trigger on that." Her voice was cold and Louis turned to her and nodded.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You are such a bad boy, Louis Tomlinson." Her voice was already starting to sound farther away, "What am I going to do with you?"</em>
</p><p> </p><p>A few more days go by and Louis felt on edge again, that first night with Harry just a blip in their relationship. The taller man kept a hold on Louis when walking the halls, but other than that their touches are few and far between.</p><p>Harry spent his days disappearing for hours on end for 'business'. Either that or reading from his small library, he'd collected. The curly haired man offered Louis the chance to read one, joking dryly, "Make sure you return it on time or there'll be a fee."</p><p>Louis chose 'Leaves of Grass' by Walt Whitman. Those old health class movies on drugs didn't lie, Louis used to be able to read a whole book in a few hours. Now he could barely keep his mind focused to get through a few pages, but it was better than nothing.</p><p>"You need to shower." Harry stated, throwing the issued towel his way and standing.</p><p>"Don't wanna." Louis shook his head, rolling onto his side to face the wall, book in hand. Harry was right, he grew more paranoid and anxious by the day, and the thought of going into that shower, just an open room really, made him too nervous to bear.</p><p>Big hands landed on his hip, pulling him onto his back, "You have to."</p><p>"Are you saying I smell?" Louis pouted and Harry's eyes flash to his pouted lip.</p><p>"You don't smell yet but if you don't shower, you're going to." Harry yanked the boy to his feet, causing Louis to stumble into his chest. The bigger man took his chin into a comfortably tight grip, "And if you wanna pout at me like that then you better be ready to feel my fingers against your lips."</p><p>"Just your fingers?" Louis raised a single eyebrow, jokingly catching the other man's thumb between his lips. The larger man had a weird affinity with Louis' mouth.</p><p>Harry groaned, pressing in further brushing the back of Louis teeth and under his tongue, growling, "Such a soft mouth." Louis blushed, deep red, but allowed the other man to keep his finger in his mouth, until he pulled away.</p><p>"What's up with you and putting your fingers in my mouth?" The smaller lad asked.</p><p>"You have such a good mouth." Harry nodded, thumb brushing over his bottom lip, pulling it down a little roughly, "Now let's go shower."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Louis sat low on the couch, his phone screen was shattered so he could barely read the message Olivia sent him. But he got the gist, she would be 'having a guest' tonight. He debated about whether he should just leave but decided against it. That would make Olivia more mad.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>So he sat here and waited. It'd been almost an hour since he took a xanax, and he felt the beginnings of a medicated calm fill his limbs. Unfortunately most prescription drugs barely had any effect on him these days but it'd do.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The door opened and Louis flinched when the lights flickered on, "Why're you sitting in the dark?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I ummm..." Louis gulped when he saw Olivia's 'guest'. Peter from the wedding was shucking his suit jacket and loosening his tie.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He winked Louis' way, "Hey there, pretty thing."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Olivia came to stand behind the couch, tilting Louis' head back to look at his face, "Are you already high?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis shook his head, "No."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You're lying to me." Olivia stated, "What'd you take? Where'd you get it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis frowned, "Just a xanax. I-I-It's my own."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Hmm." Olivia sighed, "Who bought it?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You gave it to me." Louis finally stood, eyes tracking between a disappointed Olivia and Peter searching through their fridge.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Do you want to be punished, Louis?" Olivia asked, and Louis bit his lip, shaking his head. Peter's laugh at the question from the kitchen, settled shame deep into his gut.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Can I do it?" Peter asked, and Louis shook his head but didn't voice his opinion. He should have just left, found somewhere else to sleep. Honestly a park bench would have been better than this.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Later that night Louis was restless again, rolling onto his back, side, and the front over and over again. Until he couldn't stand that itch under his skin anymore, taking action and crawling onto the top bunk.</p><p>The other man woke in an instant, roughly grabbing Louis' arm before realizing it was him, "Shit sorry."</p><p>"Don't worry." Louis shook his head, "Definitely not the roughest I've been grabbed." The smaller man wasted no time getting into Harry's pants, but the man's grip just tightened, stalling Louis' movements.</p><p>"What're you doing?" Harry pulled Louis up until the smaller man rested straddling his chest, instead of his thighs. His voice was still rough from sleep and confusion. </p><p>"I was gonna..." Louis paused for a moment motioning to Harry's dick, "I was going to give you a blowie?"</p><p>"Why?"</p><p>"Why?" Louis repeated, no one had ever questioned Louis' motives before, "To uhh cut the edge."</p><p>Harry titled his head, eyes squinting in the dark, "Are you gay?"</p><p>Louis was startled at the question, no one ever asked him that before. Not Sam when he got him his last fix. Not Olivia when she told him to suck their plug's dick for the first time. No one cared if Louis was gay, he was just a mouth.</p><p>"I'm bi, I guess." Louis mumbled embarrassed to say that was his first time revealing that to anyone. This was the first time anyone had asked.</p><p>"You guess?" Harry questioned, fingers tracing up the smaller boy's waist softly, eyes just as forgiving, "Do you enjoy being with men? Or do you enjoy what men give you once you've done them?"</p><p>Louis tilted his head, and reasoned that his cellmate didn't sound condescending or mean, just curious. So, he thought over his answer carefully, fingers anxiously running down Harry's chest, "I like it."</p><p>"What do you like?" Harry asked for clarification.</p><p>"I like when..." Louis mumbled but Harry wrapped a large hand around his chin, forcing Louis' eyes up, "I like it when it gets hard in my mouth. When a man holds me down. When someone wraps their fingers in my hair and..." Louis blushed because he's gone from half hard to almost full just talking it through, "I don't know."</p><p>"That's ok." Harry quirked a small smile, like a secret little thing only Louis got to see, satisfied with the answer, "I would like if you gave me a blow job, Louis."</p><p>"Ok." Louis hurried from his spot further south, taking the larger man's pants with him until he sprung free and Louis' eyes widened, "You're big."</p><p>Harry hummed, nodding, those green eyes glued to Louis' face, "Is that gonna be ok?"</p><p>"Yeah!" Louis nodded, almost too excited before bringing his face down to Harry's dick. A few kitten licks to the tip before taking it into his mouth, hollowing his cheeks. The head sitting heavy on his tongue the way Harry liked his fingers to rest when he popped them into Louis' mouth. Blue eyes stared into green for a long breathless moment.</p><p>The curly haired man nodded, brushing soft fingers through Louis' hair, "Such a good mouth, baby." Louis took the praise in stride, feeling a pulse in his own cock before going deeper. Working his mouth up and down until he felt the head hit the back of his throat. Tears jumped to his eyes, but he didn't gag until he pushed even further, wanting to take the entire length in him. </p><p>Harry's soft hands turned firm before he plucked the smaller man off his cock all together. Green eyes almost completely black, "Louis, you don't have to hurt yourself to make me feel good." Again, the smaller boy looked back in confusion, just the other day Harry said he wanted to see Louis crying on his cock. People like Harry liked to see their partners crying and hurt, he wanted it.</p><p>"What if I like it?" Louis whispered; his voice already rough from just the few moments of deepthroating. The bigger man sat up finally, placing firm hands on Louis' hips, their dicks lining up, through Louis' uniform. The man on top grinding his hips slowly, huffing at the slight friction. </p><p>"You like it rough?" Harry asked, placing a gentle kiss onto Louis' flushed cheek, down his neck. And Louis wanted to say yes but that's not entirely true, he liked the soft kisses, the nice words. But he also liked the fingerprint shaped bruises and a firm hand around his neck. Speaking of which, Harry has worked his hand up Louis' chest and pressed it firmly onto the small man's neck.</p><p>Louis gulped and nodded, "I want it."</p><p>Harry sighed, like he was thinking, not an easy task with Louis' hips still gyrating against his slick cock, "Do you like those names you called yourself the other day? Slut?" Louis flinched, the word spoken so low barely a whisper still hurt, "Whore?" Flinch.</p><p>Louis shook his head, nuzzling into the spot where Harry's index finger had risen from his neck and stroked his jaw, "No."</p><p>"Hmm." Harry gets it, like one more puzzle piece slipped into place, "That's because you're not a slut or a whore."</p><p>"No?" Louis asked, eyes wide willing to accept whatever Harry deemed right.</p><p>"No." The man nuzzled his lips against Louis' cheek, against his jaw, "You're daddy's good boy, huh?"</p><p>"Yeah." The word more of a breathy moan than anything else, "'M good."</p><p>"uh huh." Harry nibbled over Louis ear lobe and down behind his ear, "My good boy just likes to feel daddy's there." The larger man switched their position pushing Louis down onto the bed, hand locked on his neck, "He likes when Daddy holds him down and leaves his mark."</p><p>Louis nodded frantically, searching out any friction he could find, pressing up into Harry's hand around his neck, "Tell me what you are."</p><p>"'m Daddy's good boy." The words were just indecent as they slipped out of Louis' spit covered lips and Harry couldn't help just looking on in awe.</p><p>"Can I kiss you?" Louis froze but nodded, no one had kissed him in a long time let alone asked him if he wanted it. So, when Harry's plump lips brushed over his so much softer than the hand around his neck he whined into it. The larger man groaned , "Fuck, baby."</p><p>Then they were making out, hard and fast all tongues and teeth. Louis couldn't help the whines and moans that escape his lips as Harry thrust into his thigh desperately searching for friction. Louis slipped his hand around Harry's dick jerking him a few times while maintaining their full lip contact.</p><p>"I'm gonna come, baby boy." Harry broke their kiss pressing a hard bite onto Louis' neck, sucking even harder before releasing all over the other man's hand and pants. Harry pulled back big eyes taking in Louis' face as he brought his cum covered hand to his lips to lick it clean. Harry wasted no time swiping his own cum onto his index finger before bringing it to Louis' lips too.</p><p>The smaller boy opened his mouth and Harry set his finger between Louis' teeth and groaned in pleasure as Louis swiped his tongue around the digit. Sucking off the salty cum before just leaving it there, coating the digit in saliva as he stared into the taller man's eyes.</p><p>"Can I finger you, Louis?" Harry asked, and Louis briefly thought the other man was kind of strange for asking at every step. Like he didn't think Louis would want it. He'd never had a partner like this.</p><p>"Yeah." Louis nodded, taking a second and third finger into his mouth, coating them good while pulling down his pants. His cock, smaller than Harry's, sprung free before the larger man hiked Louis' legs onto his shoulders. When Harry finally pulled his fingers from Louis' mouth a string of saliva kept them attached for just a moment before breaking off. With the other boy's lips shiny and red, Harry leaned down to recapture them.</p><p>Louis was bent at such a burning angle his thighs shook as Harry plunged his tongue deeper into his mouth. The blue eyed boy easily took it in pressing up into the other man's lips. Meanwhile, Harry's index finger circled his hole before pushing in, the resistance forcing Harry's lips from Louis', "Have you been fingered before, baby?"</p><p>A deeper flush settled across his face, Harry just inches above him, "Yeah I just haven't been with anyone in a while."</p><p>Harry nodded, working the other boy open, scissoring until there was easy movement. The moment was so much more intimate than the last person he remembers fucking him. That time he was high on ecstasy in a bathroom at a wedding with his face shoved down onto a granite countertop. The green-eyed man watched Louis' face intently, taking in the small sounds leaving his perfect little mouth every time he brushed his prostate.</p><p>"Such a good boy." Harry finally worked a third finger into Louis before hitting full force against the other boy's pleasure center. Louis' eyes fell closed, his mouth muttering words of praise as the curly haired boy found the best angle, "Look at me."</p><p>Louis' eyes snapped open at the rough tone and the terrible stilling of fingers, "Please don't stop, Harry."</p><p>"You look at me when I'm fucking you." Louis gasped, bottom lip trembling before nodding. A groan of relief loud and high pitch when Harry continued with renewed vigor. Louis was clenching around his fingers and came suddenly, lightning running through his fingers and toes.</p><p>Harry slowly lowered Louis' leg off his shoulder, down to the mattress. Wiggling his fingers one last time, sending an oversensitive gasp from Louis' lips, "Harry, uh please no more."</p><p>"Don't worry, baby. We're all done." With his fingers free he brought them to his lips sucking them clean, Louis nodded, definitely not a question but certainly a yes. Once collected, his pulse no longer reeling and his cum cold against his stomach, Louis moved to leave. Sitting up he wiped himself clean, pulling his pants up and getting to his knees to get off the bed but large hands stopped his motion.</p><p>"Where are you going?" Harry came to kneel chest firm against Louis' back, hands tight at his hips.</p><p>"Umm." Louis leaned his head back, lips brushing Harry's jaw, "My bed?"</p><p>"Stay here." Harry asked but didn't wait for a response pulling Louis down so that he was facing the wall, spooning him from behind, "Stay with me." And Louis did.</p><p>He didn't think about how he hadn't even cuddled with Olivia the last year of their relationship. He didn't think about the words Harry pressed into his skin so easily, as if he really thought they were true. He didn't think at all, he just slept. </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning Louis woke to an empty bed: Harry's empty bed. He purposefully filled his stomach with a deep warm breath trying to settle the queasiness of anxiety brewing there. That creeping fog of rejection and shame building like it had a million times before, when he heard a voice from directly below him, "You awake?"</p><p>Louis was quick to lean his head over the side of the bed to find Harry sitting on the lower bunk, book in hand. He caught the flash of something black before he closed the book, but Louis already knows what it was, a phone. A lot of inmates had phones and not even thick ancient nokias, a few had iphones. He overheard one guy talking about an app called tiktok, that they would post videos on. And Harry had one just like that. Who was Harry talking to outside of this place?</p><p>"Uhhh hi." Louis nodded. Suddenly he felt like a college freshman again waking up after a one-night stand, awkward.</p><p>"You should get dressed." Harry flashed him a smile, gone within seconds, "Breakfast is in ten."</p><p>"Ok yeah." Louis nodded, a little flustered pulling his head up and moving the blanket to look for his shirt, "Where's my shirt?"</p><p>Harry's head popped up his arms resting on the side of the bed, nonchalantly stating, "It has cum all over it."</p><p>"But that was my last shirt until laundry in two days." Louis mumbled, "I'll just turn it inside out." </p><p>"Here, you can use one of mine." Harry reached for one of his own, handing the boy his shirt. Louis rolled his eyes, not accepting the token. "Did you just roll your eyes at me?" The tone sent a bolt of arousal up Louis' spine, blue eyes taking in the serious man's face.</p><p>"Everyone already thinks I'm your bitch." Louis didn't stand down; he'd rather wear a dirty shirt than one of Harry's.</p><p>"My bitch?" The larger man's voice dropped low, his hand striking out to pull Louis in close by the back of his neck. Louis' body bent at an awkward angle, like the child's pose from that hot yoga class Olivia used to drag him to.</p><p>"Mm." Louis hummed in agreement; Harry's face was too close to his for him to make up a sassier reply.</p><p>Harry's lips ghost over Louis' cheek to his ear, where he whispered, "But you're not my bitch. You are my good boy, huh?"</p><p>Louis stuttered a breath, "Umm I-I..."</p><p>The larger man's hand tightened, pulling Louis back just a little so they could make eye contact, "My good boy who will wear what I give him."</p><p>Louis was used to dropping his eyes, often too ashamed to look at people around him. People who had seen him at his absolute worst. People who liked to watch him humiliated, who got off on him debasing himself. But not this time, not Harry. Even though his hand gripped him tightly and held him exactly where he wanted him, Louis didn't feel out of control. Harry may be in control, but he didn't take what wasn't given.</p><p>"Ok." Louis whispered eyes soft, flickering down for just a moment to catch Harry's tongue grazing gently against his lips.</p><p>"Good boy." His hand loosened, leaning in to place a soft close-mouthed kiss against Louis' lips, before letting go all together. Before moving back Harry lifted a single finger in warning, "And don't you roll your eyes at me, little boy."</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Louis watched his hands with great interest, sitting neat and stiff in one of the arm chairs in Olivia's and his shared bedroom. It was either his hands or his girlfriend underneath some larger and more attractive man.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>She enjoyed watching Louis with other people so by her logic Louis must enjoy this. Her moans were sickening and Louis wanted to cry. This felt more like a punishment than a gift.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Are you sure your boyfriend likes this?" Louis could hear Peter asking Olivia, as if either of them cared.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Definitely." Olivia answered, "Louis loves it, isn't that right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis glanced up to find both of them looking at him, so he gulped and nodded. At this point Louis couldn't even remember the last time he fucked Olivia.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Suddenly it had been two months of long nights with uncomplicated protective touches. Of Harry whispering dirty but soft possessive words into Louis' skin, marking him selfishly. Louis hadn't felt this good in years, he was sober, and he was getting sex that didn't hurt or make him scared. He cried tears of pleasure not sorrow.</p><p>One night he found his ear to Harry's heart, the rhythm soothing and calm. A large hand rubbing warm circles into Louis' lower back until he was half asleep.</p><p>"When was the first time you got high?" Harry asked, and Louis would feel blindsided if this wasn't his M.O. Most nights they'd fuck and then while Louis was half awake Harry would ask, 'What's your mom like?', 'Did you go to college?', or 'What did you want to be when you were a kid?'. This one felt a little harder to answer, but Louis licked his lips.</p><p>"I was nineteen and my girlfriend, Olivia, said she wanted to experiment, I thought she meant like more BDSM shit, but she brought cocaine and it was all downhill from there."</p><p>"BDSM?" Harry hummed, the larger man's demeanor often came across as apathetic, but Louis had learned to read the small changes in tone and even breathing to find some deeper emotion, "I'm sorry but I can't picture you tying someone up and paddling them."</p><p>"She tied me up." Louis blushed, he knew that wasn't the usual set up. When people picture that sort of thing, they don't tend to picture the man on bottom. His mates in college gave him shit for it when they found the rope burns on his wrists and ankles.</p><p>"Oh, now that makes sense." Harry brought a hand to the back of Louis' head, fingers working wonders against his scalp, "Would you let me tie you up?"</p><p>Louis pulled back looking the other man over before biting his lip, "Would you let me go if I asked?"</p><p>"Of course." Harry quirked a smile, but Louis' face was serious. He watched Harry try to hide the spark of anger when he whispered, "She didn't?"</p><p>Louis shrugged, settling his head back down against Harry's chest, "She liked when I cried, when I panicked."</p><p>"That's not very safe and sane." Harry muttered, jaw clenched running through every way he'd like to tie up that girl and make her panic.</p><p>Louis shrugged, picking his fingers over Harry's shirt, "I don't blame her for my weaknesses. She got clean without even trying. She was always better than me. She always expected more from me than I could give."</p><p>"She got you addicted to drugs and abused you." Harry stated, no time for playing games. Louis was up in an instant, like he'd been burnt by the words.</p><p>"No." Louis shook his head. Louis had been hurt by a lot of people, he'd been used by a lot of people but not Olivia. Olivia loved him but he wasn't enough, "I got myself addicted to drugs and she didn't abuse me."</p><p>"You just said she tied you up and wouldn't let you go when you were panicking."</p><p>"She liked when I begged." Louis shook his head, pulling his knees to his chest, "It was a thing for her, and she just didn't know when she went too far."</p><p>Harry sat up, face completely serious and jaw locked. His fingers were a little too tight when bringing Louis' eyes to his, "She knew exactly where that line was and she chose to cross it because she's a bad person who liked doing bad things to you. Don't for a second think that's not true."</p><p>"Her father got me reduced time." Louis searched Harry's eyes, "She loved me, but I just kept fucking up. I couldn't keep her because I wasn't man enough."</p><p>The line was so practiced so dead, that the smaller man probably couldn't even count how many times he was told this. How many times he heard the words before he began to repeat them himself. Harry landed a firm hand on Louis' knee flattening it out and pulling him onto his lap, "She got you hooked and then let you drown. And let me guess he got you that reduced sentence if you told the judge you didn't know where you got the drugs from?"</p><p>"He was the judge." Louis blushed, "And I'm the addict not her. It's not about her."</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes, "You were an addict and she is the devil incarnate. If I ever meet that woman, I'll kill her."</p><p>"Why would you do that?" Louis was shocked, but a little embarrassed when he found that he didn't ask out of concern for his ex but rather out of disbelief. No one cared enough about him.</p><p>"She sounds like a manipulative bitch that no one would miss." Harry explained, tightening his hold on Louis' waist and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head, "Also she messed with what's mine and no one gets to mess with what's mine."</p><p>"I'm just a thing to you?" Louis asked, "Just another possession you need to care for?"</p><p>"No." Harry pulled Louis' fingers to his lips, kissing each knuckle up his arm across his shoulders, "But every single one of your dainty little fingers, your wrists, your bones, every inch of your skin belongs to me. All that you are is mine and all that I am is yours."</p><p>"Is that how it is?" Louis asked, licking his lips, eyes narrowing, "Would you let me go if I asked?"</p><p>Dark eyes flashed with something dangerous, something Louis hadn't fully witnessed before, "Of course, but why would you want to go?"</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>"When was the last time you fucked her?" Peter asked, chuckling when the words made Louis jump in his seat. Louis hadn't heard the other man come out onto the terrace.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Olivia?" Peter asked, "When was the last time you fucked her?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I don't know." Louis shrugged, voice just a whisper in the cool morning air, "I'm high a lot. I forget things."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You don't know?" He asked, head tilting coyly, "Or you don't remember because I've been fucking her so long she hasn't needed you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis blushed, shrugging, it was no secret that Olivia was almost dating the older man now. Her father was probably happy with that, seeing as how Peter had just been shortlisted as the next District Attorney for the city, "I don't know."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis stiffened in his chair when the man stepped right in from him so that his knees touched the other man's shins before him. His hand moved faster than Louis's drug addled mind could comprehend and the impact of his grip against Louis' head would have knocked him over if the man hadn't grabbed his hair. His hold tightened as he tilted Louis' head into an awkward angle. The smaller man's heart began to pound despite whatever cocktail of drugs in his system were trying to keep him calm, docile.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"When she's done chewing you up and finally spits you out, let me take you."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Take me?" Louis whimpered, the man had already fucked him. What else could he want?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'll be good to you." He nodded, "I'll only punish you when you deserve it. I won't hurt you like she does."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis gulped, "She doesn't hurt me if I don't deserve it."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh honey," Peter's pout was condescending, teetering on rude, "No one deserves those burns on your stomach."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"T-t-that was my fault." Louis shook his head, "It was on accident."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Oh? She accidentally tied you up and then accidentally burnt you?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"No." Louis shook his head, "I fell asleep with a candle and it tipped over and burnt me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's what she told you to tell the E.R. nurse?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I love her." Louis changed the subject, "She just doesn't know when she's gone too far."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Peter licked his lips and shook his head with a chuckle, "You may love her but she will never love you. I would treat you right." His hold lightened until he was just gently petting over Louis' hair, "Give you gifts. Take you to nice parties and fuck you the way you deserve."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Louis shook his head, "She loves me a-a-and you like her, not me."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I like her enough but we both know she can't give me what you can."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"What?" Louis' head was still reeling from whatever sort of mind game this was, "What can I give you that she can't?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He leaned forward, his thumb sweeping over Louis' cheek, "Submission."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>One morning, Louis was waiting for Harry to go down to the mess when a guard appeared outside their cell, Calypso. He was shifty and looked between the two nervously, until Harry took notice, "What's up?"</p><p>"I have a message." The man nodded and Harry sighed.</p><p>"Louis run along to the mess and I'll catch up." Harry directed; tone serious so Louis listened without another word. His skin crawled with every step he took away because he hadn't been more than two feet from Harry outside their cell in two months and it felt wrong. Paranoia sunk in with every step and he grabbed a tray but couldn't stomach eating it.</p><p>His confidence withered away until he realized he was not a recovered addict, he hasn't beaten his addiction. He just got a new one and when Harry didn't show up at breakfast, his hands shook on the walk back. He couldn't help but feel a sense of doom rising in his chest, in his stomach.</p><p>Harry was crouched down when he got back searching for something under the bed, "What're you looking for?"</p><p>"My issued sock." Harry growled, clearly in a bad mood, "The fuckers won't let me leave without returning what I was issued."</p><p>"Leave?" Louis muttered, "You're getting out?"</p><p>"Yeah." Harry nodded, finally pulling the sock from its hiding spot and throwing it onto his stuff. Piled up and ready to go. His eyes jumped around the room a little chaotically. The man who always seemed to have everything in control was suddenly a mess.</p><p>"You weren't going to tell me?" Louis asked, voice a little too stoic. A little too detached already. He was an expert at losing things, at having things disappear.</p><p>"It was a surprise." Harry nodded, walking towards Louis and taking his face into his hands.</p><p>"You didn't know?" Louis was confused, people counted down to their release date, "Your date got moved up?"</p><p>"Something like that." Harry nodded, "Look I came here to do something and now I've done it, so I have to go."</p><p>"You have to go?" His voice shook, a blush crawling up his cheeks.</p><p>"Yes, I have to. I don't have a choice."</p><p>"Oh." Louis nodded but didn't really understand, "Ok."</p><p>"It's gonna be ok, Lou. Your date should be coming up in a few months and then we'll be together again." Harry explained, "I'll come pick you up."</p><p>"You will?" Louis asked surprised, not for one second did he picture this thing with Harry escaping into the real world. Harry was the best lover he ever had, soft but rough where it mattered, not to mention he was the first person who listened and cared when he spoke. But that was here in prison. Harry was handsome, smart, and tough. He didn't need someone like Louis in his life. He probably had a million people better, smarter than Louis.</p><p>"Of course." Harry nodded, "Look I'm gonna leave some of my stuff here with you. I wrote my number in my copy of Leaves of Grass so you can call me on the phone."</p><p>"I don't have any money in my account to make calls." Louis shrugged, biting his lip. Making excuses for when Harry wouldn't answer or when he wouldn't call.</p><p>"I'll put money in the moment I get out, ok?" Harry asked and Louis bit his lip, "I'd leave you my contraband phone but I wouldn't want you to get caught with it. I need you out as soon as possible."</p><p>"You don't have to put money in or leave a phone or whatever." Louis shook his head; he'd already taken enough from the other man. He didn't have to pretend like this was something better than any other prison romance.</p><p>"Don't make this weird, baby." Harry stopped again in front of Louis cradling his face, "I'll put the money in and you'll call me, ok?"</p><p>"Ok." Louis nodded, rubbing his hands against his uniform uneasily.</p><p>Harry's face fell and he frowned but he wasn't going to push it, "Also I've made sure no one will supply you."</p><p>"What?" Louis looked up, shocked, "I'm clean, H."</p><p>"I know you are but if you get an itch you can't get rid of I made sure no one would supply you." Harry nodded a little uneasy as Louis looked down at his feet, that's all he'll ever be to Harry: an addict.</p><p>"Ok." Louis shuffled over to his bed, shoulders hunched in defeat.</p><p>"I'm just trying to protect you." Harry kneeled in front of Louis, ducking his head to meet Louis' eyes, "I just want to keep you safe."</p><p>"What're you gonna do if I do find a way?" Louis' felt his voice shake, "Climb back in here and spank me?"</p><p>"No." Harry gripped Louis' chin, forcing his eyes up, "But I will have your plug killed." Louis flinched at his tone, he meant it.</p><p>The smaller boy tried not to think too hard about Harry's power in this place, but the thought that he could get someone killed from the outside made the idea unavoidable. Dark images making their way into his brain, Harry was dangerous.</p><p>"Now kiss daddy goodbye." Harry came to full height on his knees nudging Louis' nose with his own. Louis pursed his lips before leaning forward and pressing his to Harry's. The taller man kept the kiss soft, lips dancing together one final time.</p><p>Harry worked a large hand into Louis' hair, before pulling back completely, just staring at the boy in front of him. Everything in Harry told him to tell his little cellmate that he loved him, but Louis didn't need that. The pressure of saying it too soon of committing too soon could tear them apart. </p><p>Commitment to someone like Louis must feel like a cage but Harry would teach him it was more like a cocoon, safe and transformative.</p><p>Harry would make sure that Louis was safe, both with and without him.</p><p> </p><p>A week went by and Louis was alone and itching for it but no one was selling, he stared into the book Harry gave him night after night. The number so ingrained in his memory he actually dreamt about the digits dancing over his head. But he didn't call.</p><p>Two weeks after Harry's sudden departure a much bigger man bumped his shoulder on the way to the mess. Louis tried to scurry away but he grabbed his arm a little too hard, "Did you just bump me?"</p><p>Louis shook his head surprised, almost everyone ignored him nowadays, he figured Harry had threatened them all. But the bigger man looked around suspiciously before palming Louis a cell phone, old and bricklike but a phone nonetheless. Louis looked dumbly to the device in his hand before the man shoved the other boy back and mumbled, "Stay out of my way."</p><p>Later than night Louis heard the buzz from under his mattress and slowly pulled it out. On the screen the saved contact name read, 'Louis, pick up the phone' and the listed number was one Louis knew: it was Harry. The boy just watched it vibrate in his hand until it went black and he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.</p><p>Why couldn't he just answer the goddamn phone. Why couldn't he call Harry? Maybe the answer lay in the fact that the last person who paid him attention like this fucked him up so bad he ended up in prison? Or maybe it's because no one had ever paid him attention like this and it felt wrong to take it all? Like a greedy little kid taking every last cookie from the cookie jar when he knew he didn't deserve any of it.</p><p>Louis jumped when the phone rang again, the same contact. He made an impulse decision quickly striding to the toilet and dropping it in, watching the screen blink a few times and then die. He flushed but that just caused the thing to overflow and Louis cried as he tried to fix it. The night guard finally noticed once Louis' shoes were soaked but at least it was gone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>The police station was too cold and he didn't like the way people were staring at him. The police said he had coke on him when they stopped him randomly on the streets. But he didn't. He never brought his drugs to work.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Tomlinson, you made bail." Louis jumped from his seat in the cell and walked to the door. He expected to see Olivia waiting for him because that's who he called but instead he was met with the Judge.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The man was graying already at only fifty five and he sat with a small pudge like a grandpa waiting at the mall. He rose when he saw his daughter's boyfriend and nodded for him to follow.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"We're going to have a little talk, son."</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Not even a month after Harry left, the same shifty guard that announced Harry's departure came bearing the same message, "Tomlinson, you're out."</p><p>"What?" Louis' head whipped up confused, "I still have four months?"</p><p>"You're being released for good behavior and overcrowding." The guard almost seemed bored, "Pack your shit."</p><p>Louis gulped and dragged his feet packing his things and a few of Harry's, specifically the book with his number. He fully expected this was all Harry's doing, that he orchestrated his early release and he'll be right outside the doors waiting for him.</p><p>When he got to processing the lady at the desk handed him his personal items including a check. Louis looked over the check and shook his head, made out from the federal government to Louis, "What is this?"</p><p>"That's your cashout for your commissary account." The lady nodded and Louis' jaw dropped, there's no way he had almost five grand in his account.</p><p>"Are you sure?" Louis knew not to look a gift horse in the mouth, but he couldn't afford to pay this back when they realized it was a mistake.</p><p>"Yeah, if you look on the back you can see a receipt of the deposits." When he flipped it over, he saw that this amount had been left in incriminates over the past month. The first on the day of Harry's release. So, Louis took the check and his things and held his breath as he took his first steps of freedom. He looked around suspiciously and when Harry wasn't there he actually felt a little twinge of disappointment before he felt relief.</p><p>He'd start his life new. It wouldn't be easy, but it would be his, not Olivia's and not Harry's. It would be Louis'.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rent was so expensive in the city Louis could only find a shithole studio apartment, his check only paying for three months rent. Since he paid first and last, all that was left was next month, so he needed to find a job quick.</p><p>The first few nights in his empty apartment were sad, so sad he found himself wanting to cut the edge, as Harry would say. He wanted to use or be used but that wasn't on the table.</p><p>When the fourth day of endless job searches ended in disappointment, like all the ones proceeding it, he wanted to cry. Apparently places don't like to hire degreeless felons.</p><p>He paused on his fifth lap around his shitty apartment, just a mattress on the floor. He remembered Harry saying something about a hobby, Louis remembered something about running. That was a cheap enough hobby, he had sneakers. They were old and had almost no support but they'd do. So, he ran, and he ran until he was six blocks away, panting in front of a church.</p><p>His eye caught the sign on a bulletin board as he gasped air into his unathletic lungs, it read, "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."</p><p>"Hey." Louis jumped as a voice came from over his shoulder, it belonged to a much taller and skinnier man.</p><p>"Oh hi." Louis' breath was still a little rough, his voice too high pitch and jumpy, "I was just reading the sign."</p><p>"That's ok." The man smiled gently nodding to the poster, "Are you here for NA?"</p><p>"NA?" Louis asked, glancing at the church entrance with a few people filing in.</p><p>"Narcotics Anonymous." He nodded to the poster again, "That's the serenity prayer. Big thing for us on the road to recovery."</p><p>"Oh." Louis shrugged, "Umm no. I was just running, and I happened to stop here."</p><p>"Oh, ok sorry. I don't mean to assume anything." The man laughed, "I'm Nick by the way."</p><p>"Louis." The shorter man nodded, shaking his hand, "So you go to the meetings and everything?"</p><p>"Yup." Nick grinned a little wider, winking and adding, "I run them."</p><p>"Oh cool." Louis kicked a rock out from under him, "I was actually um... an addict too."</p><p>"Yeah?" The man had a gentle way about him, it made Louis lower his walls, "How long have you been clean?"</p><p>"Almost three months now." Louis bit his lip, nodding towards the church, "Never done this shit before. Does it work?"</p><p>"Yeah, it does if you're honest with yourself and willing to change. Would you like to come?"</p><p>"I don't know." Louis looked down to his clothes, just a pair of gym shorts from high school and a sweat stained tee shirt, "I'm not really in the proper attire."</p><p>"There's no such thing as inappropriate attire for NA." The man placed a gentle hand on Louis' back, "Come give it a try and if you stay through the whole thing, I'll even buy you some pie from this dinner down the street."</p><p>Louis looked anxiously between the door, the man in front of him, and the way he came before nodding. What else did he have to lose? He'd either go home and pace all night or sit in a church and listen to some people complain about their problems.</p><p> </p><p>Louis found that NA wasn't bad, it kept him distracted and it gave him somewhere to go. His first night turned into an everyday habit, sitting in the back and breathing in shitty coffee. Nick was a good man, he seemed to always be there when Louis was and even offered to be his sponsor. Not that Louis ever had much to say. Simply having somewhere to go, someone to talk to, was good enough for him.</p><p>Good enough reason to stay clean.</p><p>Louis' daily walk to the church brought him past a club, a copper sign read 'Grand Central'. The windows in the front were blinded out with band and brand stickers, it looked like a punk rock sort of place. Dingy but fun.</p><p>It was almost three fifteen in the afternoon on a Monday when he saw the sign outside. Stating open interviews for a bartender position between one and three.</p><p>He knew it was past three, and when he looked to his cheap jeans and baggy sweatshirt, he sighed. But he didn't have anything to lose and he needed a job so he went in. The door gave way to a ramp that spilled into an open room and Louis' jaw dropped.</p><p>This place was nice, nicer than the door made it seem. It reminded him of a speakeasy Olivia dragged him to back in college, crappy on the outside, twenty-dollar cocktails on the inside.</p><p>Louis was too busy looking around in awe that he didn't notice a man about his height behind the bar, "Can I help you?"</p><p>The smaller man jumped a little, eyes searching out the bottle blonde man with an Irish accent and a clipboard behind the bar, "Umm yeah, I saw your sign outside. Are you still doing interviews?"</p><p>"We actually stopped about fifteen minutes ago." The man nodded apologetically, immediately going back to what he was doing.</p><p>"Oh ok." Louis nodded his head, stepping closer still, "Did you find someone?"</p><p>The man looked up again surprised to find Louis still there. Upon a second inspection the man sighed and nodded for Louis to come closer, "We had a couple good applicants. What's your name?"</p><p>"Louis." The boy rushed forward sticking out his hand for a shake, "I'm looking for a job and I live in the neighborhood."</p><p>"Nice to meet ya, Louis." The man smiled, "I'm Niall, I'm the manager here at the club. Do you have experience?"</p><p>"Umm nothing formal." Louis explained biting his lip, "But I learn quickly and I get along with everyone. Also I'm willing to work whenever. I'll always show up and I won't complain."</p><p>Niall's grin widened, Louis was eager but in a cute way, "Won't complain, huh? That'd be nice for once. Where was your last job?"</p><p>"It was at a starbucks."</p><p>"Would your manager give you a reference?" He asked.</p><p>"Maybe. I worked there almost four years ago now so she might not remember me." Louis explained, "But I could give you a number."</p><p>"A four-year work gap?" The man raised his eyebrows, "Why's that."</p><p>Louis gulped ready for the letdown, "I was in prison until recently." This is when he gets that pitiful face and the 'I'm sorry'.</p><p>"Oh." Niall didn't sound discouraged, "You're a felon?"</p><p>Louis blushed, "Yeah."</p><p>"Well we're actually part of a program the federal government has." Niall explained, looking Louis over with interested eyes, "We get a tax break for hiring felons."</p><p>"Really?" Louis asked, eyes wide, "So do you think you'll hire me?"</p><p>"What were you in for?"</p><p>"Possession of a controlled substance." Louis' next words tumble out quickly, "But I'm sober now."</p><p>"You in NA?"</p><p>And Louis nodded, "Yeah just joined when I got out. I've got a sponsor and everything."</p><p>"Good." His smile was genuine, "I've been clean for almost three years now so I believe in second and third chances."</p><p>Louis grinned a little too excited, "I won't need a third chance, promise."</p><p>Niall chuckled, "Ok, one last question. How do you feel about revealing outfits?"</p><p> </p><p>And suddenly Louis had a job! He worked nights four days a week and he made really decent money. Enough to stay in his shit hole apartment, enough to furnish it a little. His uniform consisted of short shorts and a tight top but he mostly stayed behind the bar so no one really got a chance to grab his ass.</p><p>The tips were good, and he knew to keep his nose down and not get involved in the bickering between the bottle girls. Most of the bar's patron's carried themselves in a way that anyone could assume they had money. They liked to shower the bottle girls with tips but occasionally he'd get a older man with a taste for what Louis had and that'd set him up for a month. One man tipped Louis in hundred dollar bills like they were singles.</p><p>Almost three months in during setup, Louis was cutting lemon slices when he heard Niall appear in the VIP mezzanine, "Louis! A word upstairs, please."</p><p>The boy gulped looking over to Raymond, the other bar boy who shrugged. Everyone knew that the workers were not allowed upstairs. The ones who were called up there were usually fired and Niall was a very lighthearted man so the fact that he was so cold just now didn't paint a good picture.</p><p>But Louis wiped his sweaty palms across his sweatshirt and made his way up the stairs. The hallway had a few doors but only one was open so he assumed that was the one he'd been summoned to. He stopped in the doorway, watching Niall already staring back at his desk.</p><p>"Sit." Niall nodded to a single chair across from him, so Louis planted himself there, "Do you know what this is about?"</p><p>Louis shook his head, "No."</p><p>"I took a risk hiring you Louis." Niall shook his head, voice hard, "I thought you understood that." </p><p>"What did I do?"</p><p>"Did you steal from the club?"</p><p>"You mean the food?" Louis asked, "I thought you said it was ok if I took some of the stuff that was about to expire?"</p><p>"No." Niall sighed, "Not the food. Money."</p><p>"Money?" Louis laughed at that, "Me?"</p><p>"Yes, did you take money from the register, the safe?"</p><p>"No!" Louis shook his head, "I would never steal from this place! You guys gave me a job when no one else would."</p><p>"Starting the day I told you the code for the safe money has slowly gone missing." Niall tilted his head, the Irishman completely serious, "Isn't that a little suspicious?"</p><p>Louis shook his head manically, "No! Niall, come on, if I was stealing from you wouldn't I live somewhere nicer? You've been to my apartment! That's not the apartment of someone embezzling."</p><p>Niall tilted his head, "You're the only one who could've done it."</p><p>"I didn't do it!" Louis can feel tears build behind his eyes. He didn't want to lose this job.</p><p>"Are you using again?" Niall asked, eyes tracking across Louis' face down to his arms, his sweatshirt blocking any possible trace of abuse.</p><p>"No! You can call my sponsor, Niall!" Louis felt his cheeks heat at the accusation, that nagging feeling building in the back of his mind telling him that was all people will ever see him as: an addict. Not trustworthy.</p><p>"Look, Louis I'm telling you that stealing from this club is bigger than just stealing from a business." Niall looked a little nervous, "Don't you ever wonder why there's so many offices up here? Or why so many wealthy people frequent a place like this in this neighborhood?"</p><p>Louis shrugged, "I-I-I don't know."</p><p>"This is a front for the mob." Niall explained, "When you steal from a front, you're stealing from them all."</p><p>Louis actually started crying now, "I didn't take any of your money. I swear."</p><p>"I want to believe you, Louis." Niall shook his head, "I really do but my boss and my bosses' boss are coming right now. If you have the money this is your last chance."</p><p>"I don't." Louis felt his pulse racing. Did he really make it through prison and an addiction to end like this? To die for a crime he didn't commit, at the hands of criminals. Then he heard the footsteps in the hall, the sound of expensive shoes on the hard floor. Louis found Niall's eyes and shook his head.</p><p>"This him?" Louis heard an unfamiliar voice from behind him.</p><p>"I don't know, Z." Niall's eyes trace the pair's trip into the room. One coming to stand by Niall, tall and dark. Louis' couldn't help but notice how handsome he was, or the way his hand lingered on Niall's waist.</p><p>"What do you mean you don't know?" The man shook his head, giving Niall a dark look.</p><p>"I mean if it's not him then its..." Niall started but Louis didn't internalize anymore because there leaning on Niall's desk was Harry. Typing furiously on a phone, he hadn't even taken a glance at Louis yet, but it was definitely him. Harry was handsome in prison but outside he was just about the most beautiful man Louis had ever seen. Dark curls glossy and healthy, a charcoal grey suit tailored to his body almost unfairly tight.</p><p>Louis' licked his lips, heart beating too fast in his chest. Why was Harry here?</p><p>"Well?" Suddenly the man from before was in front of him, Z, Niall had called him.</p><p>"W-w-what?" Louis asked, he missed the question, and the man looked furious that he had to repeat himself.</p><p>"I said..." But Z's words were interrupted by Harry coming to stand right in front of him, placing himself between his friend and Louis. Harry's perfect, pink lips were drawn open in surprise, phone left behind on the desk.</p><p>"What the hell, Styles?" The man asked but Harry had already wrapped a firm hand around Louis' chin, tilting it up just right. His hand just as hot and firm as Louis ached to remember most nights in his sleep. His dark green eyes glinted with pure shock.</p><p>"Are you using again?" Harry asked, no nonsense eyes searching Louis' face, and for the second time that day Louis had to defend his sobriety.</p><p>"No." Louis shook his head, but Harry's grip just tightened a flash of hurt flying across his face. Ever since he lost track of Louis, he'd blamed it on a relapse. In a sick way he hoped that Louis was high again and when he came to his senses, he'd find Harry.</p><p>Seeing him here, now, clear eyed and healthy, he was hurt, "Niall do you still have that instant test?"</p><p>Niall rifled through his desk before handing it to Harry and the man held it in front of Louis' face, "Take it."</p><p>Louis blushed, voice quiet, "Harry."</p><p>"Now, Louis." Harry growled, leaving no room for debate.</p><p>And the smaller boy's face hardens, "Do you want me to just pee myself here or can I go to the bathroom?"</p><p>Harry growled, hand jerking Louis' chin up a little more, leaning down until they were nose to nose, "Take the goddamn test, Louis."</p><p>He was pulled up and pushed towards the bathroom where he took almost a whole minute to work up the nerve to pee. The test covered a small array of drugs and he can tell he passed when none of the indicators turn a different color.</p><p>Louis left the bathroom silently showing Harry the test, the man didn't seem bothered that there's pee on the strip taking it and examining it closely. The smaller man noticed the way Niall and Z exchange looks behind Harry's back before he announced, "It's not him."</p><p>Louis huffed a small sigh of relief, finally someone on his side. Z spoke up first, "How can you be sure?"</p><p>Harry's eyes meet Louis', "I just know. You're dismissed, Louis." The boy didn't have to be told twice turning on his heel and booking it out of the office. He took the stairs two at a time before using the back exit to an alleyway beside the club. He braced himself on his knees breathing deep and settling breaths.</p><p>Ten minutes later found Louis more relaxed and on his third cigarette, watching people filter by on their way to the club. He knew he should be behind the bar right now, but he can't get his hand to stop shaking, thinking he'll just take a few more minutes to calm. Allow the nicotine to settle him.</p><p>He completely refused to let his mind wander to Harry or the fact that he was almost just... He wasn't sure but nothing good would have come from the dark eyed man deciding he had taken the money. His mind instantly going to all the horror stories you hear about the mafia dropping dead bodies in the river or breaking your kneecaps over a debt.</p><p>He definitely didn't want to think about Harry's role in all of this. Harry, his soft spoken lover who fucked him better than anyone had before. Harry who held such deep compassion for Louis when no one else would but who also held such darkness in his gaze when he thought Louis wasn't looking. His hand began to shake harder again, thinking about all of the things Harry could've done.</p><p>With his eyes on the alley's entrance he didn't notice someone else there until there was suddenly a firm body against his, a hand wrapping around his neck. Louis instantly struggled in the grip before Harry pressed firm lips against his cheek, "Stop."</p><p>And Louis did, of course it's Harry. His large ring clad fingers wrapped around Louis' throat, his firm and expensive suit against his front. Louis breathed out a centering breath before opening his eyes to find Harry already staring back, dark green eyes inspecting like they've done a million times before.</p><p>"Why didn't you call?" The man before him asked, fingers pressing a little firmer before lightening their hold. A demonstration of his nervousness, conscious or otherwise.</p><p>Louis shrugged, mumbling, "Lost your number."</p><p>Harry squinted before shaking his head, "Bullshit."</p><p>The smaller man's hands flew to Harry's wrist shoving his fingers from their place on his neck, voice bitter against his will, "Don't you have a mafia wife to get home to?"</p><p>Harry looked shocked before answering, "What? No."</p><p>"A girlfriend?" Louis shook his head, sucking on his cigarette to calm his nerves. The taller man was gorgeous and if he didn't have a wife or a girlfriend then he probably had multiple casual flings. Men like Harry don't stay single.</p><p>"Louis, I'm not married or dating." Harry held up his left hand and Louis grew distracted by the show, big and expensive looking rings gracing his knuckles, save for his ring finger. He briefly remembered all those time Harry pressed his fingers between his lips, the ghost of the feeling heavy on his tongue, "And I'm gay. I thought that was pretty obvious from our time together."</p><p>Louis shrugged again, feigning disinterest, "Gay for the stay maybe?"</p><p>"No, gay for life." Harry sounded exasperated, "What's with this attitude?"</p><p>"Attitude?" Louis scoffed, like he was a petulant child.</p><p>Harry's hand rose a lightning fast grip to Louis' chin, tight and controlled, "Yeah, the attitude." Louis rolled his eyes, he didn't know what possessed him to act this way, but he vaguely thought he might be angry at the other man, "Oh, do not roll your eyes at me, little boy."</p><p>"Or what?" Louis bit out between his clenched jaw, "You gonna leave me again?"</p><p>Harry sighed, something woeful, his anger dissipating in a second, "Is that what this is about? I had to leave but I wanted to be there for you. I called you!"</p><p>"This isn't about anything." Louis shook his head free from Harry's loosened grip, "Look, Harry, this isn't about you. It's about me."</p><p>"You could have called to say you didn't want me anymore?" Harry whispered, hands clenching at his sides. The unusual level of vulnerability didn't escape Louis' attention, feeling guilty for just a moment, "I wanted to make a life together and you just disappeared."</p><p>Louis bit his lip because Harry was right, if he really didn't want it then he should have ended it. But the way he felt about Harry wasn't as cut and dry as dating or not dating, he wanted Harry like he wanted his fix. The need crawled beneath his skin, burrowed its way into his bones, until it was too strong to ignore, "My sponsor says you shouldn't replace one addiction with another."</p><p>"You have a sponsor?" Harry asked, genuine interest blooming on his face, "You're in NA?"</p><p>"Yeah." Louis nodded, he felt small with Harry crowding him against the brick wall still, even though they weren't touching now. So, he dropped his cigarette and crushed it beneath his cheap shoe, something to focus on for just a minute.</p><p>"And they're helping you?" A feeling close to jealousy boiled in the taller man's stomach, in prison he was Louis' lifeline. He kept Louis sober and safe, distracted, "They help you cut the edge?"</p><p>Louis blushed at Harry's tone something dark underlying, "I'm not having sex with him if that's what you mean."</p><p>"No?" Harry quirked his lips, a little too happy at the admission, "Are you getting it from someone else?"</p><p>Louis thought for just a moment that even if he was, he would lie, because Harry seemed the jealous type, "No."</p><p>Harry hummed, licking his lips before brushing just his fingertips over Louis' arms up his shoulder, leaving goosebumps in their wake, "No? Why's that?" Harry knew he was being selfish, he wanted to hear Louis say that no one could fuck him like Harry. Hear him say that he didn't want anyone other than him.</p><p>But the smaller man just bit his lip and shrugged again, "My sponsor says I have to belong to myself before I can give myself to someone else."</p><p>Green eyes darken, his hand scraping up softly finding their way back to their favorite spot under his jaw, thumb edging on his lips, "Well, I don't think your sponsor knows how well I take care of you. How good I am to you."</p><p>Louis whined in his throat, he wanted Harry there was no doubt about it. His dick already half hard in his little shorts, but he didn't want to be owned again. So, his lips trembled, his voice raw, "Harry."</p><p>"What?" Harry ducked his head, lips brushing Louis' cheekbone down to his ear, "You don't want daddy to take care of you anymore?"</p><p>Louis' lips part with a soft pant at Harry's words, at his touch, the taller man wasted no time before pressing his fingers into Louis' mouth. The boy took them like he always did before, and Harry muffled a groan against Louis' warm skin. Louis jerked his hips forward seeking friction despite his better judgement, the larger man easily closing the gap between their groins. The pair grinding like old times, Louis' moans stifled by Harry's fingers.</p><p>He really thought he was going to let Harry fuck him against the brick wall, when the sound of a door opening stopped Louis before he can beg for it, "Louis? What the fuck Raymond is drowning in there!"</p><p>Louis went to turn his head but Harry was already gripping the other man's hair in his hand keeping him from looking, "Don't look at him. You look at me."</p><p>The blue-eyed boy whined around his fingers, before Harry turned to look at the other man, "He'll be in in a minute." Niall's wide eyes take in the pair, small and eager Louis, flushed with a senior ranked family member's fingers in his mouth. Harry growled at Niall and he nodded before disappearing,</p><p>When Harry looked back, he could almost lose it just looking at the way Louis' mouth stretched around his fingers, but Louis jerked his head free pulling his mouth off of Harry, "I should go."</p><p>"No baby." Harry shook his head, desperate in a way he'd never been for anyone else, "Please, you're hard, let me help you."</p><p>"Harry," Louis' voice broke, "I can't be owned again."</p><p>"I won't own you, baby boy." Harry promised, fingers drifting south to Louis' shorts, "I just want to make you feel good."</p><p>"Please, Harry." Louis finally felt tears pool from his eyes, "I don't want to relapse."</p><p>The man stilled his groping hand and pulled away, pressing his hands onto the wall beside Louis' head, "I'm sorry, Lou. I-I-I'm sorry."</p><p>"I don't have self-control and sex and drugs are such a slippery slope for me." Louis' lip wobbled, blue eyes too red and watery, "I need to stay clean, please."</p><p>Harry nodded and pulled Louis into a tight embrace, "Ok, ok. I won't do that again, I promise. Louis, I swear I just want what's best for you." Louis brushed his wet face against the other man's shoulder, "Please Louis, I won't do that again but please don't cut me out?" </p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>So, he didn't. He didn't lose his job and he didn't cut Harry out. Over the month since his reemergence in Louis' life, Harry found every opportunity to show up at the club, to check in. Most nights while Louis worked he felt the heat of Harry's eyes on him, the feeling sent goosebumps over his skin, leaving him wanting more.</p><p>As the manager, Niall didn't spend a lot of time on the floor on nights like tonight. Where the crowd wasn't too wild or large, just a steady Thursday. But Louis traced Niall's walk from the VIP mezzanine until he reached the bar.</p><p>He was wiping down the surface while his partner Raymond took a few orders, "Your man is upstairs and he's being unbearable."</p><p>"My man?" Louis asked, chancing the Irishman a look.</p><p>"Styles." Niall shook his head, "Makes me want to fucking kill myself. If I cover you for a bit will you go make him better?"</p><p>"How would I do that?" Louis asked, the pair were on speaking terms but there was too much sexual tension between them for anything real to be said.</p><p>"I don't know. Blow him?" Niall shrugged, "Or let him blow you. Whatever gets the stick out of his ass."</p><p>"We're not sleeping together."</p><p>"You're not?" The blonde asked in shock, "Could've fooled me every time he looks at you, I feel like I'm watching a porno."</p><p>Louis blushed, "We were sleeping together before but I'm trying to stay sober and I just can't."</p><p>"Huh ok, so, will you go see him or..." Niall asked again, and Louis was a little surprised he was being serious.</p><p>"If he's in such a shitty mood, do you really think he'll want to see me?"</p><p>"He always wants to see you." Niall rolled his eyes, "He hasn't spent this much time at the club since Liam made him run it a few years ago." So, Louis agreed, finding himself knocking at the only office partially open. Right next to Niall's.</p><p>Harry's voice was gruff with frustration when he yelled out, "Niall I swear to God if you're here to complain about Zayn not dicking you enough than I will fucking shoot—" His words stopped short when he swung the door open and found Louis there instead.</p><p>"Hey." His tone was different in an instant, soft and worried, "Everything ok?"</p><p>"Yeah." Louis bit his lip, "Can I come in?"</p><p>"Yeah, of course." Harry stepped to the side and Louis walked past him looking around the office, just a plain looking thing with a singular couch pressed against the wall and nice looking desk in front of a small window. He couldn't help but feel that familiar hot gaze admiring his legs in his little black shorts as he had his back to the taller man.</p><p>"Niall said you were in a mood." Louis asked, sitting in the office chair still warm from Harry, eyeing the curly haired man still frozen near the door.</p><p>Harry rolled his eyes, "Niall can be annoying. I'm not in a mood."</p><p>"No?" Louis questioned, "You looked stressed when you came in."</p><p>"You noticed me?" Harry smiled and Louis blushed before nodding. Louis felt like a middle schooler talking to their first crush, just with the way Harry was making eyes at him.</p><p>"Of course." Louis rested his chin on his knees when Harry came around the desk leaning against the edge in front of Louis.</p><p>"I've just been dealing with some things lately and I'm tired."</p><p>"You can talk to me about it." Louis encouraged, "If you want."</p><p>"Yeah?" Harry seemed genuinely unsure, "I don't want to take up any more space in your mind."</p><p>"Harry." Louis reached a hand to rest over the other man's, green eyes lingering too long on the spot where they met, "I think you're my best friend."</p><p>"Yeah?"</p><p>"Yeah. I think you might be one of the only people in the world that care about me." Louis explained, "I wasn't sure how real that was until the other night."</p><p>"I do care." Harry nodded reverently, "I care about you so much more than I can bear at times."</p><p>"I care about you too." The smaller man nodded, "And I want you to feel safe with me. To tell me anything, even if were not sleeping together."</p><p>"I'd like that." Harry whispered, the smile that jumped onto his face left Louis' reeling with it's brilliance. Harry's fingers jumped with the compulsion to touch Louis' skin, to feel his warmth. Since that night in the alley, Harry hadn't chanced a brush, however small. Just being in the smaller man's presence would have to be enough.</p><p>"So..." Louis smiled retreating his hand, "What's got you all stressed out?"</p><p>"It's this money that's gone missing." Harry nodded down at the paperwork on his desk, and the computer opened to security footage.</p><p>"Is it that much?" Louis asked, eyeing the confusing paper in front of him. Really just a list of numbers and values he couldn't decipher.</p><p>"It's only thirty grand but the amount is not the point..."</p><p>"Only thirty grand?" Louis balked, "I don't know what I'd do with that money."</p><p>"Do you need something?" Harry tilted his head, searching Louis' face, "Can I help you?"</p><p>"No. You've already done enough."</p><p>"What's that supposed to mean?" Harry pouted, a little offended.</p><p>"Nothing bad, H." Louis grinned, "I just mean I used the cashout from the commissary money you put in my account to get my apartment."</p><p>"You did?" Harry's smile was genuine, like he derived pleasure from providing for Louis.</p><p>"yeah..." Louis blushed, looking away before nodding back to the screen, "If it's not about the money then what's it about?"</p><p>"If it's a rival stealing from us then we look weak, that we can't find them or that we haven't noticed." Harry explained, showing the other man sheets of papers marked red, "It sets a bad precedent."</p><p>"I could see that." Louis bit his lip, eyes tracking the security feed in front of him, "Do you have any suspects."</p><p>"Well first we didn't even notice because the nightly deposits matched what was in the safe but then Niall noticed the amount of inventory we were going through didn't match what was being made. Honestly it was a small blimp in the... " Harry paused eyeing Louis before choosing his words wisely, "...the business' radar. But then it added up. They could be siphoning cash from of card reader or even just stealing it before the end of the night." Harry showed Louis a video of himself walking the deposit from the bar to the safe, "On this day three grand went missing. That's why Niall thought it was you."</p><p>"Huh," Louis tilted his head, "I didn't even count that night. I just ran it back."</p><p>"Yeah." The taller man sighed, leaning over Louis to show a sped-up version of the night, "It just doesn't look like anyone's taking it and I haven't found any discrepancies in our electronic accounts."</p><p>"What about Raymond?" Louis asked, thinking to the only other person who could count the money, "I mean I don't think he would but did you guys look at him?"</p><p>"He's my boss' cousin." Harry shook his head, "He's already been disowned twice, he wouldn't risk another slip up."</p><p>"What would happen?"</p><p>"Nothing good." Harry's tone and his soft gaze let Louis know he was trying to not scare him, so he doesn't push. But his mind wandered to that dark place again.</p><p>"I'm sorry, Harry. I'll keep my eyes peeled for anything suspicious."</p><p>"Thanks, babe." Harry paused, flinching just a little, "Sorry, it just slipped out."</p><p>"It's really ok, H. I promise." Louis sighed before glancing up at Harry through his eyelashes, "it feels like you've been walking on eggshells around me lately, but you don't have to. I'm not so fragile that I'd be shattered with just a nickname or a brush of your hand."</p><p>The other man seemed to think about this for a long moment, green eyes raking over Louis' face, "I don't want to leave even a scratch."</p><p>The smaller boy quirked his lips at how utterly serious the other man was before leaning forward, "I wouldn't mind if you left a mark."</p><p> </p><p>Weeks go by in a flash, and Harry weaseled his way back into Louis' life. He started joining him for a daily jog, Louis' sobriety hobby. He brought him coffee at the club and texted him out of worry if he ran even a minute late. They were friends and Louis didn't say that because he was lacking a better term for people that used to have sex and still want to. </p><p>No, Harry was his friend. He listened to Louis, gave him advice and challenged him to be better. Louis would even dare say that he'd never had a friend as good as Harry.</p><p>At eight in the morning on his day off, Louis was sprawled across his bed, the sun not even forcing its way through his thin shades yet when he heard the knock. He lifted his head in panic at the noise. He thought his rent might be late but it was still the middle of the month. No one else knocked on his door but his landlord, so he tiptoed to the door, peeking through the peephole then pressed his forehead against the metal with a sigh, it was Harry, "I can see your shadow under the door, Louis. Are you hiding from me?"</p><p>"No." Louis rolled his eyes pulling the door open, "I was just asleep. You scared me."</p><p>Harry's eyes widened, roaming up Louis' body taking in his slim bare chest and boxer briefs, "I can see that."</p><p>The shorter man blushed, quickly finding his favorite oversized sweatshirt, "You've never been up here! How did you know which apartment was mine?"</p><p>"I asked Niall." Harry nodded easily, then held up a plastic bag, "I saw your apartment building and thought maybe I could make a small improvement."</p><p>"What is it?" Louis peeked into the bag seeing something metal and some tools.</p><p>"A new lock, it's supposed to be super safe." Harry nodded to Louis' door which was a sturdy metal but the lock component barely kept the door closed.</p><p>"Oh." Louis agreed, voice overly soft when he continued, "That's very thoughtful of you, thank you."</p><p>"You're welcome. May I come in?" Harry peeked around Louis, eyeing the small apartment. Classic city living, the bedroom and the kitchenette in the larger room with one door leading to a criminally small bathroom.</p><p>"Oh yeah." Louis' stepped aside, sending the door wide open, he rubbed the back of his head anxiously before muttering, "It's not much but..."</p><p>Harry scoffed to interrupt Louis before he could say something too cliché, "You should have seen my first apartment, back before Liam got me clean I didn't even have a mattress let alone a bed frame. That was when I wasn't straight up homeless."</p><p>Louis looked Harry over in his lulu lemon joggers, Balenciaga windbreaker, and Nike sneakers. You wouldn't know for a second Harry was a recovered addict or that he didn't come from money. And Louis knew money, Olivia dragged him to so many family events that he could smell the type in his sleep.</p><p>"Whose Liam?" Louis asked, he'd heard the name a few times but he didn't know anything about him. He leant against his bed while Harry started loosening the old lock from its spot on the door jam, "And do you want coffee or tea?"</p><p>"Coffee would be nice." Harry shot Louis a soft smile, eyes fixed on his task, "And Liam is my boss. It's actually his family I work for."</p><p>"Oh." Louis pursed his lips thinking over his next words, Harry worked for a crime family that much was clear and historically Harry didn't like talking about it, "I thought Zayn was your boss."</p><p>"He wishes." Harry chuckled, pulling the parts free from their holds on the door, "I'm his boss."</p><p>"Are he and Niall..." Louis raised his eyebrows from his new spot near the counter next to the coffee maker.</p><p>"You figured that out, huh?" Harry nodded, "Or did Niall tell you?"</p><p>"He didn't tell me." Louis blushed, "It just kind of obvious."</p><p>"Yeah, except Niall's fucking Liam, too." Harry shook his head with a chuckle, not sure how Niall dug his way into the family.</p><p>"No!" Louis was actually a little shocked, he didn't know Liam but he couldn't imagine he was more handsome than Zayn, maybe he was more wealthy? "Why not you too? Get the trifecta."</p><p>"He's not my type." Harry pinned Louis to the counter with a look that says, 'you are'.</p><p>"Do they know?" Louis tried to change the subject, his face hot as he turned his back to Harry. Making himself busy by fussing with the coffee machine.</p><p>"Zayn knows but Liam doesn't, or at least he hasn't said or done anything about it. On the other hand, Zayn and Liam have been fucking for years but they pretend like I don't know. They act like it's a big secret." Harry's hands stopped their work, looking to Louis who moved to sit on the counter, all tan legs and soft morning hair, "But I don't know how either couldn't know about Niall. I would."</p><p>"You would know?" Louis gave him a look, somewhere close to skeptical.</p><p>"I would know." Harry eyed him, before continuing his work and if Louis didn't know better, he'd say that was a threat.</p><p>"I'm not sleeping with anyone still." Louis' face heated at the admission.</p><p>"Oh, I know." Harry's tone and the dip of his eyes over Louis' body, made him squirm a little on the counter. He had no control when Harry was looking at him like that.</p><p>"And you?" The words slipped from Louis' mouth before he realized he didn't want to know the answer.</p><p>"Would that make you angry?" Harry smiled, he already knew the answer just by the flash of Louis' eyes, "Jealous?"</p><p>"You can if you want." Louis shrugged, "It wouldn't be right of me to string you along."</p><p>Harry paused his work on the door, before strolling over to Louis' spot on the counter. The smaller man straightened a little when Harry was in front of him, Harry's hand resting solid beside Louis' thigh. He thought for just a moment he could feel a phantom brush, "Do you want me to?"</p><p>Louis' eyes dart to Harry's lips, so full and kissable. He shook his head 'no' but gulped and said, "I don't know."</p><p>"Come on, Louis." Harry leaned in closer, their lips just within striking distance. His breath dancing on Louis' mouth, "Do you want me to fuck other people?"</p><p>"No." The word is just a breath and Louis' too embarrassed to keep his gaze locked so he looked away.</p><p>But Harry's hand rose to cup Louis' face, bringing blue eyes back to green, "Good. I don't want to see anyone else."</p><p>A sick little smile worked its way onto Louis' face, "Good."</p><p>"Now that that's settled, is this my coffee?" Harry nodded to the mug Louis had absentmindedly prepared while watching the other man work.</p><p> </p><p>At his shift that Friday Louis didn't see Harry come in, but the bar was busier than ever, alive with hot bodies and fast music. Louis didn't even have a second to breathe between orders.</p><p>Louis caught the eye of a man at the bar trying to wave him down for a drink, he was a regular and a good tipper so Louis nodded his way. On his way Raymond pressed his lips to Louis' ear and he vaguely heard someone at the bar crudely yell, "Yeah! Why don't you two kiss."</p><p>The man threw a few singles their way and Louis glared at him, he was a bartender not a stripper. This distraction made him miss Raymond's words before he could ask, he felt the other man palm him something. His hand wrapped around the small plastic eight ball and everything froze. He knew without looking, knew within a millisecond exactly what this was.</p><p>"W-w-w-what?" Louis stammered out but gripped the terrible little thing so hard he felt his finger nails bite into his skin.</p><p>"It's a tip." Raymond's lips brushed his ear again, so wrong, causing a shiver to run up Louis' spine. Raymond nodded to a man who was retreating from the bar. Someone tipped them in drugs?</p><p>Louis knew he should reject it. Push it back into Raymond's hand and tell him he didn't want it, but he didn't. He stood still for a long moment, a ringing in his ear canceling out the resounding bass of the club. All he could sense was the thing he wrapped his hand around, his breath caught in his lungs.</p><p>Ray shoved him playfully towards the good tipper and Louis nodded shoving his tip into his pocket with shaky hands. He made the good tipper's drink, dropping it twice and then making the next drink and the one after that on autopilot. He wasn't even sure some of these people paid.</p><p>But suddenly it was last call and Louis' hands hadn't stopped shaking and his mind was buzzing with need, his skin crawling like he was one day clean not almost a year. He knew that he should call Nick, but his sponsor just had a baby and he didn't want to cause him trouble.</p><p>His mind jumped around like he was already high, eyes flashing to the mess he had to pick up and then to the pocket where he knew his next fix was. He didn't think through his plans too much before he muttered, "Do you mind if I take a little break?"</p><p>Raymond sent him an easy smile, "Yeah, no worries. Take all the time you need."</p><p>Louis didn't linger on the way the other man watched him make his way to the bathroom or the way his eyes flicked between the smaller man's pocket and his face. No, he was a few steps away from the employee bathroom, a few steps away from a relapse when a new thought occurred to him.</p><p>Harry.</p><p>Harry had been here for almost all of his shifts since he reappeared in his life. Harry got him clean the first time. Harry kept him clean when he was weakest. Harry needed to be here right now. So, Louis detoured up the stairs to the VIP mezzanine and through the managers only door.</p><p> </p><p>"So this is what you've been up to these past few months?" Liam's voice startled Harry and Niall out of their conversation.</p><p>"Liam!" Harry rose and clapped the other man on the back, "I didn't know you and Zayn were coming tonight!"</p><p>"We thought we'd drop by and see what my right hand man's been up to." Liam looked between the two something suspicious in his eyes. Harry looked between the three before realization dawned on him.</p><p>Liam thought he was fucking Niall. Harry had been spending so much time here there was no way either man wouldn't grow suspicious. Before Louis, Harry hadn't stepped foot in this club since proving himself worthy of higher up work, now he was spending hours a week here. Honestly, Harry would be suspicious too, "Let me get you two a drink?"</p><p>"I'll have a scotch." Zayn brushed past Liam to settle onto the couch beside Niall. Effectively taking Harry's seat. With his back turned he rolled his eyes, those two can be so obvious sometimes.</p><p>"So, this is what you do?" Liam glanced around, sharp eyes looking for any clues that the pair were hooking up.</p><p>"Well I do some of my paper work here." Harry shrugged, "And I've been looking into the missing money."</p><p>"And he's been stalking—" Niall started shooting Zayn a look.</p><p>"Niall." Harry's tone was hard in an instant, eyes cutting to the Irishman with a little too much heat. It's not that he didn't trust the two men with his own life but Louis was different. Louis was pure and exclusively Harry's. He didn't belong in this life and having him meet his two closest friends and colleagues would just cement his place here.</p><p>Liam looked between the two, "What's this?"</p><p>Niall kept his eyes on Harry before shrugging, "Never mind."</p><p>"No, I think we'd all like to know." Zayn looked to Liam who nodded in agreement.</p><p>"Who has been taking up all your time, Harry." Liam's eyes narrowed threateningly, in a similar way a brother would when another sibling steals their toy. No real heat but still deeply interested.</p><p>Harry swallowed hard, because now he was stuck in a corner. He won't lie and he has no reason to. His boys would do Louis no harm, they'd like him even. But he wanted Louis to himself for just a little bit longer.</p><p>"Niall?" Liam prompted.</p><p>The Irishman sighed, "I was just making a joke."</p><p>"A joke?" Liam face hardened and he heaved one final sigh before asking, "Are you two fucking?"</p><p>Niall was taken by surprise, spitting his drink out and coughing up a lung, "What the hell? No! Are you fucking kidding me? Definitely not my type, Li. Not to mention Louis would kill me."</p><p>"Louis?" Zayn asked, understanding dawning on his face. Zayn had met Louis for just a second the other night, but he connected the dots. Harry wasn't trying to get with Niall, he was trying to sleep with that little bartender.</p><p>"Who's Louis?" Liam looked between the three, "What am I missing here?"</p><p>Suddenly the door, pushed open and a fifth person joined the room, wearing a bar boy uniform. Liam was about to yell at the intruder, none of the workers downstairs should be in this area, when Niall interrupted.</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this ones a bit shorter than the others because it's really like two parts with the next one. Hopefully I'll have that one up tomorrow!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hallway was dark save for the one door cracked open, Harry's office at the end of the hall. He didn't knock just pushed through the door to find four men sitting around a pleasant looking office: Zayn, Harry, Niall, and someone he didn't know. Someone he didn't have the time to care about. He needed Harry.</p><p>The new man looked shocked and furious, opening his mouth to say something before he was cut off.</p><p>"Louis! Are you guys already done down there?" Niall asked, voice a little too loud, and Louis looked at his manager for a long moment before shaking his head, too manically. His lips trembled with the weight of oncoming sobs, when he met Harry's eyes.</p><p>"H-h-harry?"</p><p>The man was already tense but seeing the tears gathering in Louis' eyes he walked swiftly across the office until he was taking up all of the smaller man's view. Until all that was left was Harry and Louis, "What's wrong, baby?"</p><p>Louis wanted to give Harry his tip, wanted to throw it at him and yell. Scream that he was tempted but he didn't relapse. That he was strong enough, but he wasn't. His fingers shook at his side, gripping his tip like it was a lifeline before mumbling, "I need your help."</p><p>Harry's eyes tracked Louis' stare to the other boy's hand easily grabbing his fist and prying it open. His eyes flash with understanding, taking it away from him. Louis finally able to let out a full breath. He grabbed Louis' face, looking between his eyes for a sign that he was high, "Did you use?"</p><p>"No." Louis' voice shook, "No but I-I-I..."</p><p>Harry nodded, excusing the pair throwing the boys one last look before pulling Louis from the office and into the one he thought may be Niall's. He sat Louis down onto a sofa before dropping the tip onto the desk, "It's ok, Louis."</p><p>"I'm so fucking weak, Harry." Louis pulled at his hair, sobbing into his other hand.</p><p>"No no." Harry rushed to sit beside the other boy, brushing gentle fingers over Louis' back, "You are so strong. Look at you not even a year sober and resisting the urge."</p><p>"I didn't though!" Louis wanted to scream at Harry, "I couldn't do it without you. I couldn't get clean without you. Couldn't stay clean without you. All I'm ever gonna be is some stupid junkie."</p><p>"Louis." Harry's voice shook with something sad, hands uncertainly taking Louis' face, "You are not some stupid junkie. You are so much more than what the people and the drugs in your life made you."</p><p>His body shook to the point where Louis' felt like he couldn't keep the air in his lungs. Like it entered his mouth and got stuck somewhere in his throat. His face began to tingle and panic settled in his chest. He dug his fingers into his thigh, his eyes jumping around the room before settling back on the man in front of him. He knew what he needed, "Harry, I need help."</p><p>"Anything, Lou." Harry nodded, eyes jumping around Louis' face and fingers brushing the heated skin of Louis' cheek, "I'll do anything."</p><p>"I need you to hold me down." Louis locked eyes with Harry hoping he'd understand. It was so much more than the need for the taller man to get on top of him, pressing weight onto Louis' bones. No, he needed Harry to drag him down from whatever heightened and terrible space he'd worked himself up to, "Please."</p><p>"Yeah." Harry's face revealed just a moment of shock before he began to pet heavily over Louis shoulders down his neck. But that wasn't enough.</p><p>Louis took control, shaky hands bringing Harry's own to his neck pulling the large man down to press harder. Now laying on his back across the couch, "Louis, baby."</p><p>Harry's torso stretched so that he could rest comfortably with one hand on Louis' neck and the other pressing his chest down. The shudder that shook down Louis' spine settled his nerves just a little, "Tell me?"</p><p>"Tell you what?" Harry whispered, caressing his hand that wasn't firm on Louis' neck softly up the man's chest and through his soft short hair, "What do you need?"</p><p>"Tell me what I am?" Louis whimpered, voice shuddering, with those big eyes. Harry knew he could do this. The man he had been for Louis these past few months wasn't the man Louis needed now. He didn't need nice talks and sweet words; he needed an instant where he didn't exist outside whatever he became under Harry.</p><p>"You are a good boy." Harry's hand tightened around Louis' throat and the boy gasped in pleasure, his dick didn't get hard, but he was satiated, "hmmm? Whose good boy are you, Lou?"</p><p>"Daddy's." Blue eyes fluttered shut and the larger man could feel where Louis' pulse actually slowed against his thumb.</p><p>"You are good and worthy, Louis." The pair laid there in silence for a beat, "Good, worthy, and sober."</p><p>Louis' eyes flashed open and nodded just a fraction of a second, "m' Good." It took Louis another fifteen minutes of slow breathing and Harry's warm body against his before he reopened his eyes. Green eyes fixed on where his hand worked a slow circle onto Louis' stomach, "I'm sorry."</p><p>Harry's eyes flashed up to Louis' and he begrudgingly pulled away, to give Louis some space, "Don't be sorry."</p><p>"I just freaked out, I guess." Louis mumbled, his hands still shaking just a little as he wiped away tears, "I shouldn't have done that."</p><p>"No." Harry risked a touch, brushing fingers through the hair at the nape of Louis' neck, "I'm glad you came to me."</p><p>"I meant the thing..." Louis blushed, couldn't even look up, "With the choking. I'm just leading you on and it's not right."</p><p>"Hey no no." Harry's grip tightened just a little where it rested on Louis' neck, the boy shuddered with a small gasp, "If that's what you need that's ok, I want you for more than just sex, Louis. I want to help you."</p><p>The smaller boy's eyes met Harry's for a moment before biting his lip, "I don't know."</p><p>Harry felt the need to reel the boy back in before he was too far gone, "It doesn't have to be sexual, Louis. You can feel the need to be dominated outside the bedroom. The need for control to be taken away. I can give that to you. I can make you a safe space."</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes, slipping out from under Harry and standing quickly, "It's fucking weird! I shouldn't need to feel your hands on my body just as bad as I need my fix. It's not right. Even when you were gone I could feel you still. I fucking cried when I lost the bruises you left behind. I wanted them back!"</p><p>"I know it's scary, Louis but I—" Harry paused, he can't say what he wants, not with Louis like this, "I feel the same way. That's why I looked for you. I wanted you back so bad, because I need you too."</p><p>"You need me?" Louis scoffed, "You don't need me like I need you. You don't get it. I-i-i-it's embarrassing."</p><p>Harry shook his head, standing and approaching Louis like he would a timid animal. Sighing out a deep breath when Louis allowed him to press his hands onto his cheeks, to drag his fingers through his hair, "You feel embarrassed that you want me?"</p><p>"No!" Louis huffed, "That I need you! A-a-and you don't need me you just want me!"</p><p>"Oh, baby," Harry's words were more just a sad whisper, "I have failed you if you don't think I need you so bad it hurts to see you leave. That I don't need you like I need air. I get so scared lying in bed at night just thinking about all the ways I could lose you."</p><p>Louis lip trembled with tears, sniffling, "Yeah?"</p><p>"Louis," Harry slipped his hand down onto the back of Louis neck, pulling their foreheads together. Louis watched as Harry's eyes turned from just red to teary, "I come here every night, I show up to your apartment, praying that you'll be there. I'm terrified that you'll just disappear again and I won't find you. That no matter how much I-how much I like you, it won't be enough. I won't be enough to make you stay."</p><p>"I'm sorry." Louis mumbled against Harry's cheek, "I don't want to make you feel that way."</p><p>"Just know that I need you, Louis." Harry's fingers tightened in Louis' hair, "I need you."</p><p>Louis' mouth clenched with anxiety, his jaw jumping in tension, "I feel so broken, Harry, like I'm just one ding away from shattering. I can barely control myself without you."</p><p>"Let me help you, ok? Let me keep you safe enough for you to fix yourself." Harry pulled back now looking over Louis' face, "Start by telling me where you got that and I will take care of it."</p><p>Louis sniffled, watching Harry's large hand cover his, large fingers intertwining with his own, to settle his quaking, "It was a tip."</p><p>"A tip?" Harry's voice was cold, confused, "Someone tipped you that?"</p><p>"They tipped Raymond that and he gave me half." Louis chanced a look to Harry's eyes and something cold and dark danced across his face.</p><p>"Oh." Harry's tongue swiped across his lips before he whispered, "You stay here." Then the taller man was gone, Louis left reeling.</p><p>In the next office over he heard Zayn's voice rise above the rest, "What the hell, Styles?"</p><p>Then Harry was passing by the office he'd left Louis in with a determined look on his face and a gun in his hand. Louis' eyes widened in fear and he quickly strode after him. The men from before standing in the hallway looking between Louis and Harry.</p><p>The smaller boy took quick steps but by the time he was on the mezzanine, Harry was already behind the bar. With a tight grip on Raymond's shirt and the gun against his temple, "What the fuck, Styles?"</p><p>"Why the fuck did you give Louis that?" Harry's voice was dark, cold, something Louis hadn't heard before. His eyes even darker, colder with promise. The smaller boy made his way down the stairs until he stopped on the other side of the bar, confused.</p><p>"What are you talking about?"</p><p>"The drugs, you piece of shit!" Harry yelled, "I told Niall to tell you to make sure he didn't take anything!"</p><p>Ray scoffed, like he didn't have a gun to his head, "Niall barely does his job. I didn't know he was trying to stay sober."</p><p>"But you met my sponsor?" Louis finally spoke from his spot, Ray's head whipping around to take in the other boy, "We had lunch last weekend."</p><p>Ray looked like he was making a calculated decision before turning back to Harry, "Fine then maybe I forgot! Maybe I didn't realize it was that big of a deal, Jesus."</p><p>Harry's anger grew ten fold, curling his fist even tighter in the other man's shirt, "You know Ray, sobriety to some people is more than just a way to manipulate their father into paying their rent again."</p><p>"Oh, fuck you, Styles!" Ray bit out, trying to push Harry away but the man was bigger, stronger, madder.</p><p>"If it was a tip, where is your half?" Harry asked, looking down to Ray's pockets, "Show me!"</p><p>"It's gone."</p><p>"Bullshit! You aren't even high." Harry shook the other man, "Why the fuck were you trying to get Louis' high?"</p><p>"You're a fucking maniac!" Ray muttered, "I wasn't trying to get him high. I just gave him his share."</p><p>"You are full of shit." Harry pressed the gun harder into the man's cheek bone, "I bet there wasn't even a tip. I bet you took that from the family's supply."</p><p>"My Family's supply!" Ray roared, "It's my family, Styles. Not yours! I can take whatever the fuck I want."</p><p>Then it clicked, Louis' bottom lip dropped in surprise, softly whispering, "Even money?"</p><p>"Shut up, Louis." Ray growled but Harry already heard it, he was already pulling the other man closer before slamming him back against the bar.</p><p>"You've been stealing from the club. Haven't you?" Harry growled, "You worthless little weasel. You were trying to get Louis high so that we'd think he was the one stealing."</p><p>"It's my family, Harry." Ray stated, playing chicken raising his chin in defiance, "It's not stealing. My father will believe me over you."</p><p>"But I think my father would like to hear about this so he can decide who to believe." The unidentified man stepped forward; Louis wasn't sure when the trio came down from the mezzanine, but they heard everything. He made a jump in logic assuming this was Liam, "Harry let him go. Zayn, grab him."</p><p>"No Liam!" Raymond seemed more worried now, "You don't have to tell Uncle Geoff. I'll get the money back."</p><p>"I don't have to tell him, you're right, but I want to." Liam shook his head, "You know it was your father who told me to go out and find someone to replace you. To find Harry. He knew you were a fuck up even back then."</p><p>Ray glared, fighting the hold Zayn has taken on his arm, "Fuck you, Liam."</p><p>"Our fathers trust Harry, Zayn, and even fucking Niall more than you." Liam spat out, "They all wanted your neck when they found out about this, but Niall tried to find any spec of evidence it wasn't you. "</p><p>"Isn't that a shock." Ray tracked his eyes to the bar manager, "Niall actually doing his job and not just sucking Zayn's dick."</p><p>The whole room paused, clearly Ray thought he had something here on Niall. Clearly, he thought he could leverage a fight between Zayn and Liam as a distraction. Louis looked between the two dangerous men, eyes lowering when Liam looked his way something odd on his face. Like he was weighing his words, "Yeah, you're right, Ray. Niall does suck Zayn's dick and he sucks mine too. And if we're very lucky he lets us spit roast him, right here at the club even."</p><p>Louis cheeks flushed, eyes wide unintentionally looking at Niall who just chuckled at the admission, shrugging his shoulder and nodding, "Unlike you, Ray, I know exactly what's happening around me. Now get him to the car, Z."</p><p>Harry followed the other two men out, stopping before he got to the door, "Louis, wait for me. I'll come back and get you."</p><p>"You don't have to, Haz."</p><p>"I want to, please." Harry asked, eyes wide with desire, "Let me help."</p><p>Louis gulped and nodded, "ok."</p><p>"Thank you."</p><p>Once Harry was out the door, Louis and Niall stood in silence for a long moment, before Louis popped his lips, "So..."</p><p>"Do you have a problem with my sex life, too?" Niall raised his eyebrows, "I have no qualms letting you go."</p><p>Louis shook his head, "Nope. No problem here."</p><p>"Good, because I heard you like to be choked while calling Styles daddy so..." Louis blushed, licking his lips, guess the walls between the offices were rather thin, "Guess we're even then."</p><p>"Umm yup."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter is explicit</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>By the time Harry was back, the club had been cleaned 'well enough' according to Niall. Harry looked worn down on their walk to the car, so there weren't any words exchanged. Louis was so tired too he didn't even notice they weren't heading to his apartment, until ten minutes in, "Where are we going?"</p><p>"My place." Harry shrugged, eyes flickering off the road to look at Louis, "Just in case."</p><p>"I'm not gonna use." Louis whispered, "I just got scared when it was in my hands. You don't have to babysit me."</p><p>Harry's hand left the clutch and landed heavily on Louis' knee, "Let me take care of you, Lou. Nothing more."</p><p> </p><p>Harry's apartment was nice, much nicer than Louis' that's for sure. With one bedroom the majority of the space was taken up by a large living room/kitchen area separated by a granite countertop. One wall was just a window from floor to ceiling, that Louis could see continued into the bedroom.</p><p>"What if someone sees you naked?" Louis asked, staying almost a foot from the window in fear of getting vertigo or worse fingerprints on the pristine fixture.</p><p>"The windows are tinted." Harry wandered into the fridge handing Louis a water bottle before heading into the bedroom, "I don't know if my pajama pants will fit you but here's a sweater."</p><p>Louis took the lavender colored sweater into his hands, fingers working their way into the softness, "Thank you."</p><p>Harry tilted his head and nodded, "You can use the bathroom first and then sleep in my bed."</p><p>Louis blushed before nodding, wordlessly going to the bathroom, quick to change and use the toilet before leaving. Harry nodded when Louis exited the room before going into the ensuite himself. There was a nervousness brewing in the air that the smaller man couldn't put a finger on.</p><p>In prison Louis was anxious and going through withdrawals but it wasn't like this. Harry was never part of the problem. Maybe it was the fact that they'd be sleeping in the same bed? Or maybe it was the fact that Louis wasn't wearing any pants, just his boxers and a sweater so soft and warm it lulled the smaller man into a false sense of security.</p><p>He shouldn't have sex with Harry tonight. He really shouldn't. But there was something about the man that made Louis lose his self-control on a normal day, not to mention a shit show like today. Something about the way the larger man took control of his body so that the only thing left for him to think of was the man, his hands, and his dick.</p><p>Louis' front teeth worried over his bottom lip, the fear that Harry would leave him alone again the anxiety would be back. Even just sleeping in this bed tonight and then returning to his tiny apartment tomorrow sent him spiraling. He had been handling it well enough alone, so he really didn't need Harry going and making him feel so good in comparison.</p><p>When the other man exited the bathroom, he shot Louis a stiff nod and then made his way to the door, "Where are you going?"</p><p>"I'm going to sleep on the couch." Harry pointed out the door.</p><p>"No. If anyone is sleeping on the couch..." Louis was quick to get onto his knees, the blankets keeping him on the bed but pooling near his thighs, "I'll take it. This is your room."</p><p>"Louis." Harry sighed, "it's late. I will sleep on the couch. Just take the bed."</p><p>"Nope." The blue-eyed boy shook his head, going to stand, "Guess we'll both be sleeping on the couch tonight."</p><p>"You really are something else." Harry actually chuckled, just a micro smile fliting across his face before rolling his eyes, "Ok, fine."</p><p>Louis watched the larger man, just in plaid pants and a white tee shirt, stalk around the bed and get in, "Ok."</p><p>It was awkward, even that first night Louis crawled into Harry's bunk hadn't been like this. The bunk was a twin they had no choice but to huddle and Louis had liked that. He missed it most nights, especially when it was cold or when he couldn't close his eyes without seeing something terrible. He missed the safety of Harry's arms around his waist, the calm he could conjure with just the tempo of Harry's breathing.</p><p>But here on this queen bed, it was wrong. The space between them was like miles instead of inches. And Louis stared at the side of Harry's face, his jaw muscle working overtime. The taller man laid on the bed like it was concrete, back stiff and staring at the ceiling, "What's wrong with us?"</p><p>Harry turned to face Louis, the city lights allowing the pair to see every little spot and imperfection, "There's nothing wrong with us, baby."</p><p>"We slept in the same bed for months. It was nice." Louis whispered, "Why do I feel so strange here? Why does this feel so different?"</p><p>The green eyed man sighed, closing the distance between them just a smidge, so his hand could rest over Louis', now laying on his side, "I really don't want to mess this up. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable but I couldn't let you go home alone. I couldn't leave you like that."</p><p>Louis' quirked just a small shadow of a smile before looking at their hands, "I wouldn't have slept there. I get so anxious when I'm alone. I probably would have called Nick."</p><p>"Do you want to call Nick now?" Harry whispered, trying to hide the hurt. That someone else could take better care of the man he loved.</p><p>"No." Louis flashed a soft glance, "Nick is good and everything but..."</p><p>"But?"</p><p>"But I would've wanted to call you first..." Louis whispered, tightening his grip on Harry's hand but not meeting his eyes.</p><p>"I'd answer any time, any place." Harry solemnly promised, "Why don't you ever call?"</p><p>"You're not mine." Louis gulped, wondering if those were the right words. If that's what he meant. Because Harry was his but there are varying levels of possession and midnight calls weren't on the table for them right now.</p><p>"I am yours." Harry's hand left Louis' and pulled the smaller boy to him, until their noses were just centimetres apart, "I belong to you."</p><p>Louis gasped, at the heat shining behind Harry's eyes. The tense way his hands gripped his shoulders, eyes ghosting over Harry's face, the words leaving his mouth before he could filter them, "I want you to fuck me."</p><p>But they were true. He wanted Harry bad. Harry belonged to him, and he believed it. In that moment with those dark green eyes focused on his face, Harry was Louis'.</p><p>"No." Harry sighed heavily, like it took everything in him to say that singular word, "No, Louis."</p><p>"I want it." Louis pleaded, "I do."</p><p>"No, you don't." Harry's voice was strained, "You need to focus on your sobriety."</p><p>"You won't let me fall." Louis nudged his nose under Harry's jaw, "I can trust you."</p><p>"Lou, you don't know what you're asking. You've had a hard day and you need to sleep." Harry's eyes remained closed, tight. His fingers twitched on Louis' bicep, like he was a man on the brink of chaos.</p><p>"Do you want me to beg?" A little nose brushed over Harry's cheek, soft lips against the bow of his lips, "Please Daddy?"</p><p>Harry's breath stuttered and he closed his eyes for a long moment before his hands moved.</p><p>Fingers sliding into Louis' hair and gripping at it, tightly, until Lou let out a sharp little sound that came from the back of his throat. His head tipping back, throat bared and vulnerable. Little fingers worked quick to free himself from his boxers.</p><p>Louis' mouth collided with Harry's like so many times before and Harry kissed him back. Like maybe kissing would be enough. Louis' tongue against Harry's teeth, against his own. Maybe this would be enough.</p><p>But feeling the weight of Louis now straddling his waist, grinding down against him, there was no turning back. Louis dragged at Harry's tee shirt, pulling it up and over his shoulders, he threw it beside him, onto the floor, and then he dragged Harry's boxers and pajama pants down his thighs.</p><p>Harry kicked off his boxers, sliding his hands up Louis' back, all reservations gone. He growled softly, "You don't want me to be on top, baby boy? You don't want me to hold you down?"</p><p>Louis laughed, laughed against Harry's mouth, the sound so shaky like he was on the verge of tears. Harry took in his pink stained cheeks in the dim light, and the way his eyes glittered in in the darkness. Like today hadn't been terrible. Like the past years hadn't been terrible.</p><p>"You want to hold me down, Harry?" he asked, playful. "You're not acting like it."</p><p>Harry didn't know what showed on his face, but whatever it was, made Louis' smile fall away from his mouth and prompted his eyes to widen slightly. It made the smaller man recoil by half an inch, but Harry knew what fear looked like when Louis wore it, and it didn't usually come with the slight dart of his tongue out to wet his lips or the slight tilt of his head to bare his neck just a little bit more.</p><p>Harry returned his hands to Louis' waist, sliding his palms up and over the smaller man's ribs. He dragged his thumbs over Louis' nipples and smiled at the way Louis went stiff as he did, hissing out a sharp sound. His hands lingered almost too long, almost too appreciatively, over the soft skin of his abdomen. Harry's breath shook with comfort as only a few months ago he thought he'd never have the chance to touch his little lover again.</p><p>Louis reached to touch Harry's chest, but Harry grabbed his wrists and shoved them over his head, flipping Louis onto his back so that he was pinned under Harry's grip and under his body.<br/>Louis took in a gasp of air, staring up at Harry's face with excitement.</p><p>"Is this okay?" Harry asked, it's only been a few months since the last time he'd had Louis under him, but he wouldn't take what he wasn't given. His blood boiled with the knowledge that other people had taken from Louis without asking in the past, and he wouldn't be like those people.<br/>Louis mutely nodded his head.</p><p>"Do you want me to tie you up?" Harry asked, slightly off topic but thinking back to the night he'd asked the smaller boy that before. Trying to gauge exactly what Louis needed right now.</p><p>Louis' eyes widened, but he didn't look away, didn't break Harry's gaze, "Not tonight."</p><p>"But if I did it'd only be like this," Harry asked, testing Louis' limits in the moment. He knew his little love's ex did a number on him, "Your wrists above your head and your ankles loose or the other way around, but not both, and not bound to something."</p><p>Louis let out a low, breathless laugh, but he looked away for half a second. "Can you read my mind?"</p><p>"No." Harry huffed against Louis' neck, lips leaving sloppy kisses in his wake, "But I know you like I've never known anyone before."</p><p>It was true. There was no denying it. Harry belonged to Louis. Every single one of Harry's thoughts belonged to Louis. Harry's slow mornings, late nights, and mid meeting daydreams all belonged to the man below him. Louis lived in Harry's mind rent free.</p><p>Harry pulled back to take at Louis' face, so soft despite everything, so perfect. He leaned in to kiss Louis again, kissed him harder than he had before. Louis tried his hardest to arch up against Harry's body, but with Harry's knee resting on his thigh and Louis' wrists pinned above his head, it was easy to keep him still, keep him in place. "How can I help you cut the edge, baby? What can daddy do to make it better?"</p><p>"This is good," Louis whimpered, but even as he said it, he tipped his head back and Harry grazed his teeth down Louis' neck. The noise Louis made was obscene, a sharp gasp and a soft moan, and he tried to arch off of the bed, tried to thrust himself up against Harry and couldn't manage it, letting out a frustrated whine, "Let me— Please, please, let me—"</p><p>"Tell me what you want me to do," Harry murmured, and then sucked a mark at the very base of Louis' neck, making sure it would be covered by his work shirt tomorrow. Louis cried out, and Harry could feel his wrists straining as he tried to twist them free, he could feel the small man kick and do his best to struggle out from under him. "This seems like it's enough for you."</p><p>Sex for them was always like this. Harry asking and Louis begging or whining. In all of his previous partners, Harry had felt apathy or even annoyance for the same things that made his heart quicken when Louis would do it. He'd never felt this way about anyone. He'd pull, every little moan, cry, or sob from the boy whether he wanted to release it or not. In prison they had to be quiet to an extent but now, there was no guard, no other people within a few feet to hear.</p><p>"No, let me grind against—" Louis whined, and Harry bit at the juncture of his shoulder to cut him off, shifting his grip to just one hand holding Louis' wrists in place, and it was easy. There was a thrill in that, in how easy it was to hold Louis in place. In the past he never really enjoyed the idea of restraining someone but again he felt that spark of pleasure if only because of how obviously Louis enjoyed it. When Harry drew one hand away, Louis released a ragged whimper, staring at his hand. "Wait, wait—"</p><p>"Wait?" Harry repeated, raising his eyebrows playfully as he wrapped one hand around Louis' cock. Louis went stiff, his lips quivered.</p><p>"Ah, ah, Harry, no, no, don't— Don't do that, don't, it's too much, it's too much—"</p><p>"Too much?" Harry echoed, and he couldn't help his soft laugh as he squeezed slightly, twisting his wrist and feeling Louis' hips jump. "You're not saying you'll come just from—"</p><p>"H-h-harry," Louis whimpered, desperately, but he was already pulsing into Harry's hand. Louis' breath was ragged and his face was so red he could be illuminating the room, and Harry slid his fingers, now soaked wet, between Louis' thighs. The smaller boy gasped, shuddering, as Harry slid his fingers between the cheeks of his ass.</p><p>"You never came that fast before."</p><p>"Sorry." Louis blushed, still wiggling under his larger lover's form, "Haven't even touched myself in a while."</p><p>"Celibacy, especially with one's own hand, isn't a part of NA," Harry murmured, hiding his smile against Louis' neck. Sick pleasure eating him up that Louis wasn't getting it from anyone else, apparently even himself. Louis spread his legs apart, even as he was trembling, his cock softening against his belly. "Now Louis, do you want me to stop?"</p><p>"No," Louis whispered, eyelids drooping but still so desperate for more.</p><p>"Good," Harry said, his voice rough with desire. "I really didn't want to."</p><p>Louis' cock gave a valiant little twitch, and he said, breathlessly, "Kiss me, please?"</p><p>Harry let Louis' wrists go, and Louis immediately wound his arms around Harry's neck, his fingers running through his hair again. When he leaned up to kiss the larger man again he was eager, desperate, and there was something about this that went straight to Harry's ego, that Louis was—</p><p>That Louis was still desperate for Harry's touch on his body, Harry's lips against his. Even after disappearing from his life for months, even after rejecting him. Louis wanted Harry just as bad as Harry wanted Louis.</p><p>"You need to— know Ah, ah," Louis gasped out, interrupted by the slide of one finger into his ass clenching around Harry's finger, and it seemed like he was having a little trouble concentrating.</p><p>"I need to?" Harry asked, lips nudging over Louis' cheek over his temple. "I need to know what?"</p><p>"I haven't had a— I haven't had sex like this in a while," Louis said, stumbling on the words, trying to get out his thoughts, "I mean nothing has been up there since you." Louis stopped talking when Harry reached past him for the lube, drizzling some over his fingers – it was cold, and Louis hissed, but it made it easier to slide two of Harry's fingers into him. "You know that, right?"</p><p>"What do I know?" Harry asked, eyebrows raised. Their eyes still locked as Harry rather softly worked his fingers into Louis.</p><p>The blue eyed boy stared at him, uncomprehending, then whispered, as though someone might hear them, "I don't want anyone but you, h—" He cut off into a sharp moan as Harry crooked his fingers, pressing on the tight muscle of Louis' hole, and Harry looked down at Louis' cock, trying its best to flare back to life.</p><p>Harry was more than hard, now – he'd not touched himself since they'd started, but with Louis tight and wet, body arced off of the bed, his thighs spread as widely as he could manage. Harry felt hot and eager in a way he hadn't in the longest time.</p><p>He thought just a few minutes ago that he could get Louis off and then send him along to bed, but that was never really an option. Not when Louis looked up at him with those soft eyes and told him exactly what he wanted to hear. Not when his body wanted Louis more than he could even comprehend.</p><p>When was the last time Harry even had sex? With all the stress recently, spending so many long hours at work, he'd only had time to get himself off occasionally in the shower. Even before this all the anticipation was building up under his skin. He tried to find someone after Louis disappeared, but everyone felt wrong. Said the wrong things, moved the wrong way. But Louis was so unintentionally perfect that Harry felt the need to sink himself into Louis and never leave.</p><p>"And I only want you, baby." Harry finally answered, and took one of Louis' nipples between his teeth, worrying it gently and making Louis shout, digging his fingernails into Harry's scalp.</p><p>"mm love when you take care of me," Louis bit out, fingers twitching from Harry's movement, lips suckling at Harry's neck. He loved that Harry loved to fuck him face to face but there was something about hands and kness that sent shivers up Louis' back, "Do you mind if I'm on my hands and knees?"</p><p>"I don't mind," Harry reassured, soft hands helping Louis flip over. There was never much room in the cell for most positions, even doggy style was difficult with a bunk bed. Now Harry knew that whatever Louis would give him would be perfect.</p><p>So, he watched Louis arrange himself, pulling some pillows under him, and Harry slid in behind him. Already stretched out enough he pressed in. Louis' ass was hotter than he remembered, and so tight he could barely stand it, sinking himself in a little at a time, letting Louis open up to him.</p><p>Louis let out breathless, sharp little noises as Harry sank himself into the hilt, and for a moment just rested there. Feeling Louis clench around him, feeling Louis' tension soften out beneath him. He waited, expectant, and after a few moments, Louis started to squirm, trying to push himself back against Harry, and Harry gripped very tightly at his hips, keeping him in his place.</p><p>"Please please please," Louis whined, and Harry kissed a gentle wet line up the length of his spine, up to the back of Louis' neck. When Louis shuddered, Harry grabbed him by the hair and shoved his head down. The smaller boy cried out, but his legs spread wider, and Harry could feel him clench, feel his sac draw up slightly tighter.</p><p>"Ready?" Harry asked, he could be rough if that's what Louis wanted.</p><p>"Please, fuck me hard, daddy," Louis squeaked, mouth muffled where he was shoved down against the bedspread.</p><p>Harry felt light-headed, hot all over, exhilarated. Louis was under him again, begging him again. Harry would have waited years for Louis to be ready. And when he started to move his hips, the sounds Louis made only added to his enlightenment that this was really happening.</p><p>Harry was splitting him open, fucking Louis so hard he felt like he could taste his lover in the back of his throat. With Louis' head shoved down against the bed, and Louis' cock hard again even though it hurt just a bit.</p><p>Every thrust shoved him further against the bed, pinned down under Harry's weight, his strength. There were new bruises on his hips and bite marks over his back and his chest, a few hickeys sucked around the base of his neck. Louis was overwhelmed by it, but cherished the marks that he'd just cried about earlier tonight. The marks he missed.</p><p>He reached for Harry's other hand, the one gripping at his shoulder, and he pulled it down, so that the larger man's fingers slid over the column of Louis' throat.</p><p>"No," Harry growled against his ear, and Louis shuddered, at the tone and at the feeling of his finger just grazing his racing pulse.</p><p>"Please—"</p><p>"Not if I can't see your face," Harry said. It wasn't a no, it wasn't a refusal. Harry would always take care of Louis even if it meant denying him what he wanted in the moment. The words drew filthy pictures of Louis sitting in Harry's lap or being laid out in front of him as Harry choked him. Oh how he wanted the larger man to choke him, again. Then Harry's hand was wrapped around Louis' cock again.</p><p>"No, no, Harry, I'm gonna— You can't—" Louis was babbling, and Harry knew that meant he was close.</p><p>"I think I can," Harry mouthed over Louis' shoulder, twisting his hand in the way he had before – and Harry had strong hands, big hands, and Louis couldn't stand it, knew he was going to come again.<br/>Louis sobbed out a desperate noise as he came over Harry's fingers, his balls drawn up tight, and Harry slowed his pace, fucking Louis through his orgasm just as he spoke, soft and firm. It tore awful, wretched noises out of Louis' throat, sounds that Harry would groan about later when he was alone.</p><p>"Harry—"</p><p>"Gonna be a good boy and let me finish?" Harry pressed the question into the hollow behind Louis' ear, his voice soft and low and deliberate against Louis' skin, just the way the boy liked it.</p><p>There was tension in Harry's voice and it was lower and even more gravelly than usual, making a small soft part of Louis feel like a mess. Like Louis was a Greek god being worshiped by a supplicant peasant. Louis dropped forward, letting himself go limp under Harry – Harry's stamina, Harry's slow pressing hips, Harry's ridiculous dick.</p><p>When Harry came, he pressed his full weight onto Louis and the over tired boy sighed like a happy camper. The compression was more than welcome, like the air that escaped his lungs took everything bad with it. He was so satisfied with the feeling of come inside him, feeling Harry's cock pulse in his ass and leaving him soaked with it, messy, dripping with it.</p><p>"Can you give me a third, my good boy?" Harry praised, flipping Louis onto his back, and Louis felt his eyes burn as Harry slid his lubricated palm over Louis' cock again. Harry looked down at him, gaze focused intently on Louis' face. That dark and searching look that once confused Louis now sent his stomach flipping over in his belly and his cock twitching and his whole body alive with it.</p><p>"I-I-I," Louis said, mouth hanging open with pant after pant, his lips coated in saliva.</p><p>"I think you can," Harry nodded, squeezing tighter, pressing wet and soft kisses onto Louis' stomach, "You are my good boy." And Louis sobbed, head tipping back as he felt the uncomfortable tension bundle up inside him, too tightly, the aching need to orgasm too much of an ache this time, overstimulated, sore— "You will come again. And you will look so good like this, spread out for me, I want to see you come again."</p><p>The tears streaked his cheeks unbidden – Louis wasn't upset, he didn't think, wasn't that embarrassed either, just overstimulated. If he truly didn't want it Harry wouldn't give it. That much he knew.</p><p>But now it was beginning to feel like he was being taken apart under Harry's gaze. With Harry looking at him like that, not looking away, he felt an otherworldly adoration.</p><p>Louis' cock gave a weak sputter, a pearl of white liquid sliding out of him as it pulsed in Harry's hand, and Louis sobbed. Heaving in gasp after gasp as Harry looked down at him, hungrily, like he was trying to commit every part of the sight of Louis like this to memory. His words were slow and soft, "You are the most beautiful, good little thing I have ever seen."</p><p>Louis fell back onto the bed, breathing heavy, staring up at Harry. Who was still staring down at him, rubbing a pattern into Louis' thigh, massaging the muscle there. Again like some great and powerful deity, Louis' eyes rolled back into his head when Harry worked a particularly tight knot in his thigh.</p><p>"Mmmh." Louis huffed, trying to speak but failing. So Harry continued an awestruck little smile on his face.</p><p>"You are the best thing that I have ever belonged to and...." Harry praised, fingers working their way over his butt, up his stomach. Until his lips rested softly below his ear, one hand grasping the back of Louis' neck and the other holding him close, "...you're all mine."</p><p>Louis sobbed at the darkness in his tone, at the gravely way his slight stumble rubbed against his smooth cheek. He sobbed not sure if he could handle more, "No more, please." As his cock threatened to rise again.</p><p>Harry hummed, nodding, "No more tonight, my good boy."</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Louis woke to an empty bed, his hand searching out a warm body and finding only cold sheets. After a quick bathroom visit, he wandered into the kitchen to find Harry, back tense, cooking eggs at the stove, “Hey.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was quick to turn around, his face although usually stoic is almost devoid of emotion today, “Good morning.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s wrong?” Something was off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry, Louis.” Harry took a deep breath before continuing, “What I did last night was wrong and I am so sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Louis furrowed his brows, “What you did last night?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I shouldn’t have initiated that with you.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Initiated.” Louis scoffed, coming right to Harry’s side, “I ‘initiated’ it and I liked it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry turned around so that he could brush his fingers through Louis’ morning hair, down his bruised neck, “I was supposed to protect you last night.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis pressed onto his tip toes so that his lips were level with Harry’s, “Harry, I liked it. Please don’t make this a bad thing. If It makes you feel better, I’ll go to a meeting today.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That would make me feel better.” The other man nodded, “I won’t push this but it’s not happening again.” </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Louis did end up going to a meeting that day, but Harry also did end up fucking him against the countertop and then he made him come again sobbing in the shower. Because they were fucking again, whether that sat well in Harry’s conscious or not. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And when Harry and Louis showed up at the club together, Niall stared at the blue eyed boy until he muttered, “What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Niall was dressed in a bar boy’s uniform, seeing as how Raymond would no longer be working there, “You two fucked, didn’t you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis blushed, glancing to the mezzanine as if Harry could hear them from his office, “Why do you say that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Niall’s hand shot out and poked a spot low on Louis’ neck, “The hickey here and the way he looked like he wanted to bend you over the bar just now.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Shit, I thought I covered all the bruises.” Louis shrugged, “Yeah, we had sex last night…. And this morning.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, fuck!” Niall giggled, playfully punching Louis’ shoulder, “Tell me more.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Louis side eyed Niall, “You know we slept together before.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know but I have to know what got him!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What are you implying, Niall?” Louis cut his eyes to the Irishman, “Are you saying I’m not hot enough to fuck twice?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh no, sweetie! I’d certainly fuck you twice, but Harry doesn’t have the best history with guys.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What do you mean?” Louis asked, trying to not let himself feel inadequate. It was no secret the both of them were fucking other people before they met. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I just mean, I’ve known the man for years and he’s never had more than a one night stand and then suddenly you’re here.” Niall whistled dramatically, “And he’s a total simp. Following you around like a lot puppy and trying to fuck you in the alley way.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis shrugs, face heating up substantially at the thought of Niall catching them that first night, “I don’t know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Must be good dick.” Niall shrugs, “I’ve done things way more out of character for good dick.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The topic dies pretty quickly after that but it does sit heavily in Louis’ mind. So much so he asks Harry if he can stay for the second night in a row and the curly haired man agrees without hesitation. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At almost 2:30 in the morning, Harry’s picking through his fridge to find himself a snack with Louis on the couch. His back aches from the shift and the night before but he’s too curious to wait for tomorrow, “Why?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Harry asked, finally deciding on a roll of ritz crackers before coming to stand directly in front of Louis. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why?” Harry grinned, a look Louis didn’t catch outside of the two of them alone. Louis was under the impression that he belonged to a small handful of people who’ve seen Harry smile, “Why Louis William Tomlinson?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis couldn’t suppress a smile, Harry’s grin was contagious, “Come on, why? I don’t get it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry looked as though he was thinking for just a moment before he settled onto the couch beside the smaller man, “Come here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis watched as Harry pat his lap and slowly responded coming close until large hands met his waist and sat him on top of him. His knees sat perfectly on either side of Harry’s hips, their nose at the same level. Harry bit his lip and Louis leaned in close to press a gentle kiss to the spot the other man was worrying over with his teeth, “I like when you smile.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry huffed against Louis’ lips and couldn’t suppress a little half grin, “Then unlimited smiles you shall receive, honey.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis’ stomach flipped at the endearment, “Tell me why? Why me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry sighed again, “It’s complicated.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Explain it.” Louis nodded into Harry’s check, the pair whispered as if they weren’t alone in the apartment, “I’ve got time.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s almost three in the morning.” Harry chuckled huskily, rubbing his eyes, “let’s sleep.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Please?” Louis tried once more, “I want to know.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>So, he nodded, “Ok. Promise you won’t get scared off?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Scared off?” Louis chuckled now, “You’d have to do a lot to scare me off.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok.” Harry nodded, “I guess it started when I was a kid with my family.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded, “You told me you have a sister and a mom back home?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Harry nodded, his large palms absentmindedly working a pattern into Louis’ thigh, “I have a dad too, but he left us when I was little. I grew up in the suburbs in a nice house. I was probably meant to be a banker or a baker, but I just never felt like I belonged. People were nice but it was never enough for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Enough?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Harry leg bounced a little nervously, “I never felt like I was enough for the people there or that they understood me. Typical teenage angst.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis’s fingers danced over Harry’s chest nodding along while the other man spoke, “Anyways I ran away from home and into the city when I was sixteen. I lived on my own for two years mostly on the streets which is where I picked up my habit. I started stealing and pickpocketing to afford my next fix. But one day I picked the wrong person and almost ended up dead.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Who’d you steal from?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He was a few years older than me and he stunk of new money. He was my usual target type, dressed in clothes that cost more than most people’s rent, but it turns out he was the heir to a crime family.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Liam?” Louis asked, Harry nodded. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He saw me, eighteen and strung out. He could have killed me, and no one would have cared but he didn’t. He took me under his wing and trained me to be his right-hand man. He got me clean and found me a place to live. Everything I have today is because of him. But I was like you,” Harry smiled, tapping his finger against Louis' nose, “I always asked him ‘why?’ you know ‘why me?’ How could he have looked at me, skinny, homeless, and at my absolute lowest and decided to help.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis hummed, “What would he say?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He would always just shrug and say that he ‘saw something in me’.” Harry chuckled, “And I always said that that was bullshit. I always thought that it must have been that he needed someone quick and that I was there. Maybe I looked easy to manipulate. I chalked it up to a million reasons and I eventually stopped asking but it continued to nag at me.” Harry paused, licking his lips, his palm finally making its way up to Louis cheek, “But then I met you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Me?” Louis leaned into the pressure. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah the first time I saw you on the ground of that laundry room, I wanted to kill you.” Harry looked almost ashamed, “I even called Liam, but he said it would draw too much attention to our dealings inside.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“So, you moved me into your cell to keep an eye on me?” Louis muttered, completely serious when saying, “Thank you for not killing me but I’m still confused.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry chuckled, “When you were going through withdrawals, you were hallucinating something that happened to you in the past I think.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Something like what?” Louis scrunched up his eyebrows. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You thought someone was hurting you.” Harry grimaced at the idea, “And I tried to calm you down. I made you drink water and I tried to talk you through it. It was your eyes. Your eyes even through the terror, I could see you weren’t defeated. You were so strong even in your weakest point and I remember thinking that you deserved more. I remember thinking that I saw something in you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like Liam saw in you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Exactly, I finally understood.” Harry shook his head, “You made it all make sense. Until I met you, I didn’t understand how to care for someone, love someone, even when they had nothing to offer you. Like Liam did for me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis' cheeks warmed, his fingers working their way into Harry’s curls, “You love me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s face was solemn when he nodded, “I love you more than I think appropriate. I’d do anything to make you happy, to keep you safe.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hmmm” Louis couldn’t bear to look at Harry pressing his face into the side of Harry’s head, lips wobbling before muttering, “No one has ever made me feel as secure and wanted as you have.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to say it back, Louis.” Harry’s hand went to the back of Louis’ head to hold him close after Louis’ words faded into nothing, “Just know that I give it without need for reciprocation. I mean it when I say I belong to you. When I say I love you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’d stay with me even if I didn’t love you?” Louis whispered so small, into the space behind Harry’s ear, clutching the other man closer so that his entire torso lined up with Harry’s. Louis could feel Harry’s racing pulse against his lips.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry nodded without hesitation, arms tightening, “You are more than enough for me just the way you are.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They sunk into silence after that the only sounds between them were gentle breath and the brush of fingers over hair and skin. The time wore on until Harry silently stood, Louis still in his arms, and brought them both to the bedroom. Without even undressing the pair slipping under the covers, Harry caught soft blue eyes staring at him but stayed quiet. Enough had been said. </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come to an event with me?” Harry asked over breakfast. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“An event?” Louis repeated, suspiciously, “What kind of event.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The kind with good champagne.” Harry, uncharacteristically, seemed to be nervous, even fiddling with the knobs of the burner for what he was making. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You want me to come?” Louis asked, “As a date?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s eyes flash to Louis as if he thinks that’s crossing the line, “Could be as friends, if you want?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah yes,” Louis sassed, “My good friend who shoves his fingers in my mouth and fucks me into a sobbing mess.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry cracked a smile, “As very good friends then?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I like the idea of being your date.” Louis shrugged, “But if you don’t—”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A date it is then.” Harry cut him off, “I’ll get you a tux. It’s next weekend.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I work the weekends?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s in the morning.” Harry assured him, “I’ll have you to work on time but also lucky for you I have an in with your boss.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is the ‘in’ that you are his boss?” Louis chuckled, and Harry nodded. Coming around the counter to hold Louis from behind, nuzzling behind his ear. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My date.” Harry hummed, “I like the sound of that.” </span>
</p>
<p><br/>
<br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>A whole week later finds Louis, nervously fiddling with the cuff links Harry clipped onto his suit just a while earlier. Sitting in his range rover, Louis squirms, “What sort of event is this again?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“It’s a social gathering.” Harry shrugged, “For this judge that Liam’s family owns.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A pet judge?” Louis chuckled, hand finally coming to a stop with their anxious tapping when Harry’s hand closed over them. Holding him down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” Harry nodded, winking his way, “Comes in handy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Are you sure I’ll fit in here?” Louis tried to play off his insecurity as a joke, but it doesn’t prove successful. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry glanced at him, “You’ll be the prettiest boy there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis blushed, “Huh? Ok.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His leg began to bounce as he tried not to show Harry his anxious breathing. He wasn’t a stranger to nice events like these but that didn’t make him any less nervous. When Olivia used to drag him to events like these she’d always introduce him as if his life was a punchline. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis is an English major. Guess I’ll be the breadwinner here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis is a scholarship student, so he wouldn’t know good wine if it was forced down his throat.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis is a pretty boy. It’s too bad he can’t fit you into his schedule.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis’ heart began to race, Harry wouldn’t do that to him. Harry’s a good guy. His thoughts were derailed by a squeeze to his hands, “Hey, I just wanted to bring you somewhere nice and…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And?” Louis panicked at the second part, what did Harry want? There was always a second thing. Always something for him to do in return.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“</span>
  <em>
    <span>Louis, come here?” Olivia giggled pulling Louis off the dance floor and towards the hall. Louis waved to the flock of kids that he’d unofficially been elected to watch. Within minutes of arriving at Olivia's brother’s wedding reception, all the kids swarmed him and he was fine with that. He liked kids. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Where are we going?” Louis whispered, but she didn’t answer. Instead pulling him into a fancy single room bathroom and locking the door behind them. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Want a bump?” She asked but Louis was too busy eyeing up the guy already there. Probably in his mid to late-thirties, wearing an expensive suit he looked absolutely unsurprised at the pair’s arrival. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis looked over to Olivia and whispered, “Who’s this?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“This is Peter.” Olivia shot the other man a flirtatious look, “He works with my daddy.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, hi.” Louis nodded his way before turning back to Olivia, “I’ll take a bump.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Yeah?” She smirked that devious little smile, “You can have one one after you help our friend.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>Louis looked at the other man and blushed, “Help?” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The man finally came forward, tilting Louis’ chin up, inspecting his face, “Your girlfriend said I could fuck you, if I let her watch.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Ohh…” Louis gulped, feeling the words leave his mouth a little too soft, “I don’t know.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh, he knows what to do.” Olivia's voice left no room for argument, her hand landed on his shoulder, “He’s a slut for it.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>The man’s hand drifted to Louis’ neck, he felt trapped. Peter chuckled, looking to Olivia just off to Louis’ right, “He’s your little kept boy, huh?”</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Oh yeah.” She ginned, “Does anything you ask.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Here, pretty thing, stick out your tongue.” Louis saw the man fish a pill out of his pocket, ecstasy, “It’ll make you feel better.” And it did.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“And I want you to meet Liam and Zayn.” Harry smiled again and Louis sighed, grounding himself in the fact that he was back in the car. Of course, Harry wouldn’t put him in a position like that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your friends?” Louis whispered, hoarsely. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. They’re like my family.” Harry explained squeezing Louis’ hand, “You met Zayn before and Liam was at the club the other night but I want to introduce you formally. I think it’s about time.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded, “o-o-ok.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry pulled over on a random street and Louis looked around confused, “Is this it?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Harry pressed the gear into park and turned more fully to Louis, examining his face, “We don’t have to go, Louis. I can see you’re nervous.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But I got all dressed up.” Louis’ voice shook a little which made him more angry than anything else. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry gently rubbed over Louis’ shoulder and took a loose grip at the nape of the smaller man’s neck, “What if I take you out to brunch instead? Then I can take you home and get you all undressed? Maybe we can get use of my tub, hmmm?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis couldn’t hide his small smile, “Home?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“My place.” Harry ducked his head to meet Louis’ eyes, “We don’t have to go.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, we can go.” Louis shook his head, “it’s just that when I was with my ex she used to…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to tell me, Lou.” Harry shook his head, “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No I-I-I want to.” Louis looked up to Harry, trying to find something on his face that wasn’t pure compassion, “It’s just, promise you won’t get mad at me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis,” Harry gently tipped Louis’ head up a little more so that he could meet his eyes, “Nothing you can say will make me mad. Nothing about your past will ever make me feel angry at you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok, umm well.” Louis rushed out a breath, “She was pretty wealthy and we went to a lot of nice parties, like this. And she liked…” Louis paused again because this is the first time he’s tried to say this outloud. For just a moment he thinks if he allows this part of him to live somewhere between his clenched teeth and stuttering heart then it’ll be less real, “She liked to see me with other people. Other men really, she never got along with other women. She liked that other men thought I was attractive and she liked to offer me to them.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis gulped and glanced up to Harry who was trying so hard to hide his anger, but Louis saw it in the way his jaw set too tight and his hand tightened on the thigh. When Louis didn’t continue Harry released a breath out his nose before whispering, “Am I allowed to ask a question?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis jerked his head in a nod, what a strange request. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to upset you so don’t feel like you have to respond. But the men she liked to see you with, were they people you wanted to sleep with?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There it was. That very fine line that separated Louis from his trauma, “I allowed it to happen.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did you want it, Louis?” Harry asked again, voice a little too tight, “Or did she make you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“She never made me do anything.” Louis shook his head, “I was an adult and I made my decisions, but sitting in your nice car in a suit that you bought me, I just got anxious.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would never do that, Louis.” Harry shook his head, voice soft, “You are the most precious thing to me and I would never let anyone touch you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Louis shook his head, “I swear every rational part of my mind knows that but…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“But emotion is not rational.” Harry nodded, “So any thoughts about where we should get brunch?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, Harry.” Louis reached out, placing a hand over Harry’s, “I’d like for you to prove me wrong, please. I want to go.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry looked at their joined hands, “Ok.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The party was nice, on a rooftop of some high rise, a large pool sat in the middle surrounded by multiple terraces. Everyone was dressed in fine clothes, but Harry was by far the most attractive person there (in Louis’ completely unbiased opinion). </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry’s hand on his waist kept him present, as he nervously watched people shuffle by. The champagne flute in Louis’ hand had been empty for almost five minutes at this point but none of the waiters had ventured his way, so he grasped at his nervously. His fingerprints practically seared onto the side, but the gentle small talk with Harry made the event more manageable. The taller man paused mid sentence spotting his friends on the lower level, “Can I introduce you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis smiled a little, “I’d like that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry dipped to drop a kiss onto his cheek before stealing his flute and setting it on a railing. His large hands sent a wave of calm through Louis’ nervous body when they pressed onto his neck steering him towards the other boys. They paused in front of the handsome pair and Harry greeted them casually, with a nod. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis this is Liam and Zayn.” Harry dropped his arm across Louis’ shoulders pulling him in, “Guys this is…” The pause sounded sappy without any intent and Louis blushed when Harry finally whispered, “Louis.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They both seemed to be taking Louis in but Liam’s smile broke across his face first, “It’s nice to finally meet the man who has been taking up all of  Harry’s time! I’m Liam.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis blushed but shook his hand, “Nice to meet you!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And we met the other night.” Zayn nodded, shaking the smaller man’s hand as well, “Sorry about that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No worries.” Louis cracked a wide smile, “It happens, right? We can blame that one on Niall.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Both men chuckled and nodded, Harry poking Zayn’s shoulder, “Niall gets away with murder between the two of you, serves him right.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Liam rolled his eyes, “He’s a good manager.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Uh huh.” Harry shot Louis a look, to which the smaller man wagged his eyebrows in return. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh don’t be sharing looks.” Liam joked, “So Louis tell me, did you two meet at the club? Because if you did then that means I brought you together. I’ve been telling Zayn here for years that I could be a matchmaker.”  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry tensed, and Louis bit his lip, “Actually…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s the one I wanted to kill in prison.” Harry had an uncharacteristic blush spread across his cheeks when the two other men busted out laughing. </span>
</p>
<p><span>“Are you kidding?” Liam shook his head when he finally caught his breath, and for just a moment Louis thought they were going to make fun of him but instead he announced, “Louis, I told him to move you into his cell! Zayn, I am a matchmaker!” </span><span><br/></span> <span>“That you are.” Zayn nodded, looking between Harry and Louis fondly. It seemed the boys liked him more now that they knew he’d been to prison. Birds of feather.</span></p>
<p>
  <span>After only twenty minutes of conversation, Louis was grateful he decided to come to this party because he really liked Liam and Zayn. Liam was outgoing and funny but so charismatic to a fault. His eyes glinted with genuine happiness when he listened to Louis’ words and more importantly his jokes. Even jokingly crowning him as the sass master from Doncaster prison.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn on the other hand was quieter, but when he did speak his words packed a punch. His jokes were low key but Louis caught himself on the end of a wink a few times and if he didn’t think Harry was the most gorgeous man alive he’d probably swoon. Harry seemed to have taken a back seat in the conversation lovingly keeping Louis under his arm and nodding whenever necessary. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to get another round, honey.” Harry pressed his lips into Louis’ ear and the shorter man shivered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Louis looked up, his smile warmed Harry’s stomach. The pair grinned at each other for a long moment before Louis nodded, “Ok, honey.” Harry tried desperately to hide his satisfied smile as he made his way to the bar, his man was getting along with his chosen family and he was in love. What could go wrong?</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Once Harry was gone Louis caught the pair before him sharing a look, “What?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn raised his eyebrows, “When’s the wedding?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis blushed and rolled his eyes, “I don’t know what you're talking about.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The pair just chuckled but Zayn paused, his face shifting into a sick little grin. And when Louis went to check, everything rolled to a halt. Hearing a voice he never thought he’d hear again, “Liam, so glad to see you could make it!” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like time slipped through his fingers, the sounds of the party narrowed to just a hollow high pitch hum. There before him stood the Judge, greeting Liam like they were old friends. Fuck. fuck. Fuck. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“You’re not going to get a better deal than this.” The Judge and district attorney, Peter, presented him with his plea bargain, “No one has to pay for your weakness other than you. It’s only four years.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“A-a-and she won’t get in trouble.” Louis asked, looking between the two. Peter rolled his eyes something like pity or disgust sliding across his face. </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>“Not at all.” The Judge grinned, “So sign.” </span>
  </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis.” The Judge looked utterly shocked to see Louis there and Louis couldn’t draw his eyes to his shoes quickly enough, “What could you possibly be doing here?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I-I…” Louis stuttered, his heart felt like a bomb about to explode and he took a step back but Liam sensed something was off. His new friend clapped a hand onto Louis’ shoulder. His deep brown eyes searching out Louis’ face with worry.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s here with me.” Liam’s voice went from friendly to dark in an instant and Louis caught a glimpse of the heir to a crime family, not just some charming young man, “Do you two know each other.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn took a step forward as well. Placing himself between the Judge and Louis on the other side. Missing a hard look from Zayn, that he wouldn’t have been able to decipher anyways. Louis effectively stood across a small circle from the Judge. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh,” The Judge looked between the three, eyeing them up before nodding, sweat gathering on his brow, “We are familiar. Louis, tell me, aren’t you supposed to be in prison still?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded quickly, whispering,  “I got out early.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Early, huh?” The Judge rolled his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I-I-I wouldn’t have come if I knew…” Louis’ voice wavered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The Judge scoffed, “I’m to believe this is a coincidence?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you know Louis?” Liam questioned, stepping in before Louis could sputter out another lame defense. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Louis, here, used to date my daughter. Isn’t that right?” The Judge grunted in disgust, eyes shifting over the smallest boy’s form.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Y-y-yeah.” Liam looked confused for a moment and then suddenly Harry was back. The taller man looked between the group and dropped a firm hand onto the junction of Louis’ shoulder and neck, like he had all night. And Louis sagged grateful for the grounding touch. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Harry, turns out your boy knows our Judge.” Liam shot Harry a slight look, to which Harry just shook his head at. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You know him?” Harry asked, looking at Louis confused before understanding dawned on his face. If not by the fact that he knew Louis’ ex’s father was a judge then by the pale sickly look on Louis’ face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Louis’ voice was soft in a way that Harry didn’t like. That made him angry. Louis wasn’t some defeated creature, and Harry would prove that. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When the curly haired man looked back up his face was dark, “Oh.” Seeing the Judge with new angrier eyes. Harry didn’t like the way Louis’ eyes jumped around nervously or the way he swayed unintentionally on his feet, “We can go, Lou.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis looked up at Harry quickly and nodded, “Please.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Harry went to excuse them both, ignoring the strange looks Liam and Zayn were sending him, another man interrupted, “Hey there, William isn’t doing well so I think we’re going to head out.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ok.” The Judge nodded, going to say something more that Louis didn’t catch. If Peter was here then that meant...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry watched as the man smiled shallowly at the group before looking back at the Judge. Dressed in a nice suit and sporting a crafted smile he looked like the American Psycho, and Harry’s blood boiled when he did a double take on Louis. His eyes were sharp as they took in the smaller man, “Louis Tomlinson, is that you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry felt Louis stiffen after a soft flinch but he never raised his eyes. He didn’t respond other than shuffling closer to Harry, “Oh, pretty thing, didn’t anyone ever teach you it’s rude to ignore someone when they’re talking to you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis flinched again but raised his eyes to meet the other man, “S-sorry.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry had enough, he simultaneously pressed Louis a step behind him while taking a step closer to the man in front of him, “Don’t talk to him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Excuse me, do I know you?” He took a step forward as well, so now the men, equal in height, stood only inches apart. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, but I know you.” Harry nodded, looking him up and down, growling when he noticed the man shift his eyes to Louis’ behind him, “Don’t. Look. At. Him.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The man laughed, rolling his eyes, “I don’t know what kind of stories Louis has been telling you but I am a happily married man.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Speaking of which.” The Judge muttered. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Peter, if we don’t leave now then William will literally cry the whole way home.” Harry spotted her and knew who it was in an instant. He had to admit that when he pictured her he thought of a tall full figured woman, like some dark she devil. He certainly didn’t picture a 5’6” platinum blonde ivy league barbie but he knew. This was the woman he vowed to end. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What the hell, Peter.” She huffed, “I literally just asked you to tell my dad we were leaving. How hard is that? What are you doing? Are you trying to fight someone?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry took a step back despite every bone in his body telling him to strangle the blonde devil before him. If she didn’t have a small boy in her arms he might have, instead he reached back for Louis. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter met her eyes where he stood and then shifted them to Louis, as well. She followed his gaze and her jaw actually dropped when she noticed him. Currently he was trying to make himself smaller but it didn’t work, “Louis Tomlinson.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His eyes flickered up and he nodded, “Hi Olivia.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aren’t you supposed to be in prison?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis gulped, “Got out on good behavior and overcrowding.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Well, we always knew you could behave.” She laughed, but threw her husband a dirty look when he huffed in agreement, “Peter, go get the car.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He looked less than impressed but nodded, “See you around, Lou.” And Louis flinched like the words were a threat and not a casual farewell. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry could feel Louis’ shoulders tense under his arm, Olivia taking in the connection, “So Louis what’ve you been up to?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’ve been working.” Louis whispered, pulling his arms closer to his body, eyes tracking to the kid in her arms. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry finally pulled his glare off the woman and acknowledged the little boy wiggling in his mother’s arms. He looked familiar, but Harry couldn’t tell you why, “Finish your degree yet?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Louis blushed, finally taking his eyes off the boy in Olivia’s arms, “Whose this?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“This is William.” She nodded towards the boy who was now huffing angry sounds. The Judge was trying to speak to him but he just shook his head and fought angrily against the woman. The boy’s eyes clenched shut and he balled his fist up hitting himself in the face. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis stepped forward without thinking, whispering, “Hey there, sunshine.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The boy stilled at the sound, turning to frown at Louis but that’s all it took for Harry to place that familiar look. He’d seen that pout before. Those eyes, those cheeks, that chin. They were all Louis’. The kid was like a clone and Harry could bet Louis saw it too by the way he stepped even closer. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He’s a selective mute.” Olivia rolled her eyes explaining, like she couldn’t be more ashamed, “Almost in kindergarten and can’t talk.”  The boy turned to look back at his mom and began to wail painfully. Louis flinched at the sound stepping back into Harry’s side, “Well, I better get going but Louis we should meet up sometime for lunch or something.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis looked up to Harry who looked visibly shocked at the statement, responding before thinking it through, “I think he’s good.” Harry tightened his arm around Louis’ waist. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Olivia finally spared Harry a look, they eyed each other up like lions preparing to fight over a carcass. But she pursed her lips and turned to Louis one more time, “Always knew how to find yourself a man, didn’t you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis flinched at the words, staying silent. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis was silent the entire ride back to Harry’s apartment. Up into the elevator and through the doors, his eyes focused on something not physical. When he finally sat on the couch, Harry knelt before him. His hands clasping his knees and his head ducking to meet his eyes, “I’ll kill him for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What?” Louis’ voice was barely there. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That man, Peter.” Harry’s hand tightened when Louis flinched, “I’ll kill him just for looking at you like that. I don’t need a good reason, Lou. I’ll do it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He wasn’t that bad.” Louis shook his head, “I mean it’s not anything I didn’t allow.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Doesn’t matter.” Harry rose higher on his knees, “I’ll kill him and her. I’ll make sure she never gets a look at you again. I’ll do anything for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything?” Louis whispered, eyes finally meeting Harry’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Anything.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Tell me he’s not mine.” Louis’ hands loosely grabbed Harry’s.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The boy?” Harry whispered.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The boy.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t want to lie to you.” Harry tried to calm Louis’ sudden sobs by brushing over his thigh but that didn’t help, “Were you sleeping with her then?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis’ answers came around stuttered sobs, “I don’t know, Harry. I don’t know I was so high all the time and I’d wake up in her bed naked but I don’t know what happened. B-b-but he looks like me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He does.” Harry nodded, “Do you want him?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis sniffled, confused, “What do you mean?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“If he’s your son, do you want him?” Harry asked, “Do you want me to get him for you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like kidnap him?” Louis whispered, wiping his sleeve over his runny nose.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Harry explained, “I could blackmail her father into making her sign over custody.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You could do that?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He almost killed one of our people a few years back and we took care of it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Your people?” Louis was confused, was the Judge going around killing people.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sex work is the oldest known profession.” Harry explained, “We keep our people safe and they’re paid well. Noone’s forced to work for us.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Louis gulped, wiping his eyes and taking this in, “He almost killed one of them?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah and we got it on tape so he’ll do anything to keep his position. I’d bet even sell his grandson to me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis sniffled again, “He looked so scared and angry. W-w-what if she’s hurting him? Like-like s-s-she did to me?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Let me look into it ok?” Harry pressed his lips onto Louis’ temple, “Let me take care of this.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“What’s this I’m seeing about someone suing for custody of my son?” Peter slammed the door to the Judge’s home office open, Liam and Harry not even glancing to the fuming man. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” Liam’s face was just as devoid of emotion as Harry’s, “Full custody.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Like hell…” Peter rounded on the desk coming to stand behind the Judge, “...am I going to give some drug addict MY child.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry was fuming, standing in a flash, but Liam spoke before he could take action, “You’re delusional if you think that’s your child. He doesn’t look anything like you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“And what?” The man laughed, “You think just because that little whore gave him half his chromosomes, that he'll be a good parent.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better than you or your bitch of a wife.” Harry cocked his head, voice even but challenging. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t know anything about myself or my wife.” Peter lifted his chin, “And frankly, I’d say about that little slut either.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know more than enough about the two of you that I'd be happy to put you both six feet under.” Harry growled between gritted teeth, his fists clenching at his side.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter paled, but tried to play off his fear with a scoff, “That’s your plan? To threaten a D.A. and a Federal Judge.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nope.” Liam stood now, placing a single thumb drive onto the desk, “We plan to black mail you, though.” Harry’s eyebrows furrow for a moment looking down to the thumb drive he knew to be empty, as Liam asked him to bring it with him today.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Blackmail?” Peter hissed, “You don’t have anything on us.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“He doesn’t know?” Liam asked, looking to the Judge with pursed lips. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter looked down at the older man, sweating like a whore in church, sitting below him before rolling his eyes, “Fine. Then you have nothing on me. I won’t be giving up my child.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’d think again.” Liam glanced down to the empty thumb drive, “Louis was more than happy to supply us with some video evidence of just the type of people the good district attorney and his wife are. If I’m correct your wife is actually thinking about running for office, right? I’m sure the incumbent’s team would love to see this. ” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Video evidence?” Peter scoffed, eyeing the thumb drive with apprehension. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yup.” Liam continued, Harry remaining stoic to follow his lead, “I watched it myself. Some pretty depraved shit on there.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter shook his head, “I don’t believe it. He’s not smart enough.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“That's fine.” Liam shrugged, “I suppose I wouldn’t believe it either if someone told me the two of you enjoy torturing a crying, panicked young man. I mean if I didn’t know better I might even guess he was underage, that youthful face and all. By the time a responsible journalist finds out whether or not that’s true, I’m sure the tabloids will have already ran with their own assumptions. I mean the video will certainly…” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The whore wanted it. He wanted every single thing I did to him. He’s a--” Peter gritted out. That was the final straw, Harry was on the district attorney in a heartbeat, hand gripping his collar. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You are a deplorable man and your wife is a heinous sadist.” Harry growled, pulling the man in tight, “If you don’t sign over parental rights to Louis then I will make sure every single terrible thing that cunt ever did to him is done to her. I’ll make her cry and scream until she understands even a fraction of what she put Louis through.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter sucked in a breath, “She won’t want to.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry hauled his fist back, slamming it into the other man’s nose. If not for the grip on his collar Peter would have fallen from the impact, “Convince her and then if I ever see you or that cunt near MY Louis again, you will spend hours in unending pain that even death will not resolve.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Peter flinched at the words, nodding in understanding. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How did you know?” Harry asked, once back in the car. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I was bluffing.” Liam shrugged, shaking his head, “But I could just tell by the way he looked at Louis. People like that can’t hide for too long.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I want him dead.” Harry whispered, “I want them both dead.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“In a few years.” Liam nodded, “It’d be too suspicious now but I’ll make sure it happens. God, those people are irredeemable.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Harry texted Louis to meet him in his office at one, so Louis sat in his chair waiting for him to arrive. It’d been a week since the party, since Louis found out he might have a son. Harry had been less attentive all week, taking phone calls and disappearing for a few hours at a time. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey.” Louis quickly looked up from his phone noticing Zayn in the doorway. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey!” Louis looked around, “Harry’s not here.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I know.” Zayn nodded, “I was actually looking for you.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, what’s up?” Louis gulped, watching Zayn come further into the office and take the seat on the other side of the desk. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Umm you don’t have to talk to me about it but I wanted to check in with you after last weekend.” Zayn sounded just as uncomfortable as Louis was feeling. The few times he’d met the man before he had come across hard and apathetic, now was different.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh yeah.” The smaller man blushed, “Sorry about that.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You don’t have to apologize.” Zayn shrugged, “Judge Wilson’s daughter...”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Olivia?” Louis whispered, the name ruined for him. Even now the weight of the name brought a shudder to his breath.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah she…” Zayn paused like he was looking for the words, “I don’t mean to assume anything but...” Zayn paused again, clearly unnerved by whatever he was trying to say, finally just blowing out a sigh before lifting his shirt to reveal a scar visible on his side and continuing onto his back, “I used to work for Liam’s family as a prostitute.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh.” Louis blushed, “Did someone hurt you?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Zayn nodded, “I used to let a lot of people hurt me but it was mostly consensual until one of my clients went too far and almost killed me.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis connected the dots, “The Judge?” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Did Harry tell you?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No.” Louis shook his head vigorously, “He said that Liam had something like that over the Judge and I just made a leap in logic.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah. He beat the shit out of me and I almost died, luckily my usual pimp, I guess, wasn’t there. But Liam was nearby and I had his number so I called. I honestly wasn’t even sure he’d care....” Zayn huffed out a breath, like this story physically hurt to tell, “Anyways I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis nodded, before lifting his shirt, “Olivia burnt me so bad I had to go to the ER.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn shook his head, a humorless laugh rolling off his lips, “Family of psychopaths.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“How do you stand to see him?” Louis whispered, “After what he did.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn actually grinned, “We only go to those parties because I want to. I like to watch him sweat knowing that we have that over him. He acts like he doesn’t see me but I know he does. In fact, Liam and Harry almost killed him before they realized he was worth more to them alive. I think I’d prefer him dead but...” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn shrugged and Louis watched the other man for a second. It took him a moment to recognize the expression on the other man’s face, but once he placed it he finally looked away. He’d seen that look in the mirror so many times before. The look of impotent anger, of feeling betrayed but the only perpetrator was yourself. The look of a man fighting a demon that no longer held a place anywhere other than the darkest parts of one’s own mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Is it bad that I don’t want her dead.” Louis swallowed thickly. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, I think however you deal is up to you but…” Zayn shook his finger at the smaller boy, “...don’t you ever go back.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I don’t think Harry would let me.” Louis laughed, “I don’t think I’d make it out alive, if I did.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn nodded. It was weird for both of them. Louis didn’t feel the heat of shame coat his cheeks and Zayn didn’t flicker his eyes away. It was like looking into a mirror, there was no reason to be embarrassed or guilty, “Hell, I won’t let you go back at this point. I’ll come drag your ass away.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Louis laughed but felt the warmth of affection brew in his chest. He lent forward after a comfortable pause, “Do you ever wonder if a-a-a person can learn to love someone after what you’ve been through? Like do you ever feel like you’re damaged goods. Too broken for anyone to find valuable again?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The darker man bit his lip before tossing a look over his shoulder, to make sure they were still alone, “Between me and you? I know that a person can love again.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Liam?” Louis asked, gently. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Zayn nodded, “It took a while and there are days, even now, that I want to crawl out of my skin thinking about all the things I let people do to me-what I let happen to me-but I know that doesn’t define me.” Louis nodded, because he  could understand that, “And Louis? He’s lucky to have you. You aren’t damaged goods.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I might add a Ziam prequel one shot after this.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You just know harry's going to be a natural dad. </p>
<p>also I've only ever taken AP phych so plz no hate on the psych eval!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis and Zayn’s conversation lightened until they were just shooting the shit about some tv show they were both watching. The blue eyed man came to the sudden realization that Zayn was his first real friend in a long time. Not including Harry, but Harry could never just be a friend. </p>
<p>The knock at the door disrupted the pair who turned to see Harry holding the hand of a small child, “Uhh Harry?” </p>
<p>The taller man nodded, “Zayn do you mind keeping an eye on little William here while I talk to Louis in the hall.” </p>
<p>Zayn looked between the three before nodding. Once out in the hall Louis released a shaky breath, “Harry?”</p>
<p>“I know. It’s sudden.” Harry placed his hands onto Louis’ shoulders. “But we can handle this.” </p>
<p>“Can we?” Louis whispered. </p>
<p>“I know we can, Lou.” Harry whispered, dropping his hands into Louis’.</p>
<p>“I don’t have a room for him or even a clue about how to take care of kids. Plus I don’t want to have to see her when we trade him back.” Louis whimpered, “What-what…”</p>
<p>“We won’t be trading him back.” Harry bit his lip, “I got you full custody.”</p>
<p>“What! How?” Louis was spiraling, his shitty little apartment was no place for a little kid and he didn’t know the basic food groups himself so how was he supposed to feed a kid. </p>
<p>“Louis. Louis. Louis.” Harry quickly gripped the smaller man’s face between his hands, “Stay with me. It’s going to be ok. I called my landlord and he has a two bedroom available a floor above mine. He said I could move in next week.” </p>
<p>“Your place?” Louis questioned, “He’ll have a room?” </p>
<p>“Yeah,” Harry’s tone was overly soft, “I’ll get him a bed and I’ll watch him while you’re at work. We’ll put him in school and it’ll be ok.” </p>
<p>“Why?” Louis whimpered, “Why are you doing this?” </p>
<p>“Because it’s what’s best.” Harry whispered, pressing a kiss to Louis’ temple, taking his body into his arms, “She can’t hurt you or any part of you, including that boy, anymore.”</p>
<p>Louis breath stuttered, nodding, “Ok. Ok.”</p>
<p> “I’ll keep you and your son safe. I’ll keep you fed and warm. I’ll love you, both.” Harry’s hands gentled on Louis’ face, brushing over his cheek, “All you have to do is stay.”</p>
<p>Louis gulped, eyes wide and unseeing, staring into Harry’s shoulder, “Ok.” </p>
<p>“Ok?” Harry pulled back, “This will work.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It didn’t take the pair long to see the little boy was different than most others his age. He was sullen and distant for the first couple of days then one day he just blew up. And that was how he was now. Smashing anything he could get his hands on and screaming until it sounded painful. He wouldn’t eat unless he was alone and wouldn’t even play with the numerous toys they got him. </p>
<p> After one particularly long night, Harry found Louis silently sobbing outside William’s door, his knuckles shoved into his mouth to stop sounds from escaping. William had been especially physical tonight, leaving bloody scratches on Louis’ arms at bathtime and kicking him in the nuts when he was put into bed. </p>
<p>Harry sighed a little huff before picking Louis up and walking across the floor to their room. He kicked the door shut with ease and dropped Louis’ onto the bed. The smaller man just sucked in shaky breath, he couldn’t stop the tears. </p>
<p>Staring widely as Harry dropped to his knees on the bed and stalked Louis to the headboard. For every inch Harry gained Louis wobbled back until his back was flush with the black steel and the wall. Harry dropped his lips to Louis’ cheek, brushing his other cheek clear of tears, “Can I help you, baby?” </p>
<p>Louis sniffled but nodded, “P-p-please?” </p>
<p>A soft kiss landed on Louis’ cheek before Harry moved away, pausing when Louis whined, “Just a minute, ok?” </p>
<p>Louis watched with wide watery eyes as Harry searched through the bedside table before pulling out a length of rope. When Harry was again in front of him, Louis gulped, trying to remind himself that he trusted Harry. That Harry doesn’t hurt him. That Harry helps him. </p>
<p>“What’s your safe word?” Harry questioned, not touching the boy in front of him. Louis looked down to the larger man’s knees just inches away from him. Olivia used to change the safeword so often that Louis never remembered it. Like she’s stop if he did. Louis' jaw locked closed, so afraid he’d make one up and then forget it. So afraid that Harry would ruin the beautiful thing that they had by not knowing when he was scared, “How about the stoplight system?” </p>
<p>Louis glanced up, “Stoplight?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, red means stop. Yellow means slow down. And green means go?” Harry explained, words clear and eyes patient. </p>
<p>That seems easy enough, “Ok.”</p>
<p>“Ok?” Harry whispered, “Now I want you to ask me.” </p>
<p>“Ask you?” Louis whispered, his tears were long gone just a sticky, salty residue on his cheeks and lashed. </p>
<p>“Whatever we do right now is because you want it. I won’t take what you don’t give.” Harry nodded, “So if you want me to help you by tying you up I will.”</p>
<p>“You don’t want it?” Louis knew he sounded insecure, scared, “We d-don’t…” </p>
<p>“That’s not what I said.” Harry’s words might as well have been firm fingers around his chin, hushing him, “Tonight is about you. What do you want?” </p>
<p>Louis felt his dick jump, biting his lip and resisting the urge to palm him crotch, “Would you…” Louis clenched his fists, his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted this. He wanted Harry to prove himself good and worthy but he was scared. So scared, “I-I’m scared, H.” </p>
<p>“I know you are.” Harry finally, finally let his hand cup Louis’ cheek, fingers soft and reassuring. Louis lent into the pressure, preening as Harry brushed through Louis’ hair, over his ear and around the nape of his neck, “I will do whatever you want. I will stop when you ask and I won’t hurt you. But you need to ask.”</p>
<p>Louis allowed his eyes to flutter close, “Will you please…” Harry’s thumb brushed to side of his neck urging him on, “Will you please tie me up? Help me down?” </p>
<p>“Of course, baby.” Harry brought his lips to just below Louis’ ear pressing softly into the skin there, “Do you want your hands together or apart.” </p>
<p>Louis tried settled a little further into the bed, nosing into Harry’s ear, “Together, please.” </p>
<p>“Of course, my love.” Harry hands were firm on Louis’ thighs as he slowly pulled him down the bed, until the larger man held his weight above Louis’ chest. Goosebumps chased Harry’s hands up Louis’ arms until they both met at the smaller boy’s wrists. Louis watched with hooded eyes as Harry wrapped an impossibly soft rope expertly around both his wrists and then bound them to the headboard. </p>
<p>Giving an experimental tug, he found himself secure, looking up to find Harry’s face already hovering above his, “What’s your color, baby?” </p>
<p>“Uhhhh green, I think...” Louis nodded, uncertainty. </p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Harry asked, hands resisting the urge to touch until he knew Louis was content, “If you need to think, or you need time to adjust you can let me know.” </p>
<p>Louis nodded, again, pulling at his wrists one more time before whispering, “You’ll let me go if I ask?” </p>
<p>“I won’t hesitate, Louis.” Harry was solemn with his promise. </p>
<p>“Ok.” One last shaky breath before whispering, “Green.” </p>
<p>“Ok.” Harry smiled, dipping his lips down to kiss and suck small marks into Louis’ neck and down to his collar. Nimble fingers, undoing top button of Louis’ shirt so he could access his chest. Peeking his eyes up to take in blue eyes and flushed pink lips, as his tongue skirted over Louis’ hard nipple. </p>
<p>“G-g-good.” Louis whimpered. His mind still stuck somewhere between Harry before him and the utter shitshow of a day behind him.</p>
<p>“Mmm happy to please.” Harry hummed into the skin of Louis’ stomach, “Baby, what’re you thinking about? Hmmm, tell me why you were crying?”</p>
<p>Louis froze, “What?” </p>
<p>“Tell me why you were crying?” Harry repeated just as calm as before, continuing his way down Louis’ stomach until he reached the waistband of his pants. Then beginning his ascent. </p>
<p>“I-I-I w-was scared.” Louis bit his lip. </p>
<p>“Scared?” Harry asked, “What were you scared of?” </p>
<p>Louis’ lips trembled as Harry reattached his lips to Louis’ nipple, “I’m scared of failing him.” </p>
<p>“William?” Harry asked, now face to face with Louis, “You think you’re failing him?” </p>
<p>“He cries and screams, H.” Louis felt tears pool in his eyes again, “What if I’m just making it worse? What if I’m hurting him?” </p>
<p>Harry wiped Louis’ tears as he spoke, nodding, “What if I get him into a specialist? See what they have to say? Would that make you feel better.” </p>
<p>Louis gulped, a breath of relief catching in his throat, why hadn’t he thought of that? Kids these days have a million specialists, “Yeah.”</p>
<p>Harry grinned down at the man below him, squeezing his things tighter to draw Louis’ attention back to him, “Ok, now that that’s settled, I want you to focus on me.” </p>
<p>Louis blushed, a red dusting coating his neck, chest, and belly, “Yeah?” </p>
<p>“Yeah.” Harry spoke into Louis’ mouth, “You keep your eye on me while I’m fucking you.” </p>
<p>Louis giggled breathily, “Yes.” </p>
<p>“Yes, who?” Harry whispered, fingers gripping Louis’ chin tightly, tilting his head up just right.</p>
<p>“Yes, daddy.” Louis mumbled, smiling sheepishly as Harry grinned above him. Harry brought his hands to Louis’ ribs tracing his lips path back down to the smaller man’s loose joggers.</p>
<p>Louis lifted his hips so Harry could get his underwear off, whimpering as Harry took Louis’ cock into his mouth. Warm and wet, sucking a bit as he bobbed up and down before dipping into the slit.</p>
<p>Louis tried not to squirm too much, hands gripping the rope tying his hands to the bed by his head. He gave up on that when a slick finger started pushing into him.</p>
<p>He was moaning continuously as he pushed back against Harry’s finger then arched up into his mouth. Harry didn’t seem to mind, encouraging Louis with a hand on his hip, pressing himself deeper into the taller man’s mouth.</p>
<p>Finally, there were three fingers in him, teasing his prostate but never applying any real pressure, “Harry, please,” Louis pleaded.</p>
<p>Harry slowly drew himself off of Louis’ cock. “Tell me what you want, baby.”</p>
<p>”Fuck me, Harry, please.”</p>
<p>”As you wish, my love.”</p>
<p>Harry straightened up, wrapping one of Louis’ legs around his waist and hooking the other over his shoulder. He stroked his cock a few times, slicking it, before pressing—wonderfully bare—against Louis’ slicked hole.</p>
<p>”Yes.”</p>
<p>Harry was being so careful with him again, slowly entering Louis. He was grateful for the leverage Harry had given him, using his legs to pull Harry close and get all of his cock inside him in one go.</p>
<p>He wondered, belatedly, as he whimpered his pleasure, if they should soundproof the bedroom. Now that they had a kid.</p>
<p>”What a needy little thing.” Harry grunted, softly.</p>
<p>Harry started thrusting, going hard and fast right away, punching groans and moans and broken cries of Harry’s name out of Louis’ mouth. Drool leaked out of the corner of his lip.</p>
<p>Harry licked it off before plunging his tongue into Louis’ mouth, swallowing each sound he made. His cock felt so fucking good, just bare skin on bare skin and just the thought of it had Louis’ whimpering, tugging trechourly against his binds. How badly did he want to tug Harry’s head to his, grasp his curls in his hands. </p>
<p>He bit Harry’s lip when his prostate was hit and blanching softly at the taste of blood. </p>
<p>”Fuck, so-orry,” Louis said. He licked a drop of blood off his own lip, Harry’s eyes flashing as he followed the movement. He slammed against Louis’ prostate harder. The aggression seemed to turn Harry on more, forcing a whimper of pleasure from Louis’ mouth. Returning to finish the kiss once interrupted. </p>
<p>Harry got a hand into Louis’ hair, gripping him tightly. His head hit the bed with a dull thump and Louis’ moaned. Harry separated from him enough to get a hand between them and wrap it around Louis’ cock.</p>
<p>Louis cried out, hands fisting in their secured place, “Fuck, Harry.”</p>
<p>The combined attack on his cock and prostate pushed him closer to his climax, eyes fluttering shut. A stream of Harry, Harry, Harry left his lips. Harry’s free hand stroked over Louis’ bare chest and down to his butt. His thrusts had gone short and fast, drilling Louis’ sweet spot.</p>
<p>”Make me come?,” Louis begged. “Fill me up, please. Please, Harry, please.”</p>
<p>”Louis,” Harry groaned. His hand moved faster, firmer up and down Louis’ leaking cock.</p>
<p>Louis arched his back, trying his best to conceal a shout as he came. Harry followed soon after, burying his cock as deep as he could in Louis’ ass. Louis trembled as he felt more fluid fill him.</p>
<p>”So good,” Louis whispered.</p>
<p>Harry chuckled, pressing kisses to Louis’ neck as they came down from their high. He let Louis’ legs go, letting them relax. Still connected, Harry’s fingers, worked steady touches up Louis’ arm until he got to his wrists, “What’s your color?” </p>
<p>	“Green.” Louis was breathless, fingers wiggling with the need to touch Harry’s skin. </p>
<p>“You want to stay bound?” Harry chuckled, egging Louis on to ask. To demand what he wanted. </p>
<p>“Wanna touch you.” Louis whined, shifting his hips, and feeling Harry’s soft cock and the squelch of semen inside of him.</p>
<p>God, he blushed, thinking of Harry’s come come inside of him.</p>
<p>Harry relented easily, “As you wish, my love.”</p>
<p>Louis sighed as Harry undid the knots with skilled fingers, holding his wrists tightly before the smaller man could pull away. Louis whimpered but he quickly finding the firm circles Harry was rubbing into his skin much more appealing. </p>
<p>“Feels good,” Louis mumbled, arching his back to kick a leg over Harry’s body, snuggling onto his side. Once Harry was satisfied with Louis’ wrists, he took to pressing soft fingers across Harry’s chest, lazily sucked a bruise onto the skin there. Harry tilted his head, watching Louis as he worked his way across his chest. .</p>
<p>”Are you happy?” Harry asked, offhandedly while stroking his hand through Louis’ hair, “Did I make you happy?” </p>
<p>”Very,” Louis didn’t even hesitate. “Kiss me, please?”</p>
<p>Harry obeyed, pulling Louis face closer so their lips could press together, petting through Harry’s hair. Louis wrapped his tired arms around broad shoulders, content for now. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Louis watched William on the ground, he sat beside a box of toys not even looking at them. A complicated frown on his face, while they waited for their appointment. The smaller man rose from the psychologist's couch and squatted before the little boy, “Hey there, William.” The boy didn’t look up, “You know you can play with these toys? Any of them.” </p>
<p>	The boy flashed his eyes to the bin before shaking his head, Harry came to squat beside Louis, completely serious when grabbing a little plastic toy, “This one looks really cool.”</p>
<p>	Louis grinned at the pokemon action figure, “Oh yeah I think that wants called Charzard.”</p>
<p>	“Charmander.” William’s voice was a husky whisper when he spoke, like he didn’t use it often. Eyes flicking to Louis before looking away, quickly. </p>
<p>	“Oh right,” Louis held the figure in his hand between the three of them, “Do you want to play with it?”</p>
<p>	The boy carefully grabbed the toy like he thought this was a trick. His eyes dancing between the two men in front of him. His little chubby hand tightening on the figurine just looking it over. The soft knock on the door had both Harry and Louis rising to stand. </p>
<p>	“Hey there.” The man that stepped through the door had short curly hair, eyes fixed on Harry like one would stare at a wild animal, “How’re we today?” </p>
<p>	Louis looked to Harry nervously, before smiling kindly, “Umm we’re ok. Thank you for seeing us on such short notice.”</p>
<p>	“Of course,” The man eyed Harry again, “Gemma said you needed a favor?”</p>
<p>	Harry nodded, a little stiffly, Louis could tell he was nervous, “Umm yeah, this is my…” </p>
<p>	He looked at Louis like a deer in the headlights not sure what to call him, so Louis stepped forward, “I’m Louis.” </p>
<p>	“Nice to meet you Louis. I’m Dr. Irwin, but you can just call me Ashton.” The man smiled, peeking around Louis’ legs at William, “And you must be William.” </p>
<p>	The boy didn’t respond, just watching the pokemon figurine in his hands, “Yeah, this is my son, William.” </p>
<p>	“Ok, well why don’t you two wait outside while I have a little chat with William.” The doctor smiled encouragingly, “I’ll come out in a little bit.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Sitting in the waiting room, Louis’ leg bounced nervously until Harry landed a hand on his thigh. They looked at each other for a long moment before Louis whispered, “How do you know this guy? He’s not gonna mess William up more, right?” </p>
<p>	“I should hope not.” Harry huffed, “He’s my brother-in-law.” </p>
<p>	Louis’ head cocked, thinking over this information, “So Gemma is…” </p>
<p>	“My sister.” Harry nodded. </p>
<p>	“Why is he afraid of you?” Louis nodded to the door. </p>
<p>	“You caught that?” Harry whispered, embarrassment clear across his face, “Uhh they know what I do for a living and Gemma’s ok with it but Ashton is scared of me. Not to mention I wasn’t the most well behaved teenager. I’m sure Ashton has heard the stories.”</p>
<p>	“Oh.” Louis' foot began to bounce again, eyes unwavering on the door. </p>
<p>	“It’s gonna be ok, Lou.” Harry smiled at him, “I promise no matter what he says, he’s a good boy and we’ll make it work.” </p>
<p>	Louis gulped, nodding his head before reaching over to grab Harry’s hand, “You’re a good man, Harry.” </p>
<p>	Harry chuckled, smiling down at their connected hands, before bringing Louis’ knuckles to his lips, “If I ever did anything right in this life, it was finding you.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	“So what’s the verdict?” Louis gulped, watching Ashton who sat across from Louis and Harry. </p>
<p>	“Well I’m not technically specialized in Spectrum disorders, but it’s in my medical opinion that William is not autistic.” Ashton looked over his notes, “I think he may have some sensory processing issues but I don’t necessarily think it’s related to autism.” </p>
<p>	“What is it then?” Louis whispered, “I mean when I looked it up they said not making eye contact, not talking, and missing milestones could be indicators.”</p>
<p>	“Those definitely are but…” Ashton leaned forward, looking between the two, “I don’t want to step on toes here but I think your son has post traumatic stress disorder.”</p>
<p>“PTSD?” Louis gulped, he’d heard of that before, but that was usually in soldiers coming home from war not little boys. </p>
<p>“Stemming from trauma.” Ashton whispered purposefully not looking to Harry.</p>
<p>	“He was abused?” Louis’ voice shook, tears collecting in his eyes. Harry’s hand on his knee was the only thing holding him down. </p>
<p>	“There are a few signs of physical abuse, so I do think he may have been hit in the past. But specifically I’m noticing what I’d classify as an avoidant attachment style.” Ashton looked so uncomfortable and Louis didn’t understand why until Harry spoke. </p>
<p>	“He was being raised by Louis’ ex until a couple of weeks ago.” Harry glanced at Louis before continuing, slightly uneasy, “She is a terrible person.... Louis”</p>
<p>	Louis gulped, catching Harry’s eyes before looking back to Ashton. Men don’t get abused by women so didn’t even know how to phrase this, blushing he whispered, “She liked to hurt me.”</p>
<p>	“Physically?” Ashton asked, voice gentle from years of talking to kids, “Did she gaslight you?”</p>
<p>	“Gaslight?” </p>
<p>	“Was she manipulative? Say things and then later when you tried to bring it up claim she didn’t say them?”</p>
<p>	“Oh yeah.” Louis nodded, gripping Harry’s hand, “She also would do things and then say she didn’t. She wasn’t very kind.” </p>
<p>“Ok, well obviously William didn’t tell me any of this but I think she may have really messed with his head.” Ashton sighed, like he was terrified of sending that child home with the person that got William into where he was now, “If this was a normal situation, I would have called child protective services because I do think William was being abused.” </p>
<p>	“Oh, I’d never hurt him.” Louis began, gripping Harry’s hand tighter, “Do you think she did that to him? What she did to me?” </p>
<p>	“It’s different and sometimes much worse for children being abused by their parents. He’s just a small child still so he probably can’t even voice the way she made him feel. For instance, what could have affected him was being punished without rhyme or reason which makes him extremely insecure in his surroundings. He’s not sure what is allowed or not so he’ll tend towards inaction or extreme overreaction.”</p>
<p>	“Oh yeah, he does that.” Louis looked over to Harry who nodded, encouragingly, “Sometimes he’s so distant it’s like he’s not even there and then other times it’s like he’s so angry all he wants to do is hurt me.”</p>
<p> Ashton nodded continuing, “It seems to me that he’s definitely struggling with some demons here. I think that he may never talk about how it was before but what we can work on moving forward is showing him it’s not like that anymore.”</p>
<p>	“Ok, so how can I help him?” Louis asked, “How can I make him feel safe?” </p>
<p>	“I’d set rules but set them with his input. Explain to him and have him explain them back as to why they’re actually there for his safety and when he breaks a rule don’t be mad. Sit him down and talk to him about what happened. I never recommend physical punishments but for him specially I wouldn’t even grab him when he’s misbehaving. If you absolutely have to, and I can show you how to do this, I’d use a basket hold just to protect him from himself.” </p>
<p>	“Ok?” Louis looked over to Harry who was staring Ashton down like an attentive father. Actively noting what the therapist was saying, which made him feel a little less overwhelmed. When Harry finally glanced back to Louis he shot him a soft smile and little nod. As if to say they’d get through this. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	Setting the rules wasn’t particularly hard, William stared at Louis and Harry as they wrote on the wipe board. He looked confused, eyes squinting as Louis spoke softly. Hitting hurts people so we don’t hit. Screaming just makes you feel worse so we don’t scream. Eating alone makes you lonely so we eat together. </p>
<p>	William reluctantly repeated them back. Just short phrases. Later that same day, Louis caught William striking out at Harry. He was quick to move into action but before he could even catch their attention Harry shook his head, gently grabbing the toy from the boy’s hands, “Hey there, Sonny boy, what'd we say about hitting?” </p>
<p>	William looked angry for a long moment, before frowning like he was confused, not angry, “Sonny?”</p>
<p>	“Yeah?” Harry smiled softly, he knew he was supposed to be serious but he couldn’t help but see Louis’ little pout on William’s face. God, he loved that man. Pressing just a single finger into William’s tummy, “That’s you. You’re Sonny boy, now tell me is hitting allowed?” </p>
<p>	“No.” William frowned, guilt clear on his face, “Bad boy corner?” </p>
<p>	“No.” Harry shook his head, “The bad boy corner is for big mess ups and this was just a little thing, right? But we’re not going to do it again.” </p>
<p>	William nodded, “No hitting cause hurts people.” </p>
<p>	“Ahh there’s my smart boy. Now, we’re gonna be good for daddy, right? No more hitting?” Harry smiled, handing William back his toy, the little pokemon he stole from Ashton’s office. William nodded, a shy little smile on his face. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>	William was so smart. Within two weeks he knew the rules and stuck to them like glue. There were still a few tantrums but after they all resulted in a little corner time and a soft easy conversation William began to learn he was safe here. He began eating his food at real mealtimes with Harry and Louis. He even stopped throwing nuclear level tantrums at bath time. </p>
<p>Every day he grew less shy, more comfortable. One morning he caught Harry swatting Louis’ butt playfully, and ran full speed across the room, “No hitting. Say sorry to Daddy!” </p>
<p>Louis paused, he knew Harry referred to him as Daddy when speaking to William but the little boy hadn’t called him that yet. Harry took it in stride, bending down to cup the little boys face, “Ahh I’m sorry, Sonny boy, you’re right. I shouldn’t hit daddy.” Then while still crouching he looked up to Louis with a sappy smile, “Will you forgive me, daddy?” </p>
<p>Louis blushed, but nodded, crouching down to kiss Harry’s cheek, “Of course, </p>
<p>Harry turned back to William, “Do I deserve to go to the bad boy corner?” </p>
<p>“No, papa.” William giggled, “Just a little thing.” </p>
<p>	“Ok, William!” Louis turned, opening the pantry, “Do you want eggs or pancakes for breakfast?” When he didn’t get a response, he turned back around to find William staring at him from his designated stool, “Eggs or pancakes, William?” </p>
<p>	“Not William.” He shook his head, lowering his chin to the counter, “No William.” </p>
<p>	“You’re not William, bud?” Harry asked, standing beside Louis, “Who are you?” </p>
<p>	“Sonny.” the boy smiled brightly, “‘M Sonny!” </p>
<p>	“Oh that’s right!” Harry grinned widely, “You are my Sonny boy, aren’t you?” </p>
<p>	William giggled, holding his tummy as Harry tried to land tickles there, “Ok, Sonny what do you want for breakfast?” </p>
<p>	“Pancakes for Sonny!” The boy announced, Harry and Louis grinned at each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“What?” Louis whispered, flinching at the tone, “What’d I do?” </p><p>	“What’d you do?” Harry whispered in disbelief, a quick hand striking out to grab Louis’ arm, “What didn’t you do? Your test lit up like a fucking christmas tree! How could you do this to me? To Sonny? Have you been getting high with him around?” </p><p>	“What? No!” Louis’ voice was hoarse with the pressure of his throat tightening in fear, his skin buzzing painfully, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Harry’s hand was too tight. It hurt too much. </p><p>	“No? You weren’t using with him around?” Harry bit out, “After everything he’s been through you’re gonna do this to him?” </p><p>	“H-h-harry…” Louis whispered, fighting back tears in his eyes, “I didn’t take anything. I didn’t!” </p><p>	“What? So your test was a lie?” Harry yelled, “Niall faked it? Jesus, Louis! You could have just asked for help. I knew I shouldn’t have started fucking you again. I should have known you were going to mess up eventually.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>9/3/20</p><p>WARNING: non-con drug use, non-graphic reference to past abuse (sexual), non-graphic reference to child abuse (physical)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis thought about how unfair the world was, staring at Harry’s relaxed face and tussled morning hair. He thought over how unjust the universe had to be to put it in Harry’s head and heart full and unwavering love for Louis. Watching Harry in these moments before dawn he felt pity in his stomach, for how full his own heart was for the man before him. </p><p>Did either of the two deserve that bittersweet feeling.</p><p>His heart raced just thinking over his plans for tonight. Liam and Zayn agreed to watch Sonny for the night, so they’d be alone again. He bought the ingredients and the stupidly sappy little ornament that spelt out happy one year, even though the anniversary of their first meeting wasn’t for a few weeks. He wanted the ornament to decorate their tree, that Sonny insisted upon. </p><p>The evergreen that costed more than Harry was willing to admit to Louis, them being in the city and all, sat undecorated in the living room. They had plans later this week to wrap it in tinsel and the scanty decorations Sonny made at his new Montessori school. He wanted this crystal-clear glass ornament on their tree, and he wanted Harry to know. </p><p>Tonight, was the night. He’d finally say it back. Harry made a habit of saying it daily when they parted, before bed, and a million times in-between. He spoke the words so casually and unrequitedly it didn’t make sense to Louis that he continued. Louis would blush and his heart would stutter but he hadn’t returned them yet. </p><p>True to Harry’s words he didn’t ask for them in return. Tonight, thought, would be different.  </p><p> </p><p>Louis should have known this day, this set up, were too good to be true. His son’s one eighty and his perfect boyfriend. He should have known good things don’t happen to him for too long. He should have known. </p><p>Everything was fine when they arrived at the club, Harry kissing his cheek and Sonny’s before telling them he had some paperwork to do and disappearing into his office. He would have stayed home and cooked but Louis had to be there anyways due to today being drug test day. </p><p>The first Thursday of every quarter was a drug check day at the club, something recommended to them by the government to continue to get their tax break. Just because the business was a front doesn’t mean they don’t run it as legally as possible. And it’s all really just a technicality because if someone fails their test they just redo it after a month. Niall meant it when he said they deal in second and third chances. </p><p>He went looking for Zayn, after receiving a text telling him he had something for Sonny. Finding him in Liam’s office, which currently housed the employees who needed tests. Louis sat with Sonny in his lap, the boy playing with a gameboy advance Zayn had for him. He wasn’t too concerned about the testing because he knew he’d been sober but one of the bottle girls seemed to be fidgeting more than usual and biting her nails. Louis suspected she was about to fail her test. </p><p>	Zayn sat on the cushion next to Louis speaking softly to the little boy about tips for the game. Sonny was more than seriously taking in the information, nodding as he tried to make his way through the game. Louis chuckled when he whipped his head up to show Zayn he’d beaten some random trainer in the pokemon game. </p><p>	“Louis.” His head jerked up at the tone, if he hadn’t seen Harry in the doorway, he wouldn’t have recognized the voice at all. Standing there, jaw stiff, made something nervous brew in Louis’ stomach. A quick movement of his chin followed by Harry taking a sharp turn in the doorway, spoke volumes. </p><p>	Zayn shot Louis a weird look, but he just shook his head, “Sonny boy, do you mind sitting here with Uncle Zayn while I talk to papa in the hall?” </p><p>	Sonny didn’t raise his eyes from the game before nodding, wiggling his way onto Zayn’s lap. Moments later Louis found himself in front of a furious looking Harry, “H, what’s wrong?” </p><p>	Louis tried to raise a hand to touch Harry’s arm, but he shook his head in a sharp movement and moved out of touch, “Do you have something to tell me?” </p><p>	The smaller man gulped, shaking his head, “No. Did something happen?” </p><p>	“Nothing?” Harry’s eyes narrowed dangerously. He’d seen those eyes before, heard that tone but never directed at him, “How could you be so reckless?” </p><p>	“What?” Louis whispered, flinching at the tone, “What’d I do?” </p><p>	“What’d you do?” Harry whispered in disbelief, a quick hand striking out to grab Louis’ arm, “What didn’t you do? Your test lit up like a fucking christmas tree! How could you do this to me? To Sonny? Have you been getting high with him around?” </p><p>	“What? No!” Louis’ voice was hoarse with the pressure of his throat tightening in fear, his skin buzzing painfully, adrenaline pumping through his veins. Harry’s hand was too tight. It hurt too much. </p><p>	“No? You weren’t using with him around?” Harry bit out, “After everything he’s been through you’re gonna do this to him?” </p><p>	“H-h-harry…” Louis whispered, fighting back tears in his eyes, “I didn’t take anything. I didn’t!” </p><p>	“What? So your test was a lie?” Harry yelled, “Niall faked it? Jesus, Louis! You could have just asked for help. I knew I shouldn’t have started fucking you again. I should have known you were going to mess up eventually.” </p><p>	Louis’ tears finally broke free, his words stuttering out nonsensically, he barely heard the office door open and the bottle girl from before appeared, “I switched our tests.” </p><p>	“What?” Harry’s hand dropped from Louis’ arm. </p><p>	“I didn’t want Niall to know that I was using again, so I took Louis’ sample cup.” She looked nervous, finally turning to Louis, “I’m sorry, Louis. It was stupid and I didn’t mean to get you in trouble.” </p><p>	Louis swallowed thickly, but the look on Harry’s face sobered up his panic in an instant. He nodded at the girl who took a few steps into Niall’s office and disappeared. His lips shook again but this time in anger. He was angry. He hadn’t been that whimpering mess of a man in almost a year and Harry reduced him to that in an instant. Harry, who looked so guilty in front of him right now, took everything good and safe about their relationship and broke it over his knee. </p><p>	Louis had been scared. He’d be the first to admit that he was scared of a lot of things. That he’d been hurt by a lot of people but not by Harry. Well, not until now. </p><p>	“Louis.” Harry began, taking a step forward, but Louis just took a step back. Trying to collect his thoughts. Trying to remember that Sonny was behind that door and that he shouldn’t yell, “Louis, I’m sorry. I overreacted.”</p><p>“It doesn’t fucking matter, Harry!” Louis whispered, not taking his eyes off Harry’s shoulder, unable to meet his eyes, “I’ll just mess up eventually, it's what you can expect from me, right?” </p><p>“No.” Harry stepped forward, grabbing Louis' wrist, “That’s not what I meant! I’m sorry but I was just looking out for you. I want you to be healthy for me. For Sonny! I just overreacted, Lou.” </p><p>“Looking out for me?” Louis scoffed, “By grabbing me and yelling at me? You were looking out for me?”</p><p>Harry shook his head, he’d messed up, “No, Louis. I’m sorry.” </p><p>Louis clenched his mouth shut, he didn’t feel safe with Harry’s hands on his body, his eyes locked on the grip completely encircling his wrist, “Let me go.” </p><p>Harry stuttered a breath, but released his arm again, just like he always promised he would, “Louis…” </p><p>“We’re not coming home tonight.” Louis whispered, before turning on his heel and walking from the room. </p><p> </p><p>“Where is Sonny?” Harry asked the next day, after not receiving any answers to his texts. His only relief came in the form of Louis keeping his location shared on ‘find my friends’. He could see that Louis was back at his apartment last night. But even that set Harry on edge, that place wasn’t safe enough for Louis and Sonny. Louis didn’t lift his eyes from his spot standing on the other side of the bar where he counted the drawer for service.</p><p>“Why’re you asking?” Louis whispered, “Because you think I can’t get by without you? Because I can’t raise my own kid? Because I’m just some untrustworthy junkie?” </p><p>“Louis…” Harry would never admit to it but his tone was high and whiny when he spoke next, “I just meant that just because you’re mad at me doesn’t mean you can take him. I love him, too.” </p><p>Louis rolled his eyes, “He’s with Ashton and Gemma for the night. I’m not negligent.” </p><p>“My sister?” Harry was baffled, “I can still watch him.” </p><p>“Didn’t know if you were busy.” Louis shrugged, eyes still not leaving the change on the counter, “I can take care of him without you.”</p><p>“You could have called.” Harry whispered, when the newest bar boy entered the area, looking between them confused. Louis rolled his eyes again, “I’m watching him while you work.” Harry stated, “Look at me, Louis. I’m watching him, ok? If he’s not with you than he’s with me, ok?” </p><p>Louis bit the inside of his cheek and nodded, “Fine. If that’s what you want.” </p><p>“What the fuck, Louis?” Harry growled, “Of course it’s what I want! I want you both to come back!” </p><p>“Well Harry, sometimes we don’t get what we want.” Louis was bitter, angry. He couldn’t see past the red hue burning in his gut. When Louis’ eyes finally met Harry’s he quickly had to look away, the whites of his green eyes were red like he hadn’t slept or like he’d been crying. The latter seemed more likely as tears gathered there now. </p><p>“Ok,” Harry’s voice was nearly broken, “Just take him back to our place ok? I’ll stay somewhere else, but his bed and stuff are there. Please?” </p><p>Louis nodded down at his still hands and didn’t breath again until Harry was across the floor and on the mezzanine. His stomach ached and his lungs felt empty as he tried to figure out who he hated more. Himself, for making Harry cry and for being such a stubborn scared idiot or Harry, for being so perfect and ruining it. </p><p> </p><p>It was a busier Friday than usual but Niall ignored the buzz, leaning over Liam’s chair, back arched and whispering something profoundly dirty into his boss’ ear, when Harry stormed in not even a few hours later, “What the...” </p><p>Harry marched around Liam’s desk and gripped Niall’s arm, pulling him from his position. There was no room for discussion as Harry pulled the irishman from the office to the mezzanine, “Styles, what the fuck?” </p><p>Harry rounded on Niall, his features muddled into something furious. Liam followed the pair out and tried to step between them, “Harry, what do you think you’re doing?” </p><p>The taller man didn’t even acknowledge Liam, pointing over the railing and seething out, “Niall, if you don’t do your motherfucking job, I am going to shoot every single one of them.” </p><p>Niall finally looked down to the floor below and realization dawned on his face. There atop the bar, Louis danced, his wet white shirt clinging to his body and random people throwing money his way. The vein in Harry’s forehead was about to burst when Louis began to pour a shot directly into a Harry Styles knockoff’s mouth. </p><p>Harry turned back to Niall to begin another round of threats, when Niall raised his hands in defeat, “I’ll do it. Don’t worry. Why don’t you go back in the office.” </p><p>Liam watched Louis narrow his eyes up at Harry, when Niall tried to pull him down from his position on top the bar. Lifting his hand in a middle finger salute. Liam winced when Harry’s fist slammed against the railing in anger. </p><p>“I’m gonna…” Harry muttered, turning on his heel and whispering to himself angrily. Louis still watched from his position now back on the floor, as Niall lectured him. Liam shook his head down at the bar boy, what was he going to do with these people?</p><p> </p><p>The end of the night rolled around too soon and Liam sat at the bar watching as Louis ignored him. He let Tyler, the new bar boy get his drink but he felt those eyes burning into his skin. There wasn’t enough cleaning or counting in the world to ignore him forever so after an hour he finally walked over. </p><p>He didn’t know Liam well enough but when he spoke, he sounded tired, “Louis.” </p><p>“Liam.” Louis met the man’s gaze, with raised eyebrows. </p><p>“How long are you going to be doing this?” Liam asked, not accusingly but oddly sad, “He’s been miserable all day.” </p><p>“Believe it or not, this isn’t a game to me.” Louis rolled his eyes, “You would never get it.” </p><p>“Try me.” Liam asked, tone even. Warm brown eyes tracking over Louis’ face. </p><p>“He hurt me.” </p><p>“Physically?” Liam asked, he cocked his head in concern. And Louis didn’t know if he was being stupid, but it felt like Liam would take Louis’ side if that was true. Like, maybe, Liam would set Harry straight. </p><p>“No. Well, not completely.” Louis huffed, “Look it might not make sense to you…” </p><p>“Louis.” Liam cut him off, softly shaking his head, “I live with a man who was abused in every way possible for quite a while under my nose. I’m in love with a man with more baggage than a jumbo jet. Talk to me, please. I might just get it.” </p><p>Louis bit his lip, his own gaze dancing between deep, warm brown eyes, “I didn’t feel safe for years before I met him, ever. I didn’t think I’d ever feel safe again and then he just did it so effortlessly. It was just like one day I was alone and afraid and the next I wasn’t. It wasn’t even a question of if I trusted him or how much, he was just safe. Then he…” </p><p>“He hurt you.” Liam finished when Louis’ voice wobbled. </p><p>Louis nodded, licking his lips again, “I know…” </p><p>“That’s ok.” Liam nodded, reaching a hand out to sit on top of Louis’, “Just know that your position here isn’t reliant on Harry and that you’re always welcome. And if he hurts you I will beat the ever loving shit out of him.” </p><p>Louis quirked a smile, “He’d never.” </p><p> </p><p>	Louis’ pacing had gotten bad. After a few days he’d calmed quite a bit and now he just wanted to talk it out. He wanted Harry to call and say he was sorry again and Louis wanted to forgive him. But Louis was to much of a coward to make the first move. </p><p>	“Daddy?” Louis paused midstep when Sonny spoke from the couch. </p><p>	“Yeah, sweetie?” </p><p>	“Why isn’t Papa sleeping here anymore?” </p><p>	“He’ll be back soon, little love. Don’t you worry.” Louis promised, flinching when his phone rang out loudly. An unknown number appeared and Louis bit his lip not usually in the habit of picking up numbers he didn’t know. But he was hopeful. Maybe it was Harry, “This is Louis.”</p><p>	“Louis?” He almost didn’t recognize her voice, he’d never heard her cry before so it took him a second. She must have heard the way air got stuck in the back of his throat, because she quickly continued, “Please don’t hang up?” </p><p>	“I-I-I…” He stuttered helplessly, “Olivia? I don’t-” </p><p>	“Please, Louis let me explain?” She started and when he didn’t speak again she continued, “I just want to see my son-our son-I miss him so much.” </p><p>	Louis felt his cheeks redden, it felt so wrong to hear desperation in Olivia’s words, but he had to protect Sonny, “You hurt him, Liv.” It came out too weak to be impactful, “The psychiatrist said you hurt him.” </p><p>	“Did William say that?” She spoke carefully now but Louis was confused. </p><p>	“No. But he…” </p><p>	Olivia interrupted him, “I never hurt him. Peter did.” </p><p>	“Peter did?” Louis questioned. </p><p>	“Yeah he hit him and yelled at him.” Olivia spoke too quickly, Louis watching Sonny on the couch where he was coloring, happily, “He hurt me too, Lou.” </p><p>	“He did?” Louis felt his words shake out of his mouth. He couldn’t imagine Olivia ever putting herself in the position to be hurt. </p><p>	“Yeah.” Olivia whispered, “He hurt you too, didn’t he?” Louis thought back to the times Olivia let Peter hurt him. The times his girlfriend watched on with arousal as Peter fucked him so hard, he could barely walk. </p><p>	“You liked it when he hurt me.” Louis whispered his accusation. Not brave enough to directly accuse her. </p><p>	“No I didn’t, Louis. I may have allowed it to happen, but he went too far.” Olivia whispered, “He was older and controlling and he took advantage of us! Remember that time you begged him to stop and he wouldn’t?” </p><p>	Louis sucked in a breath, in his memory she’d egged Peter on and when Louis cried she’d praised Peter, “Please don’t—you liked that, Olivia.” </p><p>	“No I didn’t, Louis.” She whispered, “He fucked you up pretty bad, didn’t he?” </p><p>	“No,” Louis whispered, “You…” </p><p>	“I didn’t stop it and I’m sorry for that.” Olivia interrupted again, “I’m sorry that I let him hurt you, but I won't take the blame for something I didn't do.”</p><p>	“He got me sent to prison.” Louis bit his lip, wondering if she was right. If all this time Peter was the bad guy and Harry just didn’t see that. Harry convinced Louis Olivia was at fault but maybe all along it really was just Peter. Maybe Louis had been right about her?</p><p>	“I know, Louis.” Olivia gulped, “Please, let me see him and we can talk this out. I know I’ll never get custody back but maybe we can work something out? Maybe we can begin to heal? I-I-I left him.” </p><p>	Louis shook his head, “I don’t know, Liv. He’s finally going better, I don’t want to back track…” He wasn’t sure if he was talking about himself or Sonny but the statement was true of both.</p><p>	“Please?” And what she said next was the nail in the coffin, “You can bring your boyfriend, Harry was it? I swear, I just want to make peace.” </p><p>	“Ok, I’ll umm meet you yours than?” Louis asked. It didn’t feel right bringing her to Harry’s place and he didn’t want her over at his own apartment. </p><p> </p><p>	Louis shifted from foot to foot uneasily. Sonny sat on his hip, when he left for Olivia’s he hadn’t quite finished his nap yet, so he wasn’t feeling like walking. The doorperson let him up to the elevator and he felt nauseated sitting there outside his door. 		</p><p>	Olivia opened it within seconds and Louis knew he made a mistake. She was made up with perfect makeup and athleisure wear, but that wasn’t the biggest red flag. No, the biggest red flag was the way Sonny took one look at her and tucked his face into Louis neck, muttering his displeasure. </p><p>	“Maybe this was a mistake.” Louis voiced out loud, his throat dry.  </p><p>	“No, please.” Olivia stepped aside, “Just stay for a little while? Don’t you miss me, William?” </p><p>	“NO!” Sonny stated, clearly before turning back to Louis, “Wan’ Papa!”</p><p>	“Ok, yeah.” Louis nodded, taking a step back, “We’ll go find Papa then? No need to get all upset.” </p><p>	“Please, Louis?” She made one last attempt grabbing Louis’ hand. And he wanted to feel repulsed, but her skin against his sent shivers up his spine, “Just have a cup of coffee? Twenty minutes tops?” </p><p>	Louis glanced to the hand on his wrist, then to Sonny’s clear blue eyes, “Ok, we’ll go find Papa in twenty minutes, baby?” Sonny shook his head, balling his fists. Louis pulled his phone from his pocket handing the device to the boy, “Here, you can play your game while you wait and then I’ll get you a nice warm crossiant, ok?” </p><p>Sonny grabbed the phone and wearily watched his mother. When Louis settled on the couch a cup of coffee in one hand and Sonny’s free hand in the other, he finally whispered, “So how have you been?” </p><p>“Not so good, Lou.” Olivia whispered, eyes tracking Louis’ nervous drinking. In just three minutes he’d finished the cup of coffee, his hand shook nervously as he put it down. </p><p>Louis nodded, his understanding. He didn’t know what to say, not just out of nervousness but also because Sonny was here, “I’m sorry to hear that.” </p><p>“Its ok. I’m glad I get to see him again.” Her eyes were stuck on Sonny, “He’s talking now?” </p><p>Louis nodded, Harry and him didn’t make the habit of speaking about Sonny like he wasn’t there and it made him uncomfortable now. Even though it was clear the boy wanted nothing to do with the woman. </p><p>His stomach flipped nervously, or so Louis thought until suddenly his head felt heavy. Shaking his head to clear it before he opened his eyes again and Olivia was leaning closer, her voice a million miles away, “Louis?” </p><p>His words slurred even as they ricocheted around his own head, “Liv, tell me you didn’t…”</p><p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Olivia responded, reaching across Louis to try and touch Sonny, but the boy wasn’t having it. Pulling away and trying to hide behind Louis’ sluggish body. </p><p>“Please?” Louis could feel tears of fear falling down his face, “Please? Don’t…” </p><p>Louis didn’t even know what he was asking her not to do but a million terrible things ran through his mind. She could kidnap him, Olivia had dual citizenship in Italy, she could take him and go there. It’d take years to get him back if that happened. Or worse she could hurt him again. Louis wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if the latter was true. </p><p>From one blink to the next Sonny was gone, Olivia leaning over him a needle in hand, “No, Livy please? I don’t want…” </p><p>“Shh… It’ll make you feel good.” She whispered, tightening an elastic band around his arm, “Remember how good I used to make you feel?” </p><p>“No. No.” Louis whispered, around pathetically delicate sobs, “Please, don’ take mm?”</p><p>“I won’t take him.” She chuckled, “We can have him together, huh? A happy little family…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Sorry about the long wait! </p><p>But luckily the next part is almost all written so it shouldn't be so long next time. </p><p>Comment and kudos if you like it!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Let me know if y'all are interested in more of this universe. I have a solid idea about a sequel and also a one shot about Zayn.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You’re being an idiot.” Zayn’s voice wandered into the room long before his body made its way. He looked a lot angrier than Harry thought he should. Then he ever had been with him. </p><p>“Excuse me?” Harry asked, watching the man walk into his office, and collapse into a chair. The a dark haired man’s shoulders sunk in on himself subconsciously, fiddling with his fingers. Harry’s eyes caught the motion and a heaviness formed in his chest, thinking about Louis. He and Zayn were so similar. </p><p>“Your boyfriend wants you to apologize again.” Zayn shook his head as if that was obvious. </p><p>“Did he tell you that?” Harry leaned forward, looking for his phone. Harry wasn’t interested in apologizing to anyone but for Louis he’d crawl through glass, walk through fire. </p><p>“No, but he was giving you ALL the signals last night.” Zayn continued, “I saw the way he looked at you when you did the kid hand off.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that.” Harry sighed, “I really fucked up and it feels like I can’t just stop making mistakes. Maybe we just need some space?” </p><p>“Oh my god, you are so fucking clueless, just like Liam.” Zayn rolled his eyes, “Don’t let your first little fight ruin it.” </p><p>“Zayn, I did…” Harry huffed out of his breath, “I did to him what every other shitty terrible person in his life did.” </p><p>“What? You beat the shit out of him?” Zayn scoffed, “Tortured him psychologically? I don’t think you’re being reasonable.” </p><p>“I made him feel like he was nothing.” Harry’s voice shook as his eyes closed. He couldn’t count the amount of time he’d berated himself over his words this past week. When he finally reopened his eyes, his phone began to ring, Louis’ vibration pattern strumming from his pocket. He picked the phone up in an instant, “Louis?”</p><p>	“Papa!” Sonny whispered excitedly, “Papa come get me.” </p><p>	“Hey there, Sonny.” Harry let out a sigh, he missed his boy. This past week he’d only seen him in passing while putting him to bed if Louis was working, “Where’s daddy?” </p><p>	“Daddy’s sick, Papa.” He can hear Sonny pouting on the other side of the phone, “Papa come help daddy and me.” </p><p>	“Daddy’s sick?” Harry asked, a pit tightening in his stomach, “What’s wrong with Daddy?” </p><p>	“Well, old Mumma came back and she made Daddy cry a lot, Papa.” Sonny mumbled, “Papa, you said she wouldn’t come back. Promised!” </p><p>	“Your mother is there, Sonny?” Harry felt furious for an instant and then fear crept in. Why would Louis allow this woman back into their lives? What if that woman hurt Louis again or Sonny?</p><p>	“Old mumma.” Sonny repeated, “Bad mumma.” </p><p>	“Ok, Sonny.” Harry pat his pockets looking for his keys, “I’ll be there soon okay? Are you at our home?” </p><p>	“No.” </p><p>	“Oh.” Harry panicked before checking for Louis’ phone on ‘find my friends’ and it appeared he was in one of the skyscraper apartment buildings downtown, “Sonny are you in a really tall building like our home.” </p><p>	“Yup.” Sonny mumbled, and Harry could hear through the receiver what sounded like Louis’ sobs, “Daddy’s crying again.”</p><p>	“Did she hurt Daddy, Sonny boy?” Harry whispered and Zayn had already understood the gist of what was going on. Calling Liam and informing him the location to meet them at. </p><p>	“I don’t know. Daddy said he didn’t feel good and then...” Sonny sounded upset, “Bad mumma put me in a bedroom alone cuz she said I was naughty. B-b-but I wasn’t bein’ naughty, papa. I didn’t break any of the rules.” </p><p>	Harry and Zayn were already in the car, “I know you’re not naughty, Sonny. Papa will be there so soon and everything will be alright.”</p><p> </p><p>	After fifteen minutes of Harry forcefully convincing the front desk person that he needed to go see his son, he stood in front of the door. He knocked standing off to the side so that he wouldn’t be seen through the peephole. </p><p>	Olivia opened the door, noticing the three men and trying to slam it shut. Liam’s foot caught the door and he shook his head, “I don’t think so.” </p><p>	“You can’t be here.” She stated, looking between the three angrily, “This is trespassing!”</p><p>	“I want my son.” Harry started forward, pausing when she put her hand on his chest. </p><p>	“Your son?” She scoffed, “I don’t think so.” </p><p>	Harry clenched his fist trying desperately to contain his anger and not punch the woman in front of him, “If you don’t get out of my way, I will put a bullet between your eyes.” </p><p>	She huffed, but allowed Harry to push past her, Zayn and Liam following close behind. After entering the apartment, Harry first noticed a living room than the passed-out form of his boyfriend on the sofa. </p><p>	He took quick steps over to Louis, grasping his face between solid hands, “Louis? Baby, you ok?” Louis’ eyes fluttered and a barely there twitch of his lips followed by a hum was the only response he got. </p><p>	“What did you do?” Harry seethed angrily, checking Louis’ pulse and breathing. Luckily it seemed like he was just really high.</p><p>	“What did I do?” She scoffed, eyeing the three wearily, trying to feign over confidence by observing her nails, “He showed up here high and begging for me to take him back.” </p><p>	“What?!” Not one person believed that was true. </p><p>	“You heard me!” She continued, “He showed up here high, and crying like usual. I had to take poor William from him before he—”</p><p>	“Shut up.” Harry finally stood. </p><p>	“What?” She huffed, trying to appear taller. Even trying desperately to stand her ground, not taking even a step back.</p><p>	“I said, shut, the fuck, up.” Harry continued, closing in on her, “Louis has been successfully sober for almost a year. You, on the other hand, are a manipulative lying sadistic son of a bitch, and if you make it out of this apartment today then I better not ever see you again.” </p><p>	“He’s an addict. A junkie.” She whispered, narrowing her eyes as if she’d won this round, “That’s all he’ll ever be.” </p><p>	“He is the best father for the child that you spent years trying to ruin.” Harry rose a single finger to right under her chin, “He is an amazing, resilient man and I won’t ever let you touch him again. Now I’m getting my son and my boyfriend, and we’re leaving.” </p><p>	Harry turned on his heel after that, searching out Sonny in one of the bedrooms, “Papa! Papa! Papa!”</p><p>“Hey there, Sonny, it’s time to go!” Harry picked him up walking him to the living room and placing him back on the ground, “Can you walk and hold Uncle Zayn’s hand like a big boy?” </p><p>“Uh huh.” He muttered, huddling closer to Zayn, glaring little scared daggers at Olivia. She looked worse for wear, and Harry suspected that Liam may have threatened her as well. But he only really had eyes for Louis, picking him up and sighing when Louis subconsciously nuzzled into the taller man’s chest. </p><p> </p><p>	Louis gulped, hands shaking as he stopped in front of the flimsy music stand this church used as an NA podium. He wasn’t proud of the fact that he more or less abandoned Sonny with Harry this past week. Or the fact that after waking from his euphoric state, he cried and vomited before fleeing. Harry, not letting him leave unless he promised to go to a meeting, to which Louis screamed at him. Heat coloring his cheeks now thinking of the way he degraded himself, telling Harry he was just a ‘junkie’ and a ‘loser’ anyway.  He certainly wasn’t proud of the fact that he’d missed a whole week of shifts.  </p><p>His hands shook and his head ached for something stronger than the singular tablet of Advil he’d allowed himself this morning. He didn’t want to speak but Nick nodded encouragingly from the audience of just a handful of addicts. As he went to start the door to the little meeting room inside the church opened and a familiar head of blonde hair entered. Louis tracked Niall’s movement across the floor until he sat in the fourth row, head down not meeting Louis’ eyes. </p><p>Louis chalked it up to coincidence. He knew Niall was a recovered addict too, so he began, “Hello my name is Louis…” The chorus of ‘hello Louis’ filled the room and the door opened again. This time two more familiar faces appear Zayn and Liam both sitting more toward the middle. Ok, that was too much to be a coincidence. Something was up.</p><p>Louis licked his lips nervously but continued, “…and I am an addict. Anything I could get my hands on really.” The door opened one final time and, of course, it was Harry. The tall man came to sit closer to the front, to which Louis narrowed his eyes at him, “I was almost at my one-year mark until last week. I relapsed. I didn’t want to but whoever really wants to relapse, right?” </p><p>Louis shook his head, when he got up, he didn't know what he was going to say but Nick had suggested he should, “I just started to feel like I was in control again but then it was gone. Sometimes I’m scared that I’ll never be in control because I never have been before. Like my whole life I’ve only ever thought that I had control. That I was doing what I wanted to do. Some days it hard to feel like anything other than a junkie. It’s hard to forget what I allowed to happen to me. What people took from me, what I gave away. But I have a son now and I have to start making good decisions for him, if not anything else. Which is why I’m here. Why I’ll be here for a while. Thank you for listening.” </p><p>The chorus of ‘you’re welcomes’ faded into nothing as Louis purposely avoided the boys, sitting right beside Nick instead. One or two of the regulars went and then he heard that familiar Irish brogue, “Hello my name is Niall…” </p><p>	Louis muttered, “Hello, Niall.” </p><p>	“…And I am addicted to prescription pain killers. I’ve been clean for almost four years now.” A few people clapped most nodded, “Before that I was clean for two years and before that I was clean for almost eighteen months. I first started when I was thirteen years old, so there have been quite a few ups and downs. I know that nobody’s road to recovery is a straight path and mine certainly wasn’t. I’m proud of how far I’ve come but time can only numb the feelings. It’s a constant choice to stay clean, for me at least…” </p><p>	Once Niall left the stand, Zayn was next, “Hello my name is Zayn…” </p><p>	“Hello Zayn.” </p><p>	“…And I am addicted to heroin on my worst days and oxy on my best.” Zayn’s voice was soft, Louis felt guilt gnawing at his stomach for ignoring his friend’s calls this week, “Today marks my first month of sobriety since my last relapse.” That surprised Louis, he knew the other man longer than that. Hell, he considered himself friends with Zayn, longer than that. He had no idea Zayn was still struggling, “I started using to cope with my life but most days it feels like my habit is my whole life. My only shot at staying clean is my ever patient partner who keeps me grounded, and for my chosen family. They’re the only reason I am still alive and functioning…” </p><p>	After that came Liam, “Hello my name is Liam…” </p><p>	“Hello Liam.” Did this man not understand that this was for recovering addicts? Not friends and family. Louis struggled to not roll his eyes. No way was Mr. Perfect, ever calm, an addict. Liam, who had the softest most considerate smile. Who wore the nicest suits Louis’ ever seen and who sobered Harry up. No way was he an addict. </p><p>	“…and I was, well I guess it never really stops, I am addicted to just about everything.” Liam shrugs, cracking a smile, “This coming August will mark my eighth year of sobriety. I started extremely young, I mean I was doing lines of coke at my tenth birthday party. There were a lot of users in my family, so it seemed almost natural. Even today I still hesitate to decline if I find myself with people partaking…” Liam was a user too? Louis really hadn’t realized how many recovering addicts he’d surrounded himself with. </p><p>	Finally, Louis had to peek up when he heard the next person ascend to the little music stand, “Hello, my name is Harry.”</p><p> 	Louis locked eyes with Harry. He knew Harry’s story so he wasn’t surprised when he started, “…and I am a narcotics addict. I’m almost six years clean but I’ve been struggling lately.” Louis was shocked, Harry was his rock. Had he failed the other man, who tried so hard to take care of him while struggling himself, “I’m in love with another person who suffers from an addiction like me.” </p><p>	The blue eyed boy finally lowered his eyes, a pink flush coating his cheeks. Harry still loved him, he was still in love with him. After everything, “I’m afraid that I’ve failed the person that I love because they often say that they feel broken and scared. I’m afraid that they might see themselves alone or isolated despite being surrounded by people that love him and struggle just like him. I struggle to find the words or the actions to let him know that I’m here for him and that I feel broken and scared too. I don’t know how to be enough for him or how to show him that we’re both just ‘junkies’ making better choices these days.” </p><p>	He could feel Harry’s heavy gaze on him, his voice cracking in such an uncharacteristically and publicly vulnerable manner, “My mom used to say that ‘love never fails but I certainly do’ and I think I may have failed this time as well. Thank you for listening.” </p><p> </p><p>	The meeting ended and Louis stayed in his seat longer than those around him. When he finally got up the boys were all together drinking shitty coffee and talking quietly. He knew they all watched his approach, but none of them turned to look at him until he was right in front of them, “Hey.” </p><p>	“Hey.” Harry was the first to respond, a little too eager. </p><p>	“I didn’t—” Louis paused, not sure how to say it. He glanced at Zayn in particular, “I didn’t know.” </p><p>	“Some days are harder than others, as is with most things.” Zayn nodded with a sigh, nudging Louis’ shoulder with his own, “But it’s not as easy as I may make it look.”</p><p>	“I thought you were all just better than me.” Louis shrugged, biting his lip, “I thought you all had it figured out.” </p><p>	“Nope.” Niall cracked a smile, knocking Louis playfully with his knuckles, “We’re all cut from the same addict cloth.”</p><p>	Louis laughed a little, “I’m sorry. I was making you all, everyone, into my enemy when that wasn’t even close to the truth.”</p><p>	“There's nothing to forgive.” Liam nodded, “You’re part of the family whether you’re fucking my brother or not.” </p><p>	Louis ducked his head, blushing, “Thank you.”</p><p>	The boys nodded and Liam put a hand on Zayn and Niall’s shoulders, “Well, we have to be off but we miss you and our little nephew as well so please bring him around some time.” </p><p>	And he was alone, just him and Harry staring at each other in the backroom of a church each with lukewarm coffee in hand. Harry started, “I hope this wasn’t an invasion of your space.” </p><p>	“No.” Louis shook his head, “I think I needed to hear what was said. What everyone had to say.”</p><p>	“It was all true.” Harry nodded, ducking his head to meet Louis’ eyes, “We’re all in different boats but the same storm.”</p><p>	“Does Sonny hate me?” Louis blushed, “For leaving?” </p><p>	“No. He’s just confused mostly.” Harry shot Louis a soft smile, “He wants you back.”</p><p>	Louis sniffled, relief at that, “I missed him. And I miss…”</p><p>“I miss you so much.” Harry whispered almost too softly to be heard, when Louis chickened out and couldn’t finish his words, “I know that you need space but, shit, baby I just miss you.”</p><p>	Louis shivered, biting his lip as he watched Harry’s breathing stutter, “You’re too good to me, Harry. You gave me the time and the space, I was out of control, and I'm sorry I let you down.” </p><p>“You don’t have to apologize for that, Lou.” Harry stepped closer, grabbing Louis’ hand, “I promised I’d always let you go if you asked but sometimes loving someone is knowing when to let them go and when to hold on.”</p><p>“I was being stubborn for no reason” Louis scuffed his shoe on the ground, “and I-I guess that I know what I already knew, I was better with you.”</p><p>“I miss you so much, Louis. I want you home. I want you and Sonny home.” Harry stepped forward, “Please?” </p><p>	Louis rocked on his heels, wanting to say yes, but some dark and punishing part of him tried to stutter out a no. His lip wobbling, dangerously, as he whined, “Harry.”</p><p>	“Louis.” Harry stepped even closer, grabbing Louis’ hands in his own, “Please, let me hold on to you.” </p><p> </p><p>	“Harry, I don’t know about this…” Louis couldn’t even look at him, eyes focused on the dashboard ahead of him, whispering so Sonny couldn’t hear him. </p><p>	“It’s going to be ok, honey.” Harry reassured him, hand landing softly on his thigh. </p><p>	“Daddy?” Sonny asked from the back, taking his headphone out, “Are we here?” </p><p>	“Yup!” Louis faked his enthusiasm.” turning to Harry, “I should have called or something. It’s rude to show up out of the blue and…” </p><p>	“Lou.” Harry silenced him with a press of their lips together, “It’s your parents. We need to invite them to our wedding and It’ll be ok. If it isn’t than you still have the most beautiful family in the world. Isn’t that right, Sonny boy?” </p><p>	“Uh huh!” Sonny unbuckled himself from his booster seat, “Papa said I was the cutest!”</p><p>	“That’s true.” Louis smiled, getting out from the car finally, and opening Sonny’s door. Harry already grabbing his other hand. </p><p>	The front porch looked different from the last time he’d been home, back when he was still a college student. Back before… everything. The doorbell rung out and Louis could hear feet moving inside, his mother’s voice yelling, “I’m coming, one moment.” </p><p>	Harry’s hand tightened in his, and he sent him one last reassuring nod. His mother didn’t look a day older from the last time he saw her. People always said he had the prettiest mom, the youngest mom, and that struck him hard in this moment. </p><p>	Harry squeezed his hand one last time before Louis whispered, “Hi, mom.” </p><p>	“Louis!” She whispered, almost in shock, “I—I don’t even. Look at you!”</p><p>	Louis nodded, nervously tightening his hand on Sonny’s shoulder, “I’m sorry I didn’t—” And she cut him off before he could finish, pulling him into a tight embrace. </p><p>	“No need to apologize for anything, Louis.” She pulled back, holding his face in her hands, “I’m just happy to see you again.” Jay pulled back finally smiling to Harry and then down at the boy next to Louis, “Who are these handsome men?” </p><p>	“It’s nice to meet you, Ma’am.” Harry reached out a hand to which Jay shook easily, “My name is Harry.”</p><p>	“Harry is my fiancé,” Louis swallowed, realizing that he never actually came out to his mother. But he pushed on, replacing his hand back onto Sonny’s shoulder, “And this is my son, Sonny. Sonny, this is your grandmother.” </p><p>	Sonny bit his lip, tucking his face into Louis’ hip, but his mother was always good with kids, “Hey there, Sonny. What grade are you in?” </p><p>	The boy looked up worriedly, but Harry and Louis just nodded encouragingly, “Kindergarten.” </p><p>	“Kindergarten!” Louis’ mother smiled easily, “Do you know that you have an aunt and an uncle in Kindergarten?”</p><p>	“What? There’s two more?” Louis whispered; he had more siblings? But Harry just squeezed his shoulders encouragingly. </p><p>	“Yeah, two more.” His mother smiled gently, before turning back to Sonny, “Do you want to play with them, sweetie?” </p><p>	Louis nodded, so Sonny did as well, and his mother walked hand and hand back into the house. Calling for children inside. Harry’s hand on his shoulder directed his face back his way, “You ok, Lou?” </p><p>	“I have more siblings.” Louis stated, “Younger than my son.” </p><p>	“Yeah. Younger than your niece and nephew.” Harry smiled, mentioning Gemma and Ashton’s kids, “More family to love. More family for Sonny.” </p><p>	“Right, yeah. Definitely.” Louis nodded. Swallowing before looking back up to Harry and glancing a kiss off his cheek, “Thank you for making me do this.” </p><p>	“Anything for you.” </p><p>	“You never fail.” Louis rushed out.</p><p>	“What?” Harry chuckled. </p><p>	“What you said at the N.A. meeting a few months back, ummm…’love never fails but I certainly do’? I-I-I just meant, you never fail me. Never.” Louis nodded, “I love you.” </p><p>	Harry’s face dropped to something so utterly serious before nodding, squeezing his shoulder tightly. His mother’s voice calling from inside, “Louis, are you coming?” </p><p>	Louis paused a moment too long, meeting Harry’s watery eyes, “Yeah, mom, be right in.” And, for at least this moment, everything was good, everything was enough.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So that's it. </p><p>Thank you for everyone who commented, those really do keep me going! </p><p>I hope you enjoyed and didn't think this was too sappy or simplistic. </p><p>Love you all,<br/>stay safe.</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was supposed to be a one shot but it grew too large. Hope you enjoy! </p>
<p>I always appreciate feedback, kudos, and comments!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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